Odunayo, Author at Zikoko!

1. When you finally see your name on that graduation list.

Amen!!!
2. You, thinking about how you’ll make Nigeria a better place.

All of us went through this.
3. The look of determination on your face, when you still think your 5 year plan will actually take 5 years.

Haha. HAHA!
4. And you’ve told yourself that the least salary you can take is N120,000

I know my value.
5. When your uncle tells you not to worry, that he has a job for you.

This struggle life is not for me.
6. When people talk about how hard life after school is.

Not my portion.
But allovasudden…

7. Your parents stop your pocket money and you have to survive on NYSC’s 19,800.

What is happening?
8. When you find something to make you happy as a young Nigerian. Life:

It’s a constant struggle.
9. When you have the results, but not the connections.

Epp me.
10. When you apply for a job and you’re finally called for an interview.

I’ve been through a lot!
11. And that minimum of N120,000 salary becomes:

Just let me work.
12. Your uncle that promised you a job:

But I thought…
13. When your parents ask you “So what are your plans now?”.

Are you not seeing what Nigeria is doing to me?
14. You wishing you studied Medicine or did a 5 year course so you could’ve stayed in school a bit longer.

This life!
15. When someone asks you about life after school.

Ehn.
16. When you see someone that has an extra year and is still in school.

You are doing the right thing bruh!
17. When your sibling is about to graduate from University too.

NOOOO! DON’T DO IT!!!!
1. When you tell someone you love Nigerian movies and they disapprove.

Sorry oh, I didn’t know your were foreign.
2. When someone criticizes Nigerian movies.

What do you know?
3. You and iRokoTV.

My love.
4. When people are eager to see Game of Thrones but you just want to see what all the AfMags have to offer.

To each their own biko.
5. When you see a ghost making a phone call in a Nigerian movie.

I wouldn’t expect it to be any other way.
6. When someone likes the movie you recommended to them.

You don’t even know!
7. When a Nigerian movie is showing at the cinema.

Take all my money!
8. When the person you love doesn’t share your love of Nollywood.

Who are you?!
9. Waiting for work to be over so that you can get home to African Magic.

I kent wait.
10. hen those you live with want to watch any other channel other than AfMag.

I don’t deserve this.
11. You and your mum to the rest of the family:

I got it from my Mama!
1. When Physics first starts and it was all easy and smooth.

Bahddest!
2. When the results of the first test come out and you’re one of the top scorers.

This science stuff is easy!
3. When the stupid subject suddenly starts getting difficult.

I wasn’t ready!
4. When the teacher actually expects you to make things work during practical.

Am I Einstein?
5. When the teacher calls you out for getting a low score on the test.

What did you expect?!
6. When you’re in SS2 second term and your teacher says your exam scope is from SS1 first term.

Waittt!
7. When someone in Arts class is complaining about a subject.

How dare you?!
8. When your classmate organizes tutorials, but you still don’t understand so he’s just wasting his time.

Thanks for all your efforts.
9. When you teacher starts a calculation and expects you to finish it.

You, do you know it?
10. When you’re getting ready for WAEC but you have to pass Mock exams first.

You mean I have to read twice?
11. When you see Physics is the first subject on the exam timetable.

I’m not ready.
12. How you answer Physics questions.

Don’t ask me.
13. When you see the examination questions, and all you want to do is beg for help.

Ejoor.
14. When all the efikos start submitting their paper but you’re still on number one.

Wait small neowww!
15. When voltage and current mean exactly the same thing to you.

Plis plis.
16. When you enter university to study Microbiology but you still cannot escape Physics.

Let me go nau!
1. When you slide into the DMs of a girl you really like.

Hellurrrr!
2. When someone starts using not-so-coded tweets to say they like you… but you’ve only been on one date.

I’m sorry I don’t know how to read.
3. How she messages you when you are still in the dating phase.

“Before somebody will come and break my head.”
4. When you’re asking one girl out but there’s another girl uploading a pictures of you and her.

Because you can eat gala while beans is on fire.
5. When you guys finally claim each other on social media.

So cute.
6. Two minutes after you claim your girlfriend on social media and she gets a message saying “I come to you as a fellow woman…”

Wait small now.
7. How girls enter your DMs now that they know you are taken.

One after the other please. No need to rush.
8. When people want to start tweeting at your new bae to spill details of your past relationships.

Ahan! Must you talk?!
9. When your girlfriend is on social media…stalking your every move.

If she catches me.
10. How her friends comment on your post when another woman says she misses you.

Hmm. Edible catering!
11. When you do something wrong and you’re still together but she puts up this picture:

HAY GOD!
12. When your girl puts up another guy as her WCW.

I kent unsten.
13. When she likes another guy’s picture.

It didn’t mean anything…
14. When your girlfriend posts subliminal tweets when you guys are in a fight.

Someone cannot even offend again?
15. How you start to slide into someone’s DMs but you realize that she knows your girlfriend.

RETREAT!!!
16. How you handle all the enemies of progress that want to expose you to bae.

How to get away with…
1. When the flight is full and you all start fighting to get on the plane first.

