For Actual Snail Lovers: 7 Tricks to Get Cheap Snail in an Expensive Economy

August 25, 2022

The Big Brother Naija Season 7 host, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu, tweeted a very valid question asking how people are still eating snails in this economy. And we’re here to tell you exactly how to eat snails without breaking the bank.

Pepper is expensive, bring your own

To enjoy the rich and moist flavours of snail, you need to pair it with pepper sauce; it’s best served hot and spicey. So bring the pepper from your house and maybe the chef will reduce the price. But I can’t say eating them raw doesn’t bang as well.

Start catching them yourself

If you think the price of snails is too much, you need to start catching your own. You and the chef will have a feast because who doesn’t want free snails? So the more of them you find, the merrier.

Ask them to serve you with the shell

You know cracking off the shell of a snail is not like breaking open an egg, right? It’s time-consuming and you’ll almost always end up with a cut from trying to get it off. I’d say the solution is for restaurants to start serving the snails with their shells on. You can’t deny that there’s some appeal to the stress of finally stripping off a hard shell.

Quit your job and become a snail farmer

Snails are easier to find during the rainy season, so restaurants charge that much because they’re seasonal. So what you can do is quit your job and become a snail farmer. Harvest as many as you can and start a supply chain. 

Find a 30+ man that loves local bars and beer

Snails are expensive because 30+ men love to order them with beer while watching football at their local bars. So to find cheap snails, I’ll advise you to start going to local bars and attach yourself to 30+ snail lovers. Avoid Manchester United fans sha, they don’t have any joy.

RELATED: 8 Things That Taste Better When They’re Free

Offer to help the chef clean it

Another stressful step to prepping snails is getting rid of that sliminess. You can offer your expertise to local restaurants and offer to clean them. Preferably after they’ve at least been steamed.

Just make more money

Snail is not a local champion and probably deserves the hype it’s getting. In France, they’re called escargots and 6 – 12 pieces can cost between $15 – $50 (₦6k – ₦21k). So as you can see, snail is a world-class dish and not for the poor. 

If you read this article with any other thing in mind, I’ll advise you to check yourself.

ALSO READ: The Chopists Guide To Getting Free Food

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