12 Reasons Why Nigerian Parents Actually Give Birth To Children

February 7, 2021

If you think your parents gave birth to you because they actually love you that much, you should think again. This post exposes the untold reasons for Nigerian parents’ desire for children.

We have no cause to lie to you.

1. So that people will not say they don’t have children.

Image result for nigerian baby

For real, Nigerian parents are not concerned that people will say they lack every other thing. Children is where they draw the line. They don’t want people to call them by their first name. They want to be Mummy and Daddy of So-so.

2. So that they can boast without being asked.

Nigerian parents want to use their children to earn bragging rights. It’s why they shout at you when you say you’re working online or from home. How will they announce to the general public that their son or daughter finished with a strong 2:1, has a Masters, a PhD, and is now a Doctor of Medicine at LUTH?

3. So they can have an unpaid househelp.

You, in heaven: I’m coming to this world to enjoy my life.

Your Nigerian parents: Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of a househelp that does not require monetary compensation.

4. So they can have a powerless party to vent all their frustrations on.

Nigerian parents will be insulted by touts, policemen, bosses, yet they will keep quiet. But let them get home and see that you’re too happy with the food you are eating.

Wahala.

5. So they can practice their pastoral aspirations on someone who will not accuse them of being unspiritual.

Did they even born you well to say that their prayers are not scriptural? You will chop unscriptural flogging, my dear.

6. So they can collect plenty foodstuff when it’s time for wedding.

Image result for eru iyawo for introduction

Why else do you think they ask for so many yams and fruits? You have now entered the second phase of your life as a glorified meal ticket. Even if your parents don’t eat it, the extended family members will do.

7. As an unpaid teacher who will bring them up to date with trends.

If your parents have never phoned to ask you what a slang means, you don’t know what God has done for you.

8. So they can be hyped everyday.

Image result for sola sobowale warning

God help you if don’t give the required compliment and hyping when your mother (or father) asks you what you think about their outfit.

9. To have someone they can report to when their other half refuses to listen to them.

And you too, you will nod and say, “Yes ma, I will talk to him.” LEEMAO.

10. To have someone they will force to gist with them.

This is hilarious to see. You will just be on your own and they will barge in and sit on your bed. Next thing, “Come and gist me.”

Gist you about what, please? Mummy please leave my room. I cannot gist you something that you will use against me in the future.

11. Because they need someone to borrow money from without paying back.

For real, has any Nigerian parent ever returned any money they borrowed from their children?

12. And finally, as a retirement plan.

Image result for sola sobowale ali baba dancing

Nigerian parents partying and refusing to work because they know their children will take care of them in their old age.

And honestly, are they wrong?


How To Let Your Nigerian Parents Know That You Have Grown Wings


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 12, 2021

There’s already all the annoying things about salary week, but new weeks can be another struggle and we don’t talk about it enough. Let’s see which one you can relate with the most. 1. Motivational quotes Everybody is suddenly so ‘motivated’ for the new week. Set awon aspire to perspire. That’s when you’ll get broadcast […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Stealing
July 2, 2022

Most Lagosians have a Computer Village story; some are hilarious and others are terrifying. They range from buying a phone and seeing semo inside the box when you get home, to having someone shake your hand and realising five minutes later that your phone is gone. If you have a Computer Village horror story, you […]

Hollywood conference
July 2, 2022

The 12th edition of ZUFF, Nollywood’s major film festival, raised the question of whether the world’s second-largest film market by the number of films can tap the continent’s huge film-making potential and leverage changing economic and technological realities.

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

Stealing
July 2, 2022

Most Lagosians have a Computer Village story; some are hilarious and others are terrifying. They range from buying a phone and seeing semo inside the box when you get home, to having someone shake your hand and realising five minutes later that your phone is gone. If you have a Computer Village horror story, you […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X