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  • The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 25-year-old Nigerian woman who has travelled to over fifteen countries alone. She talks about how this love for travelling started, the way she’s stigmatised at airports and in hotels, and her dream to attend aviation school.

    What was growing up like?

    Life was good until I turned seven. When my parents were together, I travelled abroad every holiday, including Easter and mid-term breaks. I was happy. Our house was always so lively because of the parties we had, and I had a lot of friends.

    However, things changed when my dad started beating my mum. Eventually, he sent her away. It was just me and my dad for a while, until I ran away to be with my mum. 

    Ran away? 

    After my dad sent my mum out of the house, he instructed security to never let her in again. The day I ran, my mum had come to visit me, and when security informed my dad she was around, he ignored them. 

    I remember taking my shoes, sneaking out the back door and running through the compound to the gate. By the time security realised what was happening, I was outside the gate. I hopped into my mum’s car, and she drove off. 

    A few days later, we had to return to pick up my school uniform and some other clothes. 

    Wow. How did your dad feel about you running away?

    He wanted me to come back. He even bribed me with gifts. I would collect them but still not go back to his house. 

    There was a time he sent me to live with his sister in the UK. I wasn’t going to school or anything, just staying with my aunt. Eventually, my mum came to the UK and took me back with her to Nigeria. I don’t know why, but he just wanted to take me away from my mum.  

    I’m not his only child. He has a son with another woman, but we did not grow up together and I barely spent any time with him partly because he is nineteen years older than me. Up until 2014/2015, I told everyone I was an only child. 

    How did your parents eventually settle fighting over you? 

    I made my decision and stopped accepting anything from him. The only thing he did for me was pay my school fees. At a point he even stopped funding my baby girl trips, but my mum did for a while until she couldn’t anymore. 

    What are these baby girl travels and why couldn’t she fund them anymore?

    My baby girl travels are the trips I take out of Nigeria every year. My dad stopped funding them when I was 10 and my mum continued. My mum sold jewellery, clothes and even drinks. 

    Then in 2012, she stopped because the country got worse. Business wasn’t as good anymore, so she couldn’t afford the trips. 

    How did you cope with that? 

    Well, I had just gotten into university and knew I had to continue the lifestyle by myself. I started looking for loans, but nobody wanted to give a broke student money. 

    Growing up, I was usually given expensive things or taken to luxurious places. Once you taste luxury, you would do almost anything to keep it. There are places I can’t eat because I don’t feel comfortable. I never used to eat street food because my mum told me that I would get food poisoning. The first day I tried it in university, I actually did have food poisoning. I only recently started buying roasted corn outside. When I was younger, we used to plant corn and roast on the grill ourselves. 

    When the loans didn’t work out, I started looking for jobs. I reached out to one of my dad’s friends who helped me get a job as a personal assistant to one of his friends. I had to remind him about his meetings and schedule his flights for him.  It was a remote job and he paid me ₦99k a month. 

    Why 99k? Why not 100k? 

    He said 100k was too much money for a young girl, so he removed the 1k. When he relocated to the US, he started paying me in dollars. 

    How long did it take before you could travel again? 

    It took two years before I could go on my next trip. In 2014, I travelled to three different countries in one summer because I asked my aunt for money. Luckily for me, she had enough money to spare, so she agreed. 

    When she asked for the cost of the trip, I increased the price. That’s how I was able to go to London for a week, Dubai for four days, and Paris for two days. 

    E for Enjoyment. Did your aunt keep funding your trips?

    No, she didn’t. I picked up three other jobs as well. The same friend of my dad’s that helped me get the PA job called me up one day and after asking me a few questions, asked for my email address. 

    I lied a bit and claimed I could do some of the things he asked, so I had to do a lot of research on the job. When I checked my email, there was a job waiting for me. The email contained three documents. My job description, payment information and an NDA. 

    What was the job about? 

    If I tell you, I would have to kill you. The second job was because I was recommended by the first company. Both jobs paid in dollars and helped fund my baby girl lifestyle. 

    Where are the places you have travelled to? 

    I go to Abuja steadily. My excuse is to buy kilishi and suya, but it’s actually because I just need to be on a plane. Dubai is my second home, Greece is my third and London is my fourth. I have also been to the US, UAE, France, Russia, Jamaica, Rwanda, Serbia, Italy, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, China, Mexico, Bahamas, South Africa, Kenya, and many more. I love to travel because I love being on planes.

