Weed edibles are food products infused with cannabis. Most people have tried edibles, often with wild and hilarious consequences.
I really wanted to hear people talk about their wildest experiences with eating weed edibles so I put out an open call on Twitter. The stories I heard ranged from hilarious to downright insane. Read on to catch the best bits.
The first time I ate weed, I died and came back to life.
I didn’t know it was edibles. I just entered my friend’s room and saw moist cupcakes. I took a whole one and ate it. I was vomiting non-stop for like 30 minutes. After I finished vomiting, I started having seizures. Serious ones. I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
My friends forced me to drink like 10 packs of Hollandia milk just so I could calm down. It wasn’t funny at all.
It was at my sister’s birthday party in 2017. I just came in and saw the cakes looking pretty. I had already eaten two before they told me that it was edibles. I nearly ran mad and I was paranoid because I had work the next morning.
That’s how I started hallucinating and couldn’t sleep a wink the whole night. Till today, I don’t know how I went to work the next day and functioned. All I remembered was that I was laughing a lot and was really nice to customers.
I was visiting a friend when I suddenly became hungry. To be fair, he told me the cupcakes in the fridge had weed in it but I ate two anyway. I didn’t feel different so I thought everything was fine.
My friend was walking me to the gate when I just started dancing out of the blue. For context, I never dance in public, but that night, I danced for 5 straight minutes while I was waiting for my shawarma to be ready. Tasted like the best thing I’d ever eaten, thanks to the weed, so I was dancing and giggling all the while.
My Uber arrived to take me home. I was struggling to stay awake so that the Uber driver wouldn’t do anything funny. After a 20-minute journey that seemed like forever, I got home that night and slept from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. After that time, I’ve said “never again” to weed.
It was the first time I ate edibles. I had a brownie and 30 minutes later, I felt hungry. I didn’t know it was munchies, so I ate more of the brownies. I even thought it wasn’t effective, so I went to lie down to watch a movie.
That’s how I slept on the 31st of March and woke up on the 2nd of April. I didn’t realise I had slept for two whole days until I entered Twitter and started seeing tweets about April Fool’s day.
So it was at a friend’s party. I took a large chunk of the brownies because I really like brownies. It was my first time so I didn’t know what to expect. Next thing, I started losing the drinking game we were playing and drinking more booze. I was piss drunk and high. I just started crying and I couldn’t talk.
That’s how I went to the bathroom to pee and started begging somebody to tell me if everything was real or if I was dreaming so that I wouldn’t pee myself. When I wanted to sleep, I climbed my friend’s back, saying I could only sleep at a 90° angle and not at 180°. Till today, I don’t know what that means.
It was in 100 level. I had never smoked or eaten weed before. So I took about 100 naira worth of weed (and by weed I mean actual local igbo) and poured the whole thing inside Indomie; about 8 joints’ worth. I thought “nothing dey happen” until I passed out.
I woke up in the middle of the night. I stood up to get water because my mouth was desert-dry and the floor literally didn’t exist. It was like my neck didn’t exist and my head was just hanging there. I passed out again and didn’t wake up for another two days. Eating weed is an extreme sport.
You should read 7 Nigerian Men Tell Us Their Worst Experience With Alcohol.