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  • 1. You’ve been counting down to Ramadan all year and you can finally smell it in the air.

    Time to turn a new leaf.

    2. So you go on serious binge eating of all your cravings.

    That shawarma and White House amala won’t eat themselves.

    3. And get your Ramadan stash.

    Man must prepare for the days ahead.

    4. When the moon sighting wahala starts and you’re not even sure when to begin fasting.

    Can we not do this?

    5. So you jejely wait for the moon sighting announcement in Nigeria.

    Sultan of Sokoto, wyd?

    6. And you start blocking all those accounts that make you sin.

    Mufti mode activated.

    7. Including anybody that tweets about anything that looks like food.

    https://twitter.com/NoLaughingMata/status/739424714364473345
    Have you seen their food posts? God!

    8. Realising you can’t have coffee or your usual morning snacks.

    My chest, or rather, my stomach.

    9. But you can’t afford to miss Sahur so you set all the alarms in life.

    My body is ready.

    10. You eat everything you see including anyone that thinks you’re eating too much.

    Food must not waste.

    11. When someone insults your daddy but you can’t slander them.

    The Lord is testing me.

    12. When you realise you can’t blame your sins on shaytan this month.

    Hay God!

    13. When someone says something funny but you can’t be wasting energy for ordinary laughter..

    I’ll laugh when I see food at Iftar.

    14. When that annoying non-Muslim colleague asks why you can’t drink water.

    Just look at this one.

    15. When your body is only half ready for Taraweeh.

    Those long Surahs.

    16. How you wait for Iftar after fasting all day.

    The struggle is real.

    17. Because you’re ready to eat like never before.

    https://twitter.com/CertifiedBaghi/status/611498243852214272
    My phone looks like meat-pie right now.

    18. When you know you’ll have peace of mind for the next 30 days.

    Bye bye, Shaytan!

    19. How the entire Muslim Ummah looks when Ramadan starts.

    All happy and Masha Allah.

  • 1. Your beard is basically a food tray.

    2. This always happens because your beard has a life of its own.

    3. People without connecting beard be like:

    4. You with your beard VS you when you shave your beard.

    https://twitter.com/Datzmenoni/status/847849955838570496

    5. Dealing with oversabi relatives that like to hate on your beard.

    6. When a Nigerian police sights your beard.

    https://twitter.com/femifactor/status/870273362148417536

    7. Guys with connecting beard can’t relate to this.

    8. Nothing truer than this TBH!

    https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/861175987891048452

    9. Stop slapping your boys o!

    https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/854592025773170688

    10. Your WCW is triggered by this tweet.

    https://twitter.com/DeadHyper/status/668627427158065152

    11. This forward-thinking woman.

    https://twitter.com/TheUfuoma_/status/870726696571371520

  • 1. So you decided to join creative gang and become a photographer.

    Because you sef wan enter Bellanaija Weddings.

    2. And that means you have to get a good camera at least.

    People gats take you serious as a professional somebody.

    3. You, when you realize you can’t get a good camera for less than 100k.

    Jesus!

    4. That’s not all o, you’ll have to start googling orisirisi things like ‘exposure’ and ‘ISO’.

    So you thought all you had to do was press one button, LOL!

    5. When you start taking pictures and your clients still end up looking like Baba Suwe.

    Ty Bello glow, where you at now?

    6. So you have to start learning editing with Photoshop and Lightroom.

    Layers and layers of stress!

    7. Next thing your favorite photographer wants N1m for photography workshop.

    Obara Jesus!

    8. But you didn’t learn anything new at the workshop because you’ve seen everything on Youtube.

    Issa scam!

    9. New photographers, when they hear one of TY Bello’s cameras costs over N1M.

    You’re ready to sell your birthright for it!

    10. When you want to work with your fave photographer and he asks you to hold reflector through out.

    And they’ll now tag you as their photography assistant.

    11. You, when someone asks you to do free work for exposure.

    God punish devil o!

    12. When your client uploads your picture with one yeye Instagram filter.

    Ratchet behaviour!

    13. When you finally start getting recognised for your work.

    Oshay!!! Featured image credit: Bayo Omoboriowo

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/gorgeous-pictures-of-nigeria-16017005/

  • 1. When life wants to stress you out.

    2. You, when you finally hit that sugar daddy jackpot.

    https://twitter.com/hvli__/status/868553314065166337

    3. This one is for all the people that lack home training.

    4. A summary of the Nigerian dream.

    5. The perfect response to oversabi people that won’t mind their business.

    https://twitter.com/tamilore_b/status/859107623483867137

    6. When life is coming at you fast but you can’t be bothered.

    https://twitter.com/comedyandtruth/status/858158907163889664

    7. Nigerians can relate to this tweet.

    8. When a poor man is trying to toast you.

    9. You, when your Nigerian parents ask why you’re always broke.

    10. Fine people, every time they see a reflection of themselves.

  • Every now and then ‘Men are scum’ Twitter reminds us of the scummy ways of Nigerian men.