    Are there countries or cities you’ve wanted to travel to but couldn’t? 

    Nope. There are, however, places I want to go but would not want to pay for the trip myself. I want to go to the Maldives or Santorini, but I’m waiting for my next significant other to pay for the trip for me. 

    Another way I’ve been able to travel so much is because the men I have dated usually pay for some of them. The goal is to travel to all the countries in the world. 

    Wow. When did you discover you loved planes so much? 

    One day when I was about five or six, I was on a solo night flight. It was the period my dad sent me to live in the UK with my aunt. Since my mum was not coming with me, I travelled alone. There was a lot of turbulence and people crying, shouting and praying that the plane shouldn’t crash. I wasn’t scared. One of the flight attendants came to sit with me so I wouldn’t be scared, but I told her not to worry and she left.

    The seat belt sign was on, but I took off my seatbelt and started walking around, holding on to chairs the way I saw the flight attendants do. I even went to people crying and tried to calm them down.

    The flight attendant saw me and yelled at me to go back, so I did. When we landed, she asked me why I wasn’t scared  despite all the turbulence. I told her that I felt safe, and I knew planes crashed, but that particular one wouldn’t. I listed all the possible reasons why other planes like it crashed and why the crash rate was so low.  

    She took me to the flight deck and I saw the captain, the first officer and all the buttons. The flight attendant told him what I did, and he made me sit in his chair and put his cap on my head. I cried because I was so happy. At that point, I knew planes were my obsession. 

    That sounds so cool. That means you’ve been travelling alone for a while now. What’s that like?

    Well, people are constantly asking strange questions. 

    At the embassy, they ask how I pay for my trips. Before I divorced my now ex-husband, the process was easier because I’d just say he was the one paying for it. 

    A lot of my flights are paid for by the company I work for, and I usually fly first class or business class. Getting visas that way isn’t really difficult because it’s a work trip. 

    My personal trips are easier because I have a very long travel history that started when I was a child. 

    I never feel safe travelling alone because men have harassed me physically and verbally. They assume I’m a prostitute because I travel alone. At the airport, people call me ashewo. 

    When I check-in at the hotels, the hotel staff ask if I’m expecting anyone else even after I’ve told them I’m travelling alone.

    It’s exhausting.

    It does sound exhausting. I’m so sorry. Now, what’s next for you? 

    I am saving to attend aviation school. It costs about seven million naira, but it is my dream.

    For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here


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  • Travelling by road in Nigeria is a herculean task because of the bad roads, multiple police checkpoints and probable kidnap attempts but what’s travelling by road in Nigeria like for women? I spoke to nine Nigerian women about their experiences, here’s what they had to say: 

    Timinu, 24

    I used to travel by road a lot and I felt safe. I was only scared of road accidents and I’d ease myself by listening to music or reading a book. But now, with all the stories of kidnappings happening in the South West, I am getting increasingly scared. I travelled to Lagos five weeks ago and I haven’t been able to leave because of fear. I don’t want to be a hashtag. 

    Onyinye, 30

    I lived in Delta and schooled in the north so I would travel in a big marcopolo bus with over 40 other people. It was so big that people would buy tickets to stand. It’s a long journey and the drivers try not to stop at night. One time when I was 19, I was making the trip back to school as usual and sometime in the evening, I offered a man that had been standing all through the trip a space to seat. I slept off shortly after. 

    At about 2 am I noticed someone was touching me. I waved it off and slept again but ten minutes later, it happened again. I kept my eyes closed and waited, only to discover that the man I gave a space to sit was touching me. I screamed and guess who got blamed? Me.

    Wumi, 21

    When I was in a long-distance relationship with my partner, I used to travel a lot. I was a student, so I would make the trip after classes. She lived in a state that was quite far from mine. I never felt safe travelling. One time, I woke up to this man rubbing my thighs. I shouted at him and he adjusted. I was really tired so I slept off again. This time, I woke up to him moving my dress up.

    I couldn’t sleep again. There were four other men in the car and I didn’t want to make a fuss so I just sat there feeling violated till the trip ended. Do you know this idiot had the guts to ask for my number? 

