Let it be known that I’m not proud of myself for thinking of this. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here are few bedroom slangs we can all borrow from Lagos traffic:

1) “Do you know who I am?”

This is best used when your bedroom skills are in doubt. It’s sweeter when you can back it up with stats. Alternatively, you can scream this one second before you orgasm.

2) “What’s causing the delay?”

Use this one on a case by case basis.

3) “Please, I’m lost. I can’t find where I’m going.”

Men, this one is for you. A closed mouth is a closed destiny.

4) “I will show you madness today.”

If kinky is your hobby, this one is for you.

5) “Hit me first and you’ll see.”

If kinky is not your hobby, this one is for you.

6) “We will sleep here today.”


7) “Sanwo-olu!”

As a Lagosian living in Lagos, you have the right to shout this across a range of scenarios.

8) “Bottled water-Lacasera-Gala.”

Save this one for dirty talk.



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