4 People Tell Us About Life After Never Tearing Their Middle Sheets In School

June 3, 2020

We did a ton of dumb shit as tweens and adolescents in school: hit our peers with a rubber band and a piece of paper for ‘fun’. Stuck our thumbs for unsuspecting classmates to sit on ‘as a joke’ (how was dosgbe ever a thing?) and we observed advanced economic concepts in managing our resources. You know, by never tearing our middle sheets for school.

In a bit of a reminiscing mood, we caught up with (and didn’t make up the conversations at all) 4 people who took their middle sheets very, very seriously back in school Here’s what they had to say:

Edward

In case you didn’t know, you are speaking to the CTO of Middle Sheets Inc, a multi-national company that is 100% real, unless you heard something from my LinkedIn contacts which I can explain.

Anyway, my turning point with the sheets came in JSS2, I had to write a make up social studies test with a colleague of mine. Long story short, I had two middle sheets I stole collected from a classmate’s literature note. After refusing to give said colleague one-sheet even though I fully could, my teacher praised me for my resolve, praised me to my principal and from there the UN recognised me for my bravery and diligence and shortly after in SS1, I was given my job as CTO and I’ve been there ever since. It’s been 34 years.

Magdalena

For most people, the middle sheet life ended once they got to the middle of the book and had to start writing over it. Me? I didn’t see things life that. I realised the holiness of the middle sheet and kept it clean.

In SS 2, I had maybe 17 notes for Biology, and this was just for the first term because when I got to that middle, my conscience just couldn’t let me write over the holy sheets. I’d write only in the first half of the book. Do you know how tough it is to carry 36 books for biology alone on open day?

My chiropractor says I’ll one day heal from the back pain, personally, I don’t mind moving around and doing life with a hunch back. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Jummy

So funny story, I had to take my first semester of 400 level again. I wish I had a dramatic story to narrate, maybe I beat somebody up or told a misogynistic lecturer to suck it — but it was all because I refused to tear my middle sheet for myself during the last test of the semester.

Everyone around me begged me to tear a sheet from my note. *shudders* Some even offered to give me their middle sheets. But I just couldn’t take it. The middle sheet is too special to waste on a life-changing test that was incredibly important to my GPA.

Anyway, I have therapy in five minutes. Any other questions for me?

Divine

Thank you so much for taking the time out to do this interview. I don’t have a lot of friends and hearing another person’s voice that isn’t courtesy an MTN customer care attendant actually feels really good.

So you know how some people refused to tear their middle sheets? I took mine several notches higher. I reported people that tore their middle sheets and made up stories to get them punished.

Writing tests was hard for everyone in my class, they all knew they’d get in trouble if they tore from their notes, but they couldn’t write tests without it. Anyway, let’s thank the Lord for online chat rooms and people who don’t know your gist from secondary school. It gets lonely when they find out though.

Boyin Plumptre

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