If you ever get stopped from entering the kingdom of heaven we are here to tell you that the number one reason would be because of all the lies you told yourself and your parents in Uni. And if you didn’t tell yourself any of these lies, are you sure you passed through Uni?

That you were going to graduate with a first class and make you and your parents proud.

Even after your CGPA hit 1.5 you were still lying to yourself.

Asked your parents for money for books or handouts that didn’t exist.

“Daddy, they said we should buy this 5k handout if not we won’t write exam”. Sound familiar?

That you will still be able to pass that test even if you just start reading for it the night before.

You’ll now start trying to read for the whole course overnight. Who overnight don epp?

Told a lecturer that your aunty, uncle, grandma or grandpa died that’s why you couldn’t do your assignment.

Do you even have the fear of God?

Told your parents that you are doing very well in school.

When you knew you had three carryovers.

That you’ll start reading for your exams before the timetable comes out.

Two weeks after it comes out you’ll still be going up and down looking for handout to photocopy.

That you’d revise what you had learned after every class.

Did you even go for the classes?

That once you enter Uni you’ll party until you drop.

Instead, you spent all your time, eating, sleeping and lying to your lecturers about why you didn’t do your assignment.

At the beginning of every semester you’ll tell yourself that it’s the semester you were going to work hard to get your 5.0 GP

But you won’t go to class or do any of your assignments.

That even though you came back from the club at 5a.m you’ll still go for that 8 a.m class.

If you actually made it for those classes you are the real MVP.

Lied to your parents when you failed a course that it was the whole class that failed because the lecturer is wicked.

When you know you are the only one who carried over the course in your class.

Told your parents that you got admission to study Medicine when it’s Microbiology they gave you.

You’ll now start lying to yourself that you’ll get a 5.0 CGPA and change to Medicine.

That studying in your room was better than studying in the library. That the library was distracting.

5 minutes into your so-called studying in your room you would have slept.

That you won’t go out on a Friday night even though all your friends are going out.

Next thing you know it’s 3 am and you are in the middle of a club giving them shaku shaku.

What else did you guys lie about in Uni?


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.