You are on your last 5k, but your bills are definitely more than 5k. Here are some ways you can turn your last 5k to 500k.

1) Buy data

How will you be able to locate the tech bae that can give you half a million if you do not have data? Better buy some data and start tweeting things like “Javascript>>>>> Python” or “The UI/UX of the web interface is entirely impractical”. Work smarter, not harder.

2) Use the money for transportation to your babalawo

You want that kind of miracle to occur and you think some spiritual things will not go down? You lie. Locate your nearest baba and start to manifest

3) Sow seed in church

When you walk into church, grab the neck of your pastor and tell him that you are dropping your last card and you expect a miracle or else. By the time you use your seed to instill the fear of the spirit in him, something will happen.

Your pastor every night, praying for your miracle

4) Thief am

How much is gun or cutlass and black mask? Buy and use the rest as transport. That bank that has been deducting money from you anyhow, time to collect with interest.

How you show up to the bank

5) Start a ponzi scheme

See, I want to introduce you to something. With 5k, you bring 15 people. Those fifteen people will bring another 15. By the time all of them pay their 5k, you have cashed out.

6) Enter streets

Use the 5k to revamp your wardrobe and then stand on the road and pray for a glucose guardian. Do not think it is gender specific, men too can enter street and shake their money makers.

Yes dear

7) Pretend to die

Use out of the 5k to buy cotton wool and let your friend say you have died. By the time your family has raised the money for your burial, revive and claim it.

Ayomide rise, do not waste our money



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.