I must enter please.
2. When you enter the plane and the smell of fish hits you.

Don’t they sell fish where you people are going?
3. Nigerians, when the pilot announces that the flight will take off late:

Lol, but you will still wait now?
4. When someone with 6 carry-on bags won’t let you put your own bag in the overhead cabin.

How did you not check those in?
5. When you see your country people taking selfies in the first class compartment then going to sit in the economy class they paid for.

Welcome.
6. When the Nigerian flight attendants starts talking in an accent from a completely different planet.

“Hartenshorn pliz, deezis a bordin hannounzmen for Earo Contractor flai 364 tew Laygorz…”
7. Having Nigerians on a flight and hearing “Do you know who I am?” at least once:

Unfailingly.
8. When someone leads a plane-wide prayer session before take off.

Here too?!
9. When they say put off your phone but there is still that one ‘businessman’ that is still making a call.

Don’t kill all of us please.
10. There will always be those people arguing about football or politics at the back of the plane.

No one cares!
11. When they tell a plane full of Nigerians to put off the lights during a night flight.

We are not children of darkness.
12. When the plane hits a little turbulence.

“Blood of Jesus!!!”
13. Nigerians and waiting for the seatbelt sign to go off before removing their seatbelts:

You people should let us finish landing now!
14. When the plane lands safely and as Nigerians, you cannot help but clap.

YASSS!
15. Pilot: “Please remain seated until the plane stops mov-“. Nigerians:

No time.
16. When the plane lands and everyone is running to the baggage claim/immigration place.

We cannot come and queue forever.
17. Nigerians when it’s time to get their luggage from the overhead cabin:

They don’t even mind climbing over your head.
1. When you entered SS1 and you thought the entire subject was about reproduction.

FINALLY!
2. But then you realized that Biology had more notes than all your other subjects combined.

Unfair.
3. When you’re not even in science class but Biology was still compulsory.

Fix your lives.
4. The struggle to stay awake in class.

Don’t wake me up.
5. When you ran away from sciences because of drawing but you still have to draw stupid fishes in Biology class.

Kuku kill me.
6. When you see “Biology – Double period”.

This is what hell must feel like.
7. When Biology class starts and it suddenly feels like there are 2 hours in one minute.

Who did I offend?
8. How you feel after studying Biology for one term.

Epp me.
9. When you’re looking for the application of Mitosis and Meiosis in Economics or Law or Accounting.

Still can’t find it.
10. When you don’t understand the whole course but it’s not something that someone can explain.

I’m done.
11. How you feel in a Biology Multiple choice exam.

We learnt all these?
12. When you see the future doctors putting Biology on their JAMB form.

Do you, boo!
13. How you look through the subject requirements to gain university admission to make sure Biology is not there.

I don’t want.
14. When someone says Biology is their favorite subject.

Also who asked you?!
15. When you enter the Biology lab and the smell hits you.

You people will die if you spray air freshener?
16. When it’s time for practicals and you cannot remember how to identify anything.

I kent unsten.
17. When it’s time to dissect animals.

Disgusting.
18. When the bell rings and Biology period is over.

Bye.
1. How people see you when you tell them you’re self employed.

Ah my oga!
2. When you tell your parents you’re not looking for a job and you want to work for yourself.

See your life!
3. When you hear people complaining endlessly about their bosses.

Sorry.
4. Then you realize that your employees maybe feel the same way about you.

It cannot be. I’m a great person.
5. How you imagined having a business will be vs. how it really is.

Epp me.
6. When everyone is talking about salary day, but you can’t even pay yourself most times.

Please God!
7. When you hear that a company doing what you do just got investment.

I’m very happy for you.
8. When your relatives ask you “So, when are you getting a real job?”

Leave me alone please!
9. When people ask you what you’re doing on the weekend.

I’m not even crying.
10. When you’re asked to sponsor this or that because you’re a founder, but you can barely sponsor your dinner.

Errm…
11. When your parents start referring your relatives to you for employment.

WHAT?!
12. When Nigeria decides that the best way to reward you is increase fuel prices and exchange rate.

It’s okay…I’m okay…
13. When you start wondering if it’s too late to go for your masters.

But dollar is expensive so…
1. When there’s light and you’re under your duvet getting ready to sleep.

Sleep finna be lit!
2. And your room feels chill because your fan and AC are on at the same time.

As per Captain cold.
3. But as usual being a Nigerian, you can’t have good things.

Hay God!
4. When just you’re about to doze off…

What is happening?!
5. …And NEPA takes light.

WHAT?!
6. When you try to continue sleeping but it’s not happening anymore.

*tears*
7. But you can hear the mosquitoes getting in formation.

God of mercy!
8. And you can feel the AC cold slowly seeping away.

Please come back…
9. When the legion of flying cockroaches are released.

Lord, I commit myself to you.
10. When you hear a sound in the dark but you’re the only one at home.

Blood of Jesus!
11. When you finally sleep drowning in your own sweat.

Water is good.
12. The next morning when someone asks “How was your night?”

