12 Reasons Why Nigerian Parents Actually Give Birth To Children

February 7, 2021

If you think your parents gave birth to you because they actually love you that much, you should think again. This post exposes the untold reasons for Nigerian parents’ desire for children.

We have no cause to lie to you.

1. So that people will not say they don’t have children.

Image result for nigerian baby

For real, Nigerian parents are not concerned that people will say they lack every other thing. Children is where they draw the line. They don’t want people to call them by their first name. They want to be Mummy and Daddy of So-so.

2. So that they can boast without being asked.

Nigerian parents want to use their children to earn bragging rights. It’s why they shout at you when you say you’re working online or from home. How will they announce to the general public that their son or daughter finished with a strong 2:1, has a Masters, a PhD, and is now a Doctor of Medicine at LUTH?

3. So they can have an unpaid househelp.

You, in heaven: I’m coming to this world to enjoy my life.

Your Nigerian parents: Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of a househelp that does not require monetary compensation.

4. So they can have a powerless party to vent all their frustrations on.

Nigerian parents will be insulted by touts, policemen, bosses, yet they will keep quiet. But let them get home and see that you’re too happy with the food you are eating.

Wahala.

5. So they can practice their pastoral aspirations on someone who will not accuse them of being unspiritual.

Did they even born you well to say that their prayers are not scriptural? You will chop unscriptural flogging, my dear.

6. So they can collect plenty foodstuff when it’s time for wedding.

Image result for eru iyawo for introduction

Why else do you think they ask for so many yams and fruits? You have now entered the second phase of your life as a glorified meal ticket. Even if your parents don’t eat it, the extended family members will do.

7. As an unpaid teacher who will bring them up to date with trends.

If your parents have never phoned to ask you what a slang means, you don’t know what God has done for you.

8. So they can be hyped everyday.

Image result for sola sobowale warning

God help you if don’t give the required compliment and hyping when your mother (or father) asks you what you think about their outfit.

9. To have someone they can report to when their other half refuses to listen to them.

And you too, you will nod and say, “Yes ma, I will talk to him.” LEEMAO.

10. To have someone they will force to gist with them.

This is hilarious to see. You will just be on your own and they will barge in and sit on your bed. Next thing, “Come and gist me.”

Gist you about what, please? Mummy please leave my room. I cannot gist you something that you will use against me in the future.

11. Because they need someone to borrow money from without paying back.

For real, has any Nigerian parent ever returned any money they borrowed from their children?

12. And finally, as a retirement plan.

Image result for sola sobowale ali baba dancing

Nigerian parents partying and refusing to work because they know their children will take care of them in their old age.

And honestly, are they wrong?


How To Let Your Nigerian Parents Know That You Have Grown Wings


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 26, 2023

Tems wasn’t playing in 2019 when she told us not to try her.  Tems first caught our attention in 2019 with her defiant hit, Try Me. Since then, she’s blown up big time, moving from an underrated alté artiste to one of Nigeria’s biggest afrobeats exports.Whether it’s dropping songs of the summer back-to-back, with Essence […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X