Dwin, The Stoic is popularly known for his heartbreak songs. Every time, the man sings about how one Nigerian woman has broken his heart and he’s trying to recover. Since he’s so experienced in the field, I asked him to give his fellow brothers advice on how they can know a Nigerian woman is about to break their hearts.
This is what he said:
They stop using “we” and “us”
They start making plans for themselves. It starts with going to dinners and the movies without you, then it turns to full-blown trips, and before you know it, she has walked out of your life.
She doesn’t steal your food anymore
Nigerian women like food, especially the one that’s not their own. Just know the relationship is over when she stops stealing your fries or pinching from your chicken.
She doesn’t wear your clothes anymore
You come back home and see that your favourite t-shirt is still where you left it. Problem. If you can’t relate to tweets like, “My girl is stealing my hoodie, and it’s so annoying,” just know you’re a single man.
She doesn’t do the little things
You’ve slept off in the living room without any covering, and the air conditioning is blasting at 16 degrees. If she sees you and leaves you to die of pneumonia, my brother, she’s no longer your girlfriend. She’s your roommate.
She starts getting annoyed by everything you do
Even the way you breathe starts to irritate her. If you mistakenly blink at her the wrong way, she’ll look at you with so much disgust, like you just farted. God, abeg o.
She’s always on the phone
She giggles and blushes every time she’s on the phone. What exactly is so funny? See, just know she’s laughing into another person’s arms.
She no longer insults you
Nigerian women show their love through insults. When you see she no longer calls you “Big head” or “Ode” or says, “You’re very foolish. Get out”, just quickly pack your load out of the relationship because heartbreak is coming.
Once you start noticing these signs, and then, she says, “We need to talk”, just run. Don’t wait for anything or ask any questions. Run.
By the way, come and listen to Dwin’s heartbreak songs and other jams at Z! Fest this Saturday.