Have you ever been served food that looks like it was from the bottom of the pot an owambe? Meanwhile, the waiters pass snail, Chinese rice and pepper soup over your head to other guests. How is it that some people get the best food at these parties, but you keep getting one spoon of jollof rice and a hard piece of meat? It’s because everyone else follows our advice but you. Let me help you avoid that at your next owambe.
Become a server
Party servers always hoard the best food for themselves. At the end of the party, you’ll see them eating food that wasn’t even on the menu. Become a server, and you’ll have extra food to take home sef.
Pretend to be a server
If you can’t get the catering company to hire you days before the event, don’t panic. Just pretend you’re one. Get there while the caterer is setting up and steal somebody’s uniform. The owambe chaos will be too much for the caterer to even notice you’re not one of their people.
Know the person in charge of the food
You have to do your research to find out the names of at least five big aunties related to the hosts’ family. Trace them and befriend them. This is a lot of work for food you’re going to poop out sha.
Pretend to be the person in charge
Just walk around and start giving orders to the people serving food. Tell them who to serve to, and make sure they start with your table. If they ask who you are, just give them one serious traditional name and say you’re the person in charge.
Have the family aso ebi
Wearing the aso ebi for immediate family members gives you privileges like getting served the best food. I don’t know how you want to get the family aso ebi sha. Good luck with that.
Befriend an usher
Become good friends with one of the ushers and they’ll place you on the best table and make sure food gets to you.
Sit in front
The people at the front are the ones who get the best available food. Get to the party early, and sit in front. If they say it’s reserved for someone, say you’re that person.
Impersonate a family member
Say you’re one of the immediate family members of the host. If mother or father doesn’t work because you look too young, say you’re a sibling.