Thinking Of Wilding Out This Salary Weekend? Let’s Talk.


May 31, 2019

If you still have at least half of your salary intact from last week’s alert, then first, let me say I’m proud of you; second, let me help you stretch it.

Being Friday, you might be tempted to engage in a little of the YOLO fantasy and spend what’s left of your monthly rent contribution on a little weekend hijinks, but I’m here to tell you to calm down.

To help make sure you don’t make last month’s mistakes that saw you counting down the seconds till the next payday, here are a few money-saving steps to take:

1. Stay in your house.

The work you did day in and out this week is more than enough action. Do you really need to be up past 10pm practising your turbulent zanku after 10pm? Because your account is full today, doesn’t mean come June 14th, you won’t be regretting the 5k you spent on pepper soup and smirnoff after swallowing disappointment for the third time that week. Even the Lord rested Tunde, even the Lord rested. (Cat gif saying stop)

2. If you must, eat before you go out.

Ever noticed how your cravings get real expensive once your salary hits, well not tonight. This time, you’re going to stuff yourself with the rice and egusi at home before even thinking of smelling that Uber to the Island. Will there be temptation to order a whole fish and some Henny on the rocks, when you just levelled a half-derica of rice by yourself back home? I think not.

3. Be like this guy

Yes, this might look a little disgusting, but do you want to save money or not? Make sure not to mix drinks. We don’t want you spending money on painkillers now do we?

Extra pro-tip: attach to one of those tables with big spenders, they won’t notice if a bottle or 3 go missing. You’re welcome! 😉

4.Or, or, you could do away with clubs and stick to Isi-ewu joints that won’t gate you.

Now if you insist on heading out, may we suggest a deviation from loud and crowded clubs, to well-spaced isi-ewu joints that will feed you and even provide musicians to sing your name and praises. Best part? You won’t spend   ₦ 5000 trying to get measly chicken and chips at the club or 40k on a bottle of Ciroc. With about  ₦ 3000 max, you can chop like king and even feel like one, Again, you’re welcome.

5.Take your friends along.

Now, to save some money this month, I need you to make like Liverpool and never walk alone. Make sure to invite all your friends to split that Uber. A 40k bottle of Henny doesn’t seem so bad if 19 of your closest friends and family share in it. Plus, you get the added benefit of (crowded) camaraderie.

5. ‘Forget’ your wallet at home.

Now, this might not always work, just ask my now ex- friend Jolaade. Ever had that friend that magically lost their wallets soon as it came time to pay? Then never quite got round to sorting the bill for the appetizer, main meal and desert they skimped out on… well, that can be you.

Side-effects include mass unfriending you and some blocking on all social media, but hey, at least you’d have saved some money.

Which of our wonderful tips will you be adopting to save your salary this weekend?


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