10 Reasons You’re Still Not a Millionaire

January 11, 2022

Every single year you’re chasing the bag, but where are the millions in your account? While we understand that  you deserve that baby boy/baby girl lifestyle on a yacht in Dubai, we’re pretty sure at least one of these eight things have hooked your millionaire lifestyle somewhere. 

1. African Mothers

If you said no every time your mother said, “Come now, let me keep it for you,” we could have been on the Forbes list. You may have chopped slap or ended up homeless, but at least you would have kept the money for yourself.

2. Data and airtime

Everyday 1k here 2k here. Just hold your calculator and add up everything you’ve spent this week alone on data or airtime, that’s where the millions have been hiding in your life.

3. You missed the dip

When your mates were investing in crypto you were there explaining how everything is a scam and how you don’t believe in free money. Well, it’s another day of hardwork o, where are the millions?

4. Last borns

All they know how to do is beg, blackmail, enjoy your hard earned money buying rubbish, while disrespecting us. These are the thieves in our lives and they need to be destroyed.

5. You’ve refused to be a sugar baby

You’re forming, “I can’t, I can’t.” My dear, that’s why your account can’t as well. Nobody can shame the shameless on these streets. Better come outside and collect this money with your full chest.

6. Baba Dudu and Goody Goody

You may have been competing with Dangote if you didn’t spend all the five-five naira you received on sweets as a child. 

Its another day without the millions you deserve in your account and here are the ten reasons why. Tag someone that's on this table as well.

7. Your father

Where was he when his mates were chopping from the national cake? Just go and ask him, then fight for your inheritance.

8. Your village people are alive and well

May your destiny be released from the clutches of the people that have said no to the millions in your life. You can connect with Mummy G.O. for more results.

9. No savings to your name

Your response to everything is, “I only live once. if I perish, I perish.” I hope you can see the single digits in your bank account. My only advice is for you to buy those wooden kolos that only carpenters can open for you.

10. Love

Your millions have entered a well at this point, and I don’t know if we can find it again. If you’re not going to eat at one fancy restaurant, you’re out on the streets professing  love with gifts. I’m sure you’ve even booked your date for Valentine’s day. Continue.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Inside Life

September 23, 2022

We know some of these plots happen in real life, but we’re tired of seeing them in Nollywood movies. At this point, once you see some signs, it becomes very easy to predict how the movie would end. Please, what happened to suspense in our movies?

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X