    Road travel has made me hate travelling. I’m always anxious and constantly thinking of how to protect myself. There’s also the fact that male passengers can be extremely mean to female passengers for no reason. One time, I was travelling with my sister and the driver stopped so people could ease themselves. My sister went to buy tissue paper first so she took a bit more time than others. One of the male passengers started calling her names and slut-shaming her for wasting time. When I tried to stand up to him, another guy threatened to slap me for talking like that. Another thing is if a woman is complaining about an issue, the men either try to shut her up or ignore what she’s saying until it affects them too. It’s so disgusting. 

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    Ivie, 25

    In December 2016, I travelled to the village for my sister’s traditional wedding. I had to go alone because my parents had left already and my other siblings had work. The journey went on smoothly until I got to my final destination, Aba around 12 am. My sister who was supposed to pick me up couldn’t because the park was too far from her house and it was late. 

    All my family members were worried. My father eventually spoke to the driver who said he’d look after me till the next morning. He gave me a space in his bus to sleep and turned on the air conditioner all night. He even offered me food. I was so scared but nothing bad happened to me.

    The next day, trust men, he asked for my number. I told him to give me his and I never called. When I was going back, I used GIG

    Tare, 21

    In April, I was travelling with two of my friends — a girl and a guy, when police stopped us on the road. They told the guy to come down because he was the only guy in the vehicle. They searched his phone and his luggage. I was worried they’d check my phone next and see all the queer pictures and then they would out me to my parents before extorting me. They let him go but that incident left a scar. 

    Louisa, 23

    My mom, sister and I used to shuffle between Lagos and Anambra or Owerri between 2011 to 2018. My dad had relocated to the East and we always wanted to spend holidays with him. Travelling by road is the ghetto. Paying for 3 flight tickets was expensive, especially around peak periods so we either took a bus or my mum drove. 

    With Public transportation, men disrespected us a lot. We would book a seat and someone else would take it because we are women. I hated having to wear jeans or some other uncomfortable clothing so that if anything happened, I could run easily. Another reason I wore jeans was so that in case anyone tried to rape me, my chances of getting away safely were higher. The disadvantage of wearing jeans is that whenever the bus stops for bathroom breaks it’s a struggle to pee. Those toilets are the fastest places to get infections so you have to do your business outside. This means finding a place by the road that is open but still secluded enough to keep your private parts covered. By the time you’re done, all the men are complaining about how women always take time. 

    Travelling in a private car with my mom driving is a different story. The security personnel on the road stop us and say things like, “Madam this work na oga suppose dey do am.” We would also have to leave late when we are sure there are enough cars on the road and only buy fuel at popular filling stations. Also, motorists get more hostile when they realise it’s a woman behind the steering wheel. 

    Travelling by road is not safe for women either way; not in our private car and definitely not in public transport.

    Dolapo, 25

    I was travelling back to Ife from Ibadan a couple of years ago. I remember being comfortable at the back of the bus as the bus wasn’t full. I was sitting next to a man in his 30s and I had a lot of stuff on my lap that I couldn’t put in the trunk. After about an hour on the bus, I decided to rearrange the things in my lap and what did I find? The man next to me had his left hand in my crotch. Like between my legs. I honestly became paralysed. I was shocked because how the hell did I not notice? I felt like I caused it because I wasn’t vigilant enough — I was too relaxed. I shouted at the man and he started acting like he didn’t know what happened. He said it was a mistake. He came down before I did and apologized again. That made me even more confused because was it really a mistake? I wasn’t alright for days after the incident. 

    Bemigho, 21

    Safety while travelling by road in Nigeria depends on how much you can spend to travel. If I’m not booking a flight to the east, then I’ll just enter one of those private siennas. It’s almost like travelling in your own private car. It is safe and you get space to yourself but that is interstate travel though. I feel safer travelling interstate in Nigeria than just commuting within Lagos. I used to trust Uber or Bolt but even those aren’t safe anymore. Whenever I’m in Lagos, I have a bottle of pepper spray in my bag. If you come close to me try anything funny, I will spray your daddy!  

    Omo, 24

    In 2015, I was returning to Akwa from Lagos. I was only 18 at the time. When we got to Benin, a guy on the bus I boarded asked for my phone to make a call, but I politely declined. He got angry and started shouting at me. I said, “This is my phone, why are you upset?” He started threatening to beat me. He actually tried to hit but I defended myself — thanks to my fingernails, they did a good job on his face. After the fight, he kept threatening me.

