6 Nigerians Talk Being Blackmailed With Nudes

May 19, 2020

Blackmailing people with nudes, sex tapes or anything else is a crime and of course, the absolute ghetto. It can have devastating financial and social consequences, subjecting the victim to intense psychological trauma, yet, people do it and get away with it. Yesterday, a Nigerian Twitter user, talked about being blackmailed by her ex-boyfriend. This reminded us about the Sex Life story of the woman who was blackmailed after having a threesome. It’s something that happens to a lot of Nigerians, but not something we talk about enough.

So we decided to ask 6 Nigerians – 4 women and 2 men – about their experiences with blackmail.

Blackmailed Nudes

“My ex-fiance threatened to release my nudes if I didn’t agree to marry him.” – Tolani, 26.

It was unexpected. I trusted him. He was my boyfriend for about two years. We broke up because our genotypes were not compatible and he really wanted to get married. The breakup wasn’t even that painful on my end. What was painful was his refusal to let me go. I can’t say he became a monster because they say that the signs are usually always there. I don’t know how I missed them in the two years we dated.

At first, he went to my parents, friends, neighbours asking them to beg me. Then he started buying me a ton of gifts. At some point, I entertained the possibility of getting back together because we were good together up until the genotype thing came up. Then he started threatening to tell my parents stuff that I had told him. Just silly stuff that my super religious parents would die if they heard. When that didn’t move me, he said he was going to post my nudes online — nudes he had taken of me while we were in the relationship. I begged him, but he wouldn’t listen. He said it was either we got married or nothing. After a while, I got tired and told him to release it. It was only then, he backed down.

It often hits me that if not for the genotype issue, I might have married him.

“My then girlfriend and her friend tried to blackmail me with my nudes.” – Segun, 31 (Male)

This was ages ago. I cheated. I cheated on my babe with her friend. It was bad and I know. I was sorry, but sorry doesn’t solve anything. They conspired to release nudes I had shared with my girlfriend. We hadn’t even broken up and my girl was getting back at me with the person I cheated with. My face wasn’t showing in the picture and I wasn’t going to beg, so I told them to do it. They didn’t. My girlfriend decided to forgive me on a whim. However, I just knew I couldn’t stay with her after she pulled that off. Call me a 30+ man, but now, I don’t even take nudes again.

“A stranger on the internet was going to release my nudes if I didn’t send him credit.” – Janet, 25 (Female)

I had just finished secondary school and it was a long holiday and I was almost always on Facebook. I met this guy who was a friend of a friend and we got chatting. Soon he started asking me for nudes and I didn’t mind; I had sent nudes to guys in the past, it wasn’t a big deal. I sent him a couple of pictures and that was that. A few days later, without provocation, he told me he’d release the photos if I didn’t send him recharge card. I didn’t know if he was joking or not. I was scared. So I got him credit of like N3,000. He asked for more which I didn’t have.

So I lied that I had told my family and church members about it and they were going to back me up if he released it. This was a lie. I couldn’t tell anybody. What exactly do I tell my parents was the reason I sent nudes to a stranger? I blocked him on Facebook and never heard from him. For the first few months of uni, I was scared that he had somehow tracked me down and was following me. I don’t know how I got past that phase.

My guys tried to extort money from me with my friend’s nudes.” – Bade, 28 (Male)

It wasn’t my nudes. It was photo of my best friend – or so they said. They were supposed to be my guys, so when they came to me, I assumed it was banter at first. They told me that if I didn’t send them some money, they would go to my friend and threaten to expose her nudes on Twitter. I didn’t want them to go to her. So I sent them the money. It wasn’t a lot of money. N2K, N3K, but it began accumulating because they kept asking for more. One day, something told me to ask them to show me the photo of my bestfriend and to ask how they had gotten it. Long story short, there was no photo at all. I had never felt so stupid in my life.

