Every three bathroom breaks, Nigerian universities get dragged through the mud on and offline. But are they spitting facts or just dissing? We joined the conversation to uncover the reasons behind all the hate.

I-can-do-and-undo lecturers

Just pray you don’t get in trouble with a lecturer that thinks they’re next after God. They’ll tell you how they taught medicine to Small Doctor; and find a way to keep you in school for the next ten years.

Sex for grades

Why are there so many lecturers who can’t keep their genitals in their pants?

Payola champions

Some lecturers must always collect money for books or department projects from students. Their catch phrase is “I’m not forcing you to buy my book, but if you don’t buy this year, you’ll buy next year”.

When will people stop asking if school’s on break?

It’s painful when you finally realise you’re still fighting for a bus at Unilorin car park when your mates from private unis are already complaining about NYSC PPA or entry-level work stress.

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Student union that’s weaker than spiderweb

Other than appearing at department dinners, they’ve no power to implement change. Also, why is a boomer the leader of the National Association of Nigerian Students?

Every year, school fees hike

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but school management wants you to have it when they want it.

Every morning, database is on 404 Error

One school got hacked several times recently. How long will sensitive data go unprotected? Just hire professionals.

Missing exam scripts

Imagine retaking a six-unit course because your exam script is sleeping under one dusty, heavy shelf in the department, and no one could be bothered to find it. How did it get there in the first place? No one knows.

ALSO READ: Just Imagine: If Nigerian Universities had Honest Slogans

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