These days, many Nigerian sapiosexuals are on the loose, and they are looking for babes who can match their intellectual appetite. How then can you win the heart of a Nigerian sapiosexual and remain there forever? Well, that’s what we are here to teach you.
1. When you meet for the first time, stylishly tell them you have an IQ of 120.
It’s not like you have that IQ, but just say it. I swear, the way they will toast you ehn! They have finally found their intellectual match. Do you know how hard that can be in this Nigeria where many babes are only interested in entertainment news and the colour of Beyonce’s pant?
2. If you want to gift them anything, please make it a copy of Merriam Webster’s dictionary.
A thoughtful and edifying gift from a thoughtful person? Ah, you don win. You have captured their heart with your love.
3. If you don’t want to appear too forward, you can start with a current affairs pamphlet.
It’s small, but it shows you are attuned with your country’s history. If you want to finish things, just casually mention that you know Goodluck Ebele Jonathan studied Zoology. I swear, you have killed the sapiosexual. If you lower your eyes, you’ll see their rock hard erection.
4. If you want to go on a date, please choose a museum.
You are there to display your highly complex brain. Shawarma date cannot show that, please. Don’t embarrass us.
5. When they barb gorimapa, lick their scalp.
This is an act of physical intimacy. And it’s unusal too, which is just one thing Nigerian sapiosexuals like.
6. Want to talk dirty to a Nigerian sapiosexual? Recite the national anthem.
‘Arise o comptriots, Nigeria’s call obey…’ By the time you reach the national pledge, they’ll be the ones begging you to ravish them.
7. When you eventually have sex, moan the names of Nigeria’s past and present head of state.
They hang your legs on the window, scream Yaradua! They grab you in places we cannot mention, scream Tafawa Balewa! They choke you, purr Nnamdi Azikwe. Just do as we say and watch your sapiosexual have the most intense orgasm of their life.