9 Uncommon New Year’s Resolutions for 2022

December 31, 2021

“In 2022, I want to…” Ugh. Tired of all the generic new year’s resolutions that never last beyond five business working days?

Maybe these nine not-so-common resolutions should be on your list instead.

1. Tweet more memes

Imagine if memes suddenly go extinct, and people forgot how to find the “funny” in even the most serious of things? Tragic. Keep memes alive, plis and tenks.

2. Save more urgent 2ks

It’ll shock you to learn that “insufficient funds” is no respecter of persons. May the rainy day not find you without an umbrella.

3. Not making any new year’s resolutions…

…And avoid people who ask you about your new year’s resolutions.Why? Well, January is tomorrow, don’t worry you cannot change.

4. Survive “Malaria” and it’s siblings

Every disease manifesting as malaria; Omicron and other COVID variants or whatever they call themselves better stay away from you and yours.

5. Delete all your dating apps

It’s not like we’re shading you oh, but since you’ve had those apps, did you find the love of your life? Delete, delete, delete.

6. Own things with your chest

You want to wear your clothes inside out? Own that shit with your full chest. Nobody will beat you. Periodddd.

7. Have one of your tweets go viral

You’ll know you’ve made it in 2022 if at least one of your tweets goes VIRAL, overnight. Make it happen.

8. Be someone’s new year’s resolution

Ehen nau. First off, you are not a potato. So surely, someone somewhere must have you on their wishlist for 2022.

9. Find a bag of money by the roadside

Whether Baco bag or Ghana-must-go, bag is bag. The goal is to find money you didn’t work for. It might seem impossible just like other new year’s resolutions, but the Lord is your strength.

Don’t forget to share this with someone who hates new year’s resolutions.

Cheers, and have a happy new year!

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