Recently, American actress Gabrielle Union and her husband became the subject of multiple internet think pieces after she revealed they take a 50/50 approach to their finances as a married couple.
Considering Nigeria’s mainly patriarchial society that still pushes the male-head-of-household mantra, I reached out to married Nigerian women to confirm whether there are Nigerian homes that employ the 50/50 approach to finances, too. It turns out, there are.
“At least, nobody can call me a burden” — Tola*, 33
I got married immediately after graduating from the university in 2015. I didn’t have a job, but he made enough money for both of us. He never complained about it, and I didn’t think getting a job was necessary. When we had twins in 2017, he began to murmur about expenses. One day, I asked him for money for a friend’s asoebi, and he said, “Do you want to kill me with demands?” I reported him to an older friend who told me to get something to do if I didn’t want my husband to develop hypertension.
When my children turned six months, I told my husband I wanted to find a job. He agreed, and luckily, I found a job quickly and got my sister to live with us and help out with the kids. Now, I give him half of my salary immediately it enters and still buy things in the house. My family usually says, “Isn’t your husband supposed to be taking care of you?” I don’t care. At least nobody can call me a burden.
“It just works” — Precious*, 29
My husband and I have a joint account, (separate from our personal accounts), where we send half of our salaries at the end of every month. It’s money from this account we use to sort out household expenses. We’ve done that for two years now, and it works for us. When money in the joint account isn’t sufficient for a particular expense, my husband makes up the difference.
“It’s my way of showing support” — Lolade*, 27
My husband and I have always gone 50/50, even before marriage. We’d go 50/50 for major dates and did the same for our wedding. Now, he handles household expenses like rent, fuel and major home repairs, while I handle groceries, data and Netflix bills, and little needs. When we have kids, we’ll also figure out a way to split. I earn more than he does, so it’s my way of showing support.
“It’s quite tough” — Mimi*, 36
My husband is really conservative. If not for the state of the nation, he wouldn’t even allow me to work at all. He got me a clothes retail shop some years ago on the condition that I’d use my income to support the home. It started out well, but recently, I’ve had to take up almost 70% of the household expenses, including the children’s school fees. He’s usually owed salaries at his workplace, so most times, we have to borrow from my business. This money hardly gets refunded. It’s quite tough because I have zero savings, and I can’t even complain because it’d seem like I’m being disrespectful.
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“We only go 50/50 on rent” — Nana*, 28
When we decided to move to Lekki to be closer to work in 2021, we agreed that we’d have to split the ₦3m rent because neither of us could afford it alone. That’s the only thing we split 50/50. For other household expenses, we just attend to them as they come. He can buy foodstuff at the supermarket on his way home today, and I can remember we need engine oil when I step out tomorrow and just buy it.
“It’s not a rigid arrangement” — Chinny*, 30
My husband and I each earn below ₦100k per month, and we know it’s impossible to have an average standard of living if we rely on only one person’s salary. So, we pool half of our resources together to settle the bills and school fees of our two kids. It’s not a rigid arrangement. Some months, I may take up 70% of the expenses, and other times it’s 40%. We just do whatever we can to survive.
“It sometimes feels unfair” — Glory*, 31
My husband and I decided to go 50/50 when I got a job that paid more than his in 2021, but it sometimes feels unfair. I only agreed to go 50/50 when money started being an issue in the house. He felt I had money but was comfortable with him being broke, so I agreed to the arrangement to let peace reign. His idea of 50/50 doesn’t apply to household chores. I still do everything in the home. I’ve brought this up a number of times, but he takes it to mean I want to start ordering him around because I have money. If I can support him with the finances, why can’t he support me with chores?
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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