5 Ways Your Body Changes After You Turn 30 (According To Twitter)

April 23, 2020

Based on my findings in the festering cesspool that is Twitter, this meme, featuring the great Steve Buscemi, perfectly explains what young people (below 30) think 30-year-olds look like:

But wrinkly, leathery skin is just one of the things young people think comes with being 30. Here’s a list of the other things:

1) Falling asleep everywhere.

According to Twitter streets, once a person turns 30, they’re instantly cursed with the inability to stay awake past 9 PM or through anything. E.g movies, late night conversations etc.

2) Forgetting everything.

How to Purposefully Forget Things: 9 Steps (with Pictures)

As soon as the clock strikes 12 AM on your 30th birthday, say goodbye to all your memories and your ability to remember anything. You’ll be hit with as much forgetfulness as those old white people in movies with Alzheimer’s. Yours won’t be as cute though.

3) Body Pains

The Causes Of Aching Bodies And Easy Solution To Reduce Your Body ...

Body pains where? EVERYWHERE. You’re going to feel pain in joints you didn’t even know you had. Also, whenever you move, your joints are going to squeak louder than the Tin Man’s pelvis during sex. That’s just a thing you (and everyone around you) are gonna have to get used to.

4) Not being able to take small play.

“So you want me at my big age to be dancing to Bop Daddy on tiktok with you? Do you know how old I am?”

5) Incontinence

Female incontinence: it's time to talk! | London Doctors Clinic

It turns out that when you turn 30, Mother Nature takes away the control you have over your urinary sphincter, which is gonna lead to you peeing your pants at random times. You better start stocking up on adult diapers.

Click here to read about 5 ways BDSM can go wrong in Nigeria.

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