If you think your parents gave birth to you because they actually love you that much, you should think again. This post exposes the untold reasons for Nigerian parents’ desire for children.
We have no cause to lie to you.
1. So that people will not say they don’t have children.
For real, Nigerian parents are not concerned that people will say they lack every other thing. Children is where they draw the line. They don’t want people to call them by their first name. They want to be Mummy and Daddy of So-so.
2. So that they can boast without being asked.
Nigerian parents want to use their children to earn bragging rights. It’s why they shout at you when you say you’re working online or from home. How will they announce to the general public that their son or daughter finished with a strong 2:1, has a Masters, a PhD, and is now a Doctor of Medicine at LUTH?
3. So they can have an unpaid househelp.
You, in heaven: I’m coming to this world to enjoy my life.
Your Nigerian parents: Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of a househelp that does not require monetary compensation.
4. So they can have a powerless party to vent all their frustrations on.
Nigerian parents will be insulted by touts, policemen, bosses, yet they will keep quiet. But let them get home and see that you’re too happy with the food you are eating.
5. So they can practice their pastoral aspirations on someone who will not accuse them of being unspiritual.
Did they even born you well to say that their prayers are not scriptural? You will chop unscriptural flogging, my dear.
6. So they can collect plenty foodstuff when it’s time for wedding.
Why else do you think they ask for so many yams and fruits? You have now entered the second phase of your life as a glorified meal ticket. Even if your parents don’t eat it, the extended family members will do.
7. As an unpaid teacher who will bring them up to date with trends.
If your parents have never phoned to ask you what a slang means, you don’t know what God has done for you.
8. So they can be hyped everyday.
God help you if don’t give the required compliment and hyping when your mother (or father) asks you what you think about their outfit.
9. To have someone they can report to when their other half refuses to listen to them.
And you too, you will nod and say, “Yes ma, I will talk to him.” LEEMAO.
10. To have someone they will force to gist with them.
This is hilarious to see. You will just be on your own and they will barge in and sit on your bed. Next thing, “Come and gist me.”
Gist you about what, please? Mummy please leave my room. I cannot gist you something that you will use against me in the future.
11. Because they need someone to borrow money from without paying back.
For real, has any Nigerian parent ever returned any money they borrowed from their children?
12. And finally, as a retirement plan.
Nigerian parents partying and refusing to work because they know their children will take care of them in their old age.
And honestly, are they wrong?
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