How to Stop Yourself from Turning Eba at Midnight

October 5, 2022

You’ve done it again. You’ve caught yourself making food when children of God should be sleeping. And you promised you’d stop o. 

Don’t worry; it’s not by your power or might. It’s only Zikoko that can help you. 

Throw away all your food by 9 p.m.

At the end of the day, it’s someone that has food that’ll catch themselves in the kitchen making a “light” midnight snack. 

Make this your life policy: Once, it’s 9 p.m. throw out all the food you have. It doesn’t matter that your mum cooked your favourite soup and packed it in 10 bowls. If you can’t finish it in an entire day, that’s your business. 

Tie yourself to your bed

Or have someone — even if it’s your sleep paralysis demon — hold you down throughout the night. If you don’t have self-control, someone has to control you. 

Sleep outside

Have someone lock the door from inside the house while you sleep with your dog outside. In two weeks, your brain will reset. We’re talking from experience, trust us.

Staple your mouth shut

We said what we said. Okay, maybe not with an actual stapler, but if we advise you to use tape, you’ll just rip it out and use ogunfe to console yourself. 

Turn eba by 11:59

It’s not midnight until it’s midnight, king. 

Eat in your dream instead

Join a coven. They’ll feed you every night. Who even has money to be cooking every night?


Also read: 5 Nigerians Talk About Being Initiated Into Witchcraft Through Food

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