As many of you know and as some of you can attest through the sweat that soaked through your baffs on the way to work, the Lagos State government has banned bikes/Okadas and Napeps/tricycles from plying major roads in the state.

Now it might not feel like it, but bike men/keke napeps drivers should feel a little special. With the many problems plaguing the state, which include but are not limited to: epileptic power supply, security challenges, poor water supply, a police force in need of reform, poor building structures and planning etc — the government handpicked the one thing that made life just a bit easier for the little guy and took it away. IDK, it’s kind of special to me.

Now the government will attempt to sell you some dream about the okada ban being part of some megacity audio plan we’ve been hearing about, but never quite seeing. Brethren, I am here to tell you, none of it is true.

The real reasons are a lot less (or more) complicated, depending on how you look at it. Here are the real reasons the Lagos State government banned okadas and keke napeps:

The bike ban happened because ‘they’ want to bring Ambode back.

So if everybody hates Sanwo-Olu for this ban nonsense, they can just slip him right in and nobody go vex.

Re: Ambode. The ban is payback for all the waist trainer jokes

Next time keep your jokes to yourself.

To make horses great again.

The yee-haw agenda begins again.

Okay wait. What if the ban is because the government wants us to be fit?

Yeah no. That would imply they actually care about us and we all know that’s a lie.

Trekking practice for the Lagos State marathon, perhaps?

I mean, could it be?

Maybe the government was jealous of how well the bike-hailing services were doing?

It really be your own government.

The ban is because the government wants to know our threshold.

They’re just trying to see what will finally get us up in arms against them. Will this be it?

Or, the ban is because the government doesn’t give AF about how easily we transport ourselves.

See, we actually tried to imagine a scenario where the bike ban was actually because the State government had revolutionary plans for our transport systems and —

Adding 65 new buses and some ferries is laughable at the least and downright crazy at the most to ease the traffic situation in a state with poorly motorable roads and a large population living within the urban areas not accessible by water.

Anyway, we probably missed some reasons for the ban, let us know in the comments.


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