After two days of suffering through hours and hours of the soporific reeling out of election results, Muhammadu Buhari finally emerged victorious as Nigeria’s president.
This means he now has four years to make strides in education, power generation, corruption, the economy and pretty much every sector of the Nigerian state that needs help i.e all of them.
But that’s for him. What are your next moves as a Nigerian now that Buhari has won the elections? Try these on for size:
As a lawyer, now is the time to brush up on your Civil Litigation, it’s election petition season!!!
If you aren’t already one, now is the time to tight any SAN you know to your chest, don’t say we don’t give you the best advice.
If you were an opposition politician, I’m going to need you to put on your most subservient smile, and pucker up because you’re about to kiss a lot of behinds, it’s cross-carpeting time!!!
And it doesn’t matter if you called the President names or insulted the party you’re about to join. You should know all sins are forgiven soon as you join the APC.
Now, not to alarm you or anything, but if you have any naira you’ve been hiding under your bed, now is the time to change it to Dollars.
That’s because it is very likely the Naira falls to ₦400 against the Dollar, by the end of 2019 when investors retreat from emerging and frontier markets.
So get to stepping.
Please and please, if you’re excited Buhari won, or still fuming that your candidate didn’t, don’t do anything rash like naming your dog after him.
Remember what happened to the last guy that did that? Don’t let that be your story.
Best to love/hate from outside the club, than inside Kiri-Kiri.
And remember, if you want to know how the economy is doing, or how the country is faring generally, Google it.
Don’t expect any addresses from the President. There’s no election to put on a show for anymore, so that’s that.
Watch the past addresses if you start to miss his Northern lilt.
Also, if the President’s many travels upset you before, just ready your mind to unlook anything that he takes our eyes to see this year, okay?
You think it’s beans he has gone months without a long stretch in the abroad? Sometimes your country gives you bad vibes and you have to escape it.
You understand, don’t you?
It be like that sometimes.
And remember, if you were used to wilding out and eating 2 pieces of meat before, cut that down if you know what’s best for you.
This administration is bent on having people live within their means. And what’s better than living within your means? surviving below it.
I’ll let you decide.
Lest I forget, your wisest move with Buhari emerging president is to get — and I can’t stress this enough — your Canadian visa on lock.
Doesn’t even have a lot to do with the Presidency, I just want to see your skin flourishing in a country that actually works. Plus, the weather’s decent.