    But when Twitter user, @MsNemah, asked Nigerian men to share their experience with infidelity, the responses were shocking.

    1. This unfortunate story.

    ?? pic.twitter.com/Ch4l8L3FR2

    — Nimah A (@MsNemah) June 6, 2017

    2. This one about the traveling nudes.

    https://twitter.com/LanaAkintola/status/872038280002514944

    3. The very subtle confession.

    4. This one caught his babe leading a double life.

    She had two Instagram accounts. I stumbled on the second one by accident. It was quite revealing

    — Toyan Adeniji-Adele (@adetoyan) June 6, 2017

    5. This one about the community service boyfriend.

    Friend sent his babe cake & wine on Val’s day. Went to her place at night and met her eating the cake & drinking the wine with another dude

    — Sesan Osijo (@Sesanosijo) June 6, 2017

    6. Eh ya! This guy found out he was a side piece by accident.

    7. At least, he got to eat owambe Jollof.

    8. Women are scum sha!

    9. Na wa o! Did the phone not come with a delete button?

    10. Oshey private investigator!

    https://twitter.com/IamPrinceDD/status/871998786960281600

    11. These women are something else sha!

    My friend called her. She couldn’t tell it was he, cos she had lost her phone, didn’t have his number & he sounded like her other boyfriend.

    — Alhaji O’Larrydeen (@Clan_Clueless) June 6, 2017

    12. Wonders shall never end!

    Her sister had to sum up courage to tell me, she was like “Bros they’re lovers” … After my girl told me they cousins, met in NYSC camp

    — #ChangeBeginsWthU&me (@Abdul_A_Bello) June 6, 2017

    13. No fear of God!

    14. Men are scum o!

    https://twitter.com/Ovundar/status/871989990347202562

    15. Hay God!

    I was at her place, a fight broke out btw her n her friends. ..and thats how i found out that she dint go for seminar on vals day.

    — Omololu_Zhurg (@zhurg_) June 6, 2017

    16. This guy is an amebo too sha.

    https://twitter.com/N6OFLIFE/status/871972109559443456

    17. What manner of wickedness?

    18. This guy carried last though.

    19. This one was sharing girlfriend with his oga at the top.

    Want to catch that cheating partner Zikoko-style? Check this next post to find out how.

    https://zikoko.com/list/zikoko-guide-recognise-cheated/
  • In a country where constant electricity and a standard healthcare system – some of the most basic amenities a normal society should have- are extreme, almost unattainable luxuries, you would think the Federal governmenmt would busy itself with trying to make the country at least bearable for its citizens.

    But as Nigerians, this is what our leaders do when they are not launching questionable ‘anti-corruption’ books.

    As if this isn’t shocking enough, the federal government recently complained about the state of social values during yet another anti-corruption themed event in Abuja last week.

    Apparently, they believe gay people, ‘wearing of dreadlocks’, sagging and hair painting are having a negative impact on Nigeria’s social values.

    Speaking at the event organised by the Muslim Media Practitioners of Nigeria, The Director-General of the National Orientation Agency, Dr. Garba Abari, said: “It is pertinent to note that the advent of satellite broadcasting has continued to pose a serious challenge to our traditional culture and religious values and our identity as a people.  Our youths are now being deceived by the international media with values that are at variance with our culture and the teachings of our religion. “The wearing of tattoos, dreadlocks hairstyle, sagging trousers and the painting of hair have become a vogue among our young men and women. “Our youths are now publicly clamoring for the legalization of gay marriage and are about to boldly take the campaign to the hallowed chambers of the National Assembly to press for it as a fundamental human right.”

    But is that the work we sent them? Nigerians are expectedly angry and are raising the points:

    Are gay people and locs the reason why Nigerians don’t have light at home?

    Is fixing our problems instead of doing oversabi too much to ask of our government?

    The government could start another oversabi ‘war against indiscipline’ because #NaTheWorkWeyDemDeyDo

    At this point, one can only hope Nigeria gets the better leaders her hardworking citizens deserve soon enough.

  • 1. When someone stains your white and expects you to not talk because you are fasting.

    “Aunty, you dey fast na’.

    2. Getting your period 10 minutes before Maghrib.

    The fast won’t count because Aunty Flo decided to spoil show.

    3. When your colleagues ask you why you can’t drink water.

    “But water is not food now”

    4. When you attend an Owambe and have to turn down party Jollof.

    You have to pretend it is not chooking you.

