You’ll never be exposed to a crowd of people as diverse as those you’ll meet in NYSC camp. Although the living conditions are appalling these people almost make the whole experience worth it.

There are the ones who just came back from the overseas and will start stressing everybody with ‘that’s not how we did thing in the States’ and accent.

Even the ones who went to Cotonou will have British accent.

There are the ones who were only interested in getting exeat so that they could go home.

They didn’t come to suffer with you commoners.

The ones who just came to drink their destinies away at mammy market.

But on a serious note, they might have actually needed professional help.

Then there were the ones who belonged to the school of hard knacks and only came to have as much sex as they could.

It’s just three weeks, it’s that how the konji is doing you?

The ITKs that were always volunteering for everything.

They didn’t rest until they became platoon leader.

The ‘do you know who my father is’ people?

If you don’t geddifok out of here.

The ones who were somehow so excited to be in camp.

Have you seen the toilets? What’s making you happy?

We can’t leave out all those promise and fail soldiers.

The ones that’ll tell you don’t worry if you march well you’ll get posted to the capital and you ended up getting posted to a village without light.

The ones who were only there for the food.

All the food sellers at mammy market knew them.

The ones you are pretty sure were old enough to have been in the first ever batch of NYSC.

They might have even been your father’s age mate.

The ones whose life mission was to never step foot on the parade ground.

They did whatever it took and were always in the clinic.

There was the friendly soldier everyone liked.

They didn’t have any wahala.

And the one who was only interested in making people miserable.

But who offended you?

The ones who came to camp to find love.

And they found it o.

The ones who secured their exeat with doctor’s report as soon as they stepped foot into the camp.

Only you asthma, cancer, bronchitis and HIV. Take your wahala and go.

So who did we leave out and which one were you?



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.