    Everyone else kept quiet and pretended they weren’t seeing him harass me. I noticed the guy texted his friends to meet him at Onitsha, that they had something to fix. I got scared and called the driver’s attention to it. That was when everyone started shouting at him and I think it’s because they also felt at risk. 

    Immediately we got to Asaba, the driver stopped at the nearest police checkpoint and handed the guy over to them, that was what saved me that day. 

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  • So you’ve had your visa interview, got your visa and you’re finally about to take that trip you’ve planned for years. But your mom has told you not to tell anyone you’re travelling until you get back. You’re wondering why? We’ll tell you. 

    Your village people don’t want you to travel

    This one goes without saying. If your village people, who hate your family because you’re more successful than them find out you’re traveling, they can easily get you. They’re witches so they’re in the air; you’re in a plane, so it goes without saying that you’re in the air. It’s the best place to get you. All they need to do is make the aircraft develop faults that would lead to a crash. If you’re not going to tell people you’re not travelling, family members top that list.

    “This boy is not going anywhere”

    You’re not Santa Claus

    Traveling to the abroad means you have money. Nigerians don’t want to know otherwise. You’re going there to blow one million dollars everyday so why shouldn’t your family and friends get their share? They’ll disturb you everyday to buy shoes and chocolates for them. And if you say no, you’re proud and evil. Don’t say no, just don’t let anyone know you’re traveling. 

    To Avoid “Whining”

    Okay maybe this isn’t one of your mother’s reasons but it’s a valid reason. Once you mistakenly step inside an airplane, people automatically think you’ve arrived. When they see you, they start calling you “Money man” or “Oga Madam”. When they start using names like that for you, people will think you have money and your helper might think you don’t need their help because you’re already an Oga Madam. You know how Nigerians are. 

    To Avoid Deliveries

    You’re not DHL. It’s when you travel people will begin to remember that they have an uncle in Atlanta that they want to take fish to, and get shoes from. Or that they want to buy Crocs. And they won’t pay for your extra luggage. Let’s be guided please. 

    And if you still go ahead and tell people you’re travelling, after all we’ve done for you, whatever befalls you is your problem not ours. You know what they say about a word? Well, that’s right; it’s enough for the wise.

  • Every week, we ask anonymous people to give us a window into their relationship with the Naira.

    In this story, a man will do anything legal for money. Like, anything.

    Age: 32.

    Industry: Informal

    When did the hustle start for you?

    2005. Inside Main Market, Onitsha. That time, I used to do Striker work–walking around the market and helping people sell clothes. So if they give us cloth for ₦1k, we’ll sell at ₦1,500, and so on.

    I was also born and brought up in Onitsha. My parents are Yoruba, but the way hustle carries everybody, that’s how it carried my parents. My father butchered cows, and mumsy was selling food. That time, I could only speak English and Igbo, no Yoruba or pidgin.

    I still did a lot of other work in Main Market, like picking plastics. By 4pm every day, we’d start going around the market, picking plastics till 7pm. Our pay was ₦15 per kilo, and one bag of plastic used to be like 10kg.

    This was when I just finished SS3.

    My actual plan after secondary school was to be a lawyer. And it really started in my mind then because, whenever people were fighting in school. I was the one that used to resolve it. Also, I really loved Government–especially the parts when they’re talking about our history and past leaders.

    See, the main reason I didn’t push on with my education was because there was no money. What ruined me was I couldn’t afford to pay for WAEC. Ordinary ₦18k. I would have written with 2004/2005 set. Those days, I think I almost went mad on top of this matter.

    So it was when I missed WAEC that year that I entered hustle.

    I sold minerals, pure water. Packed gutter. Packed dustbins. I had hands to pack anything that needed to be packed.

    What was the moment from those days that you can’t forget?

    December 21st, 2007. I used to live with a friend. By this time, my father had already died, and my mother relocated back to Kwara.

    My friend had issues with some guys, and those guys were cultists. Me? I didn’t even need to be a cultist, because everyone respected me.

    Sha, we went to the guys’ place, and that’s how shouting started, and then fighting.

    Later, in the night, my guy was at the junction. Not too long after I told him I was going inside, some men came in a Hummer that night. People who saw the car said it was about 4 guys. They told him to help them locate a place.
    “Come and show us the place na.” That kain thing. When he entered the car, they drove off. And he was gone. Just like that.

    Ehn?