    5. When your colleagues start eating their lunch in your presence.

    “I’m not crying, rice enter my eye”.

    6. Waking up late and missing Sahur.

    Because bad things happen to good people and now you have to fast on an empty stomach.

    7. THIS!!!

    Someone will definitely catch these hands.

    8. Hearing the Imam recite ‘Alif Lam Mim’ during’ Taraweeh.

    It is going to be a long night.

    9. When you eat one spoon of rice at Iftar and get full immediately.

    So the hunger pangs were for nothing?

    10. Knowing you can’t blame any of your bad deeds during Ramadan.

    Satan is chilling in hell so you are just a terrible person deep down uno.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/15-things-nigerian-muslims-definitely-tired-hearing/
  • Is your sweet potato pottage even yummy if you didn’t cook it Ilorin-style? We guess not – which is why we’re sharing this delicious, easy-to-prepare original recipe from Kwara, the home of sweet potatoes in Nigeria.

    The ingredients for this meal are:

    1. First, wash and chop all your vegetables. Also, blend the chilli peppers and tomatoes, set this aside and get to cooking your potatoes.

    2. Put the cubed sweet potatoes in a pot then add your shredded fish, crayfish, chopped pepper, onions and meat stock – let this cook on low heat for 25 minutes.

    3. In a separate sauce pan, heat up palm oil and fry the blended pepper mix for 8 minutes. Season the sauce with the most important ingredients of the day- Maggi Crayfish cubes and Maggi star cubes.

    4. Pour the stew into the pot of potatoes, stir properly and mash some of the potatoes to thicken up the pottage.

    5. After tasting for salt, add the spinach and spring onions. Let it cook for 5 minutes and your meal is ready!

    6. Just look at this beauty!

    Want to see how this meal preparation went down? Check out the recipe in the video below:

    If you like Nigerian meals like we do, then be sure to check out Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria.

    Make sure to look out for the ‘Delicious Naija’ show at these times on your TV: 7:30 pm, Friday on Arewa24, 7:30 pm, Saturday on Africa Magic (Family) , 5 pm, Sunday on NTA, OR just watch it online right now!
  • When it comes to adventures, food lovers have the most fun – they get to eat food from different places and manage to stay healthy while at it. This Irish potato pottage recipe, Gwote Dankali,  from the breathtaking city of Jos is definitely one tasty journey foodies like us can’t wait to go on.

    1. To cook this meal, you’ll need:

    2. First, wash and chop all your vegetables before heating up two cooking spoons of vegetable oil in a pot for a few minutes.

    3. Add the ginger, garlic, onions and chicken, fry this until the chicken turns golden brown.

    4. Next, add chicken stock and peppers – cook on low heat for 15 minutes until the chicken becomes tender.

    5. Next, add the potatoes and carrots, leave this to simmer for 20 minutes.

    6. It’s time to add the flour and milk for that thick and creamy consistency.

    7. Finally, add the green peas and the rest of the vegetables to the pot, cover with a tight lid and cook for just 5 minutes.

    8. At this point, your yummy Gwote Dankali is pipping hot and ready to eat!

    Want to see exactly how this dish was made? Watch the recipe with exact measurements in the video below:

    If you love Nigerian food, catch up with the latest episodes of Delicious Naija, from Maggi Nigeria.

     Make sure to look out for the ‘Delicious Naija’ show at these times on your TV:7:30 pm, Friday on Arewa24, 7:30 pm, Saturday on Africa Magic (Family), 5 pm, Sunday on NTA, OR just watch it online right now!
  • When it comes to saving money, Nigerian mothers are the bosses of that! So when Nigerians started sharing the hilarious ways their mothers saved money using #SaveLikeMum on Twitter, we decided to jump on it, as per, carrying last is not our portion.

    1. When the school bus becomes expensive, your Nigerian mum be like:

    Lap yourselves o!

    2. How the toothpaste in your house looks like:

    As per, nothing must waste.

    3. When you tell your mum you want ice-cream.

    Choose one.

    4. You, when she effortlessly prices something from N3,000 to N200.

    Na jazz?

    5. When she cuts your pocket money by half and asks you to share that half with your siblings.

    Na wa o!

    6. When she turns your old bedsheets into curtains.

    Ahn ahn! Mummy sharp guy!

    7. Her idea of ‘turning up on a budget’:

    There is always rice at home.

    8. When you realize you can win 20k for your mom with the #SaveLikeMum Meme Contest on Twitter.

    Yasss!

    This is not a joke! I repeat, this is not banter!

     For a chance to win N20K, follow @myaccessbank on Twitter and share a hilarious #SaveLikeMum caption and meme!