He sent my sex tape to my parents and my life hasn’t been the same.” – Esther, 21 (Female)

I was dating this guy and we recorded a sex tape. I thought he deleted it, turns out he didn’t. One day, a few weeks after we broke up — amicably — I got a DM from a burner account threatening to send my sex tape to my parents. I thought it was spam at first, so I ignored it. The messages became consistent and they came on different platforms. I then realised this person was being serious. I tried to have a conversation to find out who it was. The person didn’t reveal their identity and I couldnt decipher who it was.

I could only suspect my ex. So I hit him up and he said he didn’t know anything about that, that he deleted the sex tape. I believed him. Why would he release a sex tape that he featured in? I assumed the person sending me messages was just fooling around. Turns out he was not. My sex tape was in my parent’s WhatsApp soon enough and I was getting calls from everywhere.

The first thing I did was cut myself. My mental health, everything went to shit. It was only then that my ex confessed that he did send the sex tape to a friend while we were dating, before he deleted it. Worst part – it wasn’t even that friend who sent it. It was someone else who had gotten hold of his phone temporarily. When we were able to track down the guy to ask why he did it – not that it mattered, the damage had been done, he said that he just felt like doing it. He had no motive, nothing. He just wanted to destroy someone’s life.

When I was 15, I was blackmailed with a picture of my cleavage.” – Nonso, 23 (Female)

When I was 15, I got close to some people online. There was this particular guy who was 18. We had a lot of sexual conversations mostly surrounding how my first sexual encounter was going to be. I was a curious virgin. I was also very naive. One day, he sent me a dick picture out of the blue. That was the first nude picture I ever got. I took a photo of my boobs (I was wearing a bra) and sent it to him. It was more of a cleavage picture, but back then, it felt like my entire body. He complimented it and asked for more. I refused.

Months later, we had a fight and while we were arguing via chat, he sent a message saying he still had that photo I sent him. But he told me that he had deleted it since, so I was confused. When I confronted him, he said “I lied. I still have it.” I asked him to show me. He refused. I thought he was bluffing but I was low-key scared over a cleavage picture that didn’t even have my face! He said he would make it his WhatsApp profile picture and at that point, I told him to go ahead.

Eventually, he confessed that he didn’t have it and apologized but that was it, I blocked him. There were others like him who try threatened me and couldn’t carry out the threat. This experience didn’t exactly scar me but I made changes to my privacy. Now I’m super careful when I share nudes. I can never get blackmailed with nudes again.

You'll like this

Ope Adedeji

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 13, 2020

As a Nigerian, there are some things you never have to worry about buying because one way or another, you’ll always find it in your house. Read on to see a list of things you never have to buy. 1. Plastic containers Whether from eateries or as souvenirs at owambe’s, you’re sure to have a […]

August 13, 2020

Every woman knows the pain of selecting an outfit for the day and having that outfit backstab them in one way or another. Here are 6 pieces of clothes that consistently betray women. Bras For clothes that were made to support women, bras have turned to the dark side by acting as a constriction device.  […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Inside Life

August 13, 2020

There are more than 23 million people living in Lagos. So how best do you decongest? Extort, sorry tax people! In the space of four days, the Lagos State government has come up with barrage of taxes aimed at sending everyone back to their villages. Here’s the tea: First, there is the new taxes on […]

August 12, 2020

You’ve probably considered getting piercings at some point in your life but the holy fear of getting judged by your Nigerian parents has reset your brain. You don’t want to be a “nincompoop”. Hey, get those piercings. We’ll show you how to survive. 1. Wear a hoodie every time: Hoodies have to become your thing, […]

August 12, 2020

At some point in our lives, we have had way too much alcohol and the memory associated with the experience is almost never pleasant. 6 Nigerians share their worst drinking experience with Zikoko. Emem, 21/ Female I hate black bullet but found myself on the 6th can after hanging out with some friends all day. […]

August 11, 2020

You’re Nigerian. Cheating is in your blood. You might try to fight it but eventually, your true nature will prevail. To make it easier for you, we are offering you this nice guide to help you manage your diverse portfolio of partners. Shh. Don’t let your partner know. 1. Call all of them “Babe, Honey” […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X