4 Things To Do With White Rice When You Don’t Have Stew

August 16, 2020

There’s always Rice at home, but is there always stew? No. We profile 4 things you can do with white rice when you don’t have stew or whatever you eat your rice with.

1. Throw It Away

Look, just throw it away man. It’s not useful.

2. Add Rat Poison and Feed It To Rats

Mix it with poison and feed it to rats. That’s not animal cruelty, is it?

3. Use It To Break Your ‘White’ Fast

If you attend Celestial Church, this works even better. Life na sense.

4. Eat It Like That And Blame Buhari/Osinbajo

If people don’t brush their teeth in the morning nowadays, they blame Buhari and Osinbajo. You sef eat your white rice in peace and blame the APC government. Nothing spoil.

Doyin Olagunju

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Chopist

August 27, 2021

Pepper Soup is a watery dish made in different parts of the world with different techniques and ingredients. Countries and cultures around the world have their different version of it. Peppersoup has a lot of nutritional and health benefits. Nigerian pepper soup comes in different forms. There is the goat meat pepper soup, fish pepper […]

August 27, 2021

It’s safe to say that the one thing all Africans can agree on is that Jollof rice reigns supreme over all foods. This is not to say that other foods are terrible. They’re great. But you see Jollof ehn, it does things to the body. Jollof is the food of the gods. It’s almost perfect. […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X