If you wrote common entrance examinations and attended secondary school in Nigeria, then this would definitely have been you and trouble back in the day.

If you weren’t sneaking your phone into class, or stabbing classes and getting caught, you were getting into some dumb thing or the other. But what were the dumbest thing you got into trouble for?

Because my mother reads all my articles, I can safely say that I was a model student that founded a church in a school and somehow managed to win the award for ‘Most Outstanding Teacher’ as student in Js 2.

But not these guys, we convinced 4 people to tell us the dumbest things they got into trouble and their stories? oh boy.

Ademide started a ‘tabon’ book.

So back when I was in school, nobody sent me work but I appointed myself the class clown. I was always making jokes and side-comments while classes were going on, that kind of thing. Anyway, one day something whispered in my ears to start a ‘tabon book’ for teachers. And if you don’t know what that is, thank you for making me feel like I’m 72.

My tabon book had all the you know, grammatical mistakes teachers make in class: “when did she left?”, “who is around when it happened”, you get.

So, one day, after my book was like half-way full, a teacher caught me writing in it and the beating I took? I still don’t know I can walk till today.

Omotoke fired banger inside the school premises.

Nobody should ask me why I did it. It was something to be done, so there. Shout out to the girls in my set sha. I threw that banger around 9 PM when everyone was in their dorm and it was super quiet. Our headmistress called everybody in my dorm to her house and we all served punishment until like 1 AM, nobody snitched. I didn’t try it again after though.

Victor … existed in school?

See, you’ll ask some people what they got into trouble for and you’ll definitely get answers like they cheated in a test or they stabbed class or they broke chemistry sets. In my school, just be alive, punishment is waiting for you.

I attended a military school and soldiers would just find the dumbest things to punish us for when they were bored. True story too. One day I wasn’t walking fast enough for a soldier’s liking, so they I had to roll laps on the grass to teach me a lesson. God forbid oppression like that for my children.

Tomisin wrote a love letter

… To a teacher’s daughter.

In my defence, she was so fine! I think her mom was upset because I mentioned ‘love’, but I was like thirteen when I wrote it, what did I know?

You would think a love letter is a small thing, but no oh I was resuming inside her mom’s staff room every day to serve punishment. Block me back Demidun!


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.