Stressing…

1. When you finally see your name on that graduation list.

2. You, thinking about how you’ll make Nigeria a better place.

3. The look of determination on your face, when you still think your 5 year plan will actually take 5 years.

4. And you’ve told yourself that the least salary you can take is N120,000

5. When your uncle tells you not to worry, that he has a job for you.

6. When people talk about how hard life after school is.

But allovasudden…

7. Your parents stop your pocket money and you have to survive on NYSC’s 19,800.

8. When you find something to make you happy as a young Nigerian. Life:

9. When you have the results, but not the connections.

10. When you apply for a job and you’re finally called for an interview.

11. And that minimum of N120,000 salary becomes:

12. Your uncle that promised you a job:

13. When your parents ask you “So what are your plans now?”.

14. You wishing you studied Medicine or did a 5 year course so you could’ve stayed in school a bit longer.

15. When someone asks you about life after school.

16. When you see someone that has an extra year and is still in school.

17. When your sibling is about to graduate from University too.

1. When you tell someone you love Nigerian movies and they disapprove.

2. When someone criticizes Nigerian movies.

3. You and iRokoTV.

4. When people are eager to see Game of Thrones but you just want to see what all the AfMags have to offer.

5. When you see a ghost making a phone call in a Nigerian movie.

6. When someone likes the movie you recommended to them.

7. When a Nigerian movie is showing at the cinema.

8. When the person you love doesn’t share your love of Nollywood.

9. Waiting for work to be over so that you can get home to African Magic.

10. hen those you live with want to watch any other channel other than AfMag.

11. You and your mum to the rest of the family:

1. When Physics first starts and it was all easy and smooth.

2. When the results of the first test come out and you’re one of the top scorers.

3. When the stupid subject suddenly starts getting difficult.

4. When the teacher actually expects you to make things work during practical.

5. When the teacher calls you out for getting a low score on the test.

6. When you’re in SS2 second term and your teacher says your exam scope is from SS1 first term.

7. When someone in Arts class is complaining about a subject.

8. When your classmate organizes tutorials, but you still don’t understand so he’s just wasting his time.

9. When you teacher starts a calculation and expects you to finish it.

10. When you’re getting ready for WAEC but you have to pass Mock exams first.

11. When you see Physics is the first subject on the exam timetable.

12. How you answer Physics questions.

13. When you see the examination questions, and all you want to do is beg for help.

14. When all the efikos start submitting their paper but you’re still on number one.

15. When voltage and current mean exactly the same thing to you.

16. When you enter university to study Microbiology but you still cannot escape Physics.

1. When you slide into the DMs of a girl you really like.

2. When someone starts using not-so-coded tweets to say they like you… but you’ve only been on one date.

3. ​How she messages you when you are still in the dating phase.

4. When you’re asking one girl out but there’s another girl uploading a pictures of you and her.

5. When you guys finally claim each other on social media.

6. Two minutes after you claim your girlfriend on social media and she gets a message saying “I come to you as a fellow woman…”

7. How girls enter your DMs now that they know you are taken.

8. When people want to start tweeting at your new bae to spill details of your past relationships.

9. When your girlfriend is on social media…stalking your every move.

10. How her friends comment on your post when another woman says she misses you.

11. When you do something wrong and you’re still together but she puts up this picture:

12. When your girl puts up another guy as her WCW.

13. When she likes another guy’s picture.

14. When your girlfriend posts subliminal tweets when you guys are in a fight.

15. How you start to slide into someone’s DMs but you realize that she knows your girlfriend.

16. How you handle all the enemies of progress that want to expose you to bae.

1. When the flight is full and you all start fighting to get on the plane first.

2. When you enter the plane and the smell of fish hits you.

3. Nigerians, when the pilot announces that the flight will take off late:

4. When someone with 6 carry-on bags won’t let you put your own bag in the overhead cabin.

5. When you see your country people taking selfies in the first class compartment then going to sit in the economy class they paid for.

6. When the Nigerian flight attendants starts talking in an accent from a completely different planet.

7. Having Nigerians on a flight and hearing “Do you know who I am?” at least once:

8. When someone leads a plane-wide prayer session before take off.

9. When they say put off your phone but there is still that one ‘businessman’ that is still making a call.

10. There will always be those people arguing about football or politics at the back of the plane.

11. When they tell a plane full of Nigerians to put off the lights during a night flight.

12. When the plane hits a little turbulence.

13. ​Nigerians and waiting for the seatbelt sign to go off before removing their seatbelts:

14. When the plane lands safely and as Nigerians, you cannot help but clap.

15. Pilot: “Please remain seated until the plane stops mov-“. Nigerians:

16. When the plane lands and everyone is running to the baggage claim/immigration place.

17. Nigerians when it’s time to get their luggage from the overhead cabin:

1. When you entered SS1 and you thought the entire subject was about reproduction.

2. But then you realized that Biology had more notes than all your other subjects combined.

3. How she messages you when you are still in the dating phase.

13. Nigerians and waiting for the seatbelt sign to go off before removing their seatbelts: