Yoruba Men Are My Kryptonite

September 28, 2020

Dating a Yoruba man is something most people do to build character. Some consider this extreme sport as a cry for help and a means of inflicting self-harm. From the Tundes to the Femis, Yoruba men will leave you wishing you chose a life of celibacy. Today, I spoke to a 25-year-old lady who has been in 6 awful relationships, dated only Yoruba men and considers them her Kryptonite.

Man No. 1

I was 16 years old when I started dating guy number 1. He was twice as old as me if not older and kept pressuring me to have sex with him. This man was already talking about getting married and settling down with me but the whole thing was just off. I had just graduated from secondary school and now that I think of it, he was definitely a predator. I turned him down every time he asked for sex and broke things off when I found out he was 2 years older than my stepmother. We only dated for 6 months.

Man No. 2

When I realised that man number 1 was weird, I ghosted. I started talking a certain neighbour of mine who lived in the next street. He was 7 years older than I was, a med student as at the time and the first man I ever slept with. We dated for a while but it was on and off before we drifted apart. In the second year, we were only seeing each other once a year and things only got worse after I left my city to another state for schooling. 

Man No. 3

Shortly after I moved to a new state, guy number 2 stopped talking to me. We were still in a relationship but not really. I met guy number 3, he was such a lovely man. We started talking and one thing led to another and we had sex. Problem is, I got pregnant. I had just turned 18 and I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Deep down, I knew my life was going to be over if I kept the baby so I had an abortion. I didn’t tell anyone until after.

Man No. 4

 This was my serious relationship. I met guy number 4 in my school. He was a lecturer for one of the general courses. This was one of the youngest I’ve dated as he was just 2 years older than me. He was fresh out of NYSC and this was his first job. I found him intriguing. We didn’t do anything until he left school, after which, we started dating.

Our sex was phenomenal, he is the best sex I’ve ever had till date. However, the downside to him was that he was very manipulative, hot-tempered and he physically abused me. In the course of the relationship, he hit me about 4 times. 

The first time he hit me, we had a fight and he beat me up. Omo, I left his house. This guy came to my house begging and crying. Also, he was fond of randomly breaking up with me every time we had a disagreement. I would want to talk thing out but he would act like his mind was made up.

One time, I travelled to see my dad and he broke up with me. I took the next bus to Lagos to see him. I got to Lagos in the night and this guy left me outside his house until 3:00 am. That night we fought and he beat me up, I decided to just break things off. This was actually the second instance he hit me. 

The fourth and last time he hit me, I smashed everything in his house. 

My sisters were the only ones who knew he was abusive and they made sure I cut him off entirely. I was a little reluctant cause this was my first serious relationship and my family knew him and I loved him so much. In the end, I knew it wasn’t worth risking my life for. By the time he came begging again, I had already moved on from him. I was 21- 23 years old when I dated him.

Man No. 5 

I met guy number 5 during my NYSC days. It was just 2 months after breaking things off with guy number 4. Funny enough, I don’t think he was a rebound. He came into my life when I needed someone. I didn’t think I was going to find love after guy number 4. 

The relationship was very blissful but I grew suspicious of him. My instincts felt a bit off about him. I asked if he was in a relationship and he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend. My suspicion grew whenever I was at his place because he would enter one of the rooms and be making calls. It felt like he was always hiding. 

He didn’t let me follow him on social media so I decided to create an Instagram burner account to stalk him. That was how I found out he had a serious girlfriend. I met him in June. In July, he had his wedding introduction. It was on a Saturday, that Monday, he was with me. I didn’t even do all this research until December. 

When I confronted him, he told me he didn’t lie to me, he just withheld information. 

In January he told me he was getting married. By April, he got married. When I wanted to leave but he started weeping and begging and I really loved him. I don’t think I’ve loved anyone as much as I’ve loved this man. I agreed to stay with him. Four-month after he got married, we were still dating, it became exhausting so I ended things.  

I still follow him and his wife on my burner to date.

Man No. 6

I met guy number 6 when he was a corper with me in NYSC. We hit things off and started dating. Thing is, guy number 5 came into the picture again and I couldn’t resist him so we started hanging out and having sex again. I have ended things with him for good. However, guy number 6 is non-commital to our relationship and it’s just off-putting. We live 20 minutes away from each other but since the lockdown, we’ve only seen each other 4 times. I plan on breaking up with him this week. 

Recommended: Important Things You Should Know Before Dating Yoruba Men

Eris Ekanem

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