    Ritualists. Sha, three days later, Police came, and the gist was “the last person everybody saw him with was his friend.”

    In fact ehn, the policemen walked up to me and were asking, “we’re looking for so-and-so.” They were asking me about me.

    “He’s not around..” Omo, as they left, I took off. People said if they catch me, it might be death or 25 years in prison.

    So I was hiding from place to place, for two weeks. Whenever I stayed long at one place, the guys there will pursue me saying, “abeg be going before Police will come and pack all of us.”

    Then my older brother just called me one day and said, “You can’t be here, let’s go to Lagos.”

    And so one early morning, before I could even shower or brush my teeth, I was on my way to Asaba. I had only the sweater I was wearing, ₦20 in my pocket, and my phone–a Nokia 1110.

    We took a luxurious bus, standing, to Lagos. ₦600. This was January 2008.

    Mad o.

    You see Lagos? That’s where the real hustle started. We had some family in Lagos, and so when they asked me what I wanted to do, I told them I’d like to learn tailoring. But my uncle had other plans, and that’s how I ended up selling building materials in Mile 12. While I was selling, I started learning how to dismantle things–air-conditioners, freezers.

    I did this until the beginning of 2009.

    The thing about working iron is that, I had to work under sun and rain, doing the hard work of dismantling for scrap. So even though I was making ₦1k to ₦3k per day, I’d work one month, and fall sick the next month.

    So mumsy told me to leave the work. I became jobless for the next 6 months, even though I was constantly looking for work.

    One time, I went to Lagos Island, I saw a sign for a shop that needed a sales boy, selling ceramics and pots. I got the job; ₦15k/month. Sales got bad, and I had to leave. So in the end I stayed there from July till December 2009.

    I was unemployed for another 5 months. Then in May 2010, I started rolling with this guy who was a trailer mechanic.

    I told him straight, “Guy, I’m sure you don’t like how I always ask you for Garri money. I need a job. If you hear of anything, tell me abeg.”

    One week after I told him, he called me around midnight. A driver needed a Motor-boy for his trailer. It was a 40-feet trailer–a CR7 Mack. I took it straight. We were picking containers from Apapa Wharf and delivering around Lagos. He used to pay me ₦5k per trip, and sometimes we did up to 5 trips a month.

    What does a Motor-boy do?

    I wash the trailer, fix the tyres, check engine oil and water levels. Then I also help check my side, for when a driver can change lanes. I tried to get my Oga to teach me how to drive, but he didn’t teach me.

    So one day, I called my friend and said, “oya show me Gear 1.” And I started learning small-small. Not too long after that, they sacked my Oga.

    The next Oga I had was paying me ₦200, while we were making ₦6k a day. But we were working with a Biscuit company, so biscuit was free at the factory. So, I was living on biscuit and water.

    Then I did some work for a man working in the factory, and when he liked what I did, he gave me a job in the factory.

    I started there December 26, 2010. The money they were paying was ₦850 per day, every two weeks. I was at the vehicle loading section, because them see say I get strength. I used to compete with one other guy who was bigger than me, over who will load more trailers. We used to load up to 10 trailers a day.

    Work was 6-6, but loaders used to close late, sometimes up to 11pm.

    So ₦11,900 every two weeks?

    When my first pay came in January, omo, I happy die. I went home and was looking at the money. I was like, what if I spend all this money and I end up not having a job again? So I started trying to save ₦5k every month and eating mostly factory biscuits.

    But the problem I had was that, because of how hard my work was, I was always hungry. So all the money I was trying to save went back into food.

    One day, our boss wanted us to work overtime again. Just after everyone had showered and was ready to leave. It vexed me, because we don’t get paid for working extra. It looked like he didn’t really care about us.

    The next day, one trailer driver asked me if I wanted to be his Motor-boy. At first I didn’t agree, but he told me that he’d treat me well. I accepted.

    Now, this was when I entered the real road life. December 2013.

    One thing I’ll never forget about him is, everything he ate, I ate. Any food he bought for himself, he bought for me.

    After Mile 12 days, this was my highest paying job. My first four days, ₦15k. What we were doing was carrying biscuits from this factory that I just left.

    Not too long after, they sacked my boss. So I had to get another job. The Biscuit factory moved from Apapa to Shagamu, Ogun State, and I was lucky to get another Motor-boy job.

    But I quit that one later.

    Ah, why?

    One day, he went to go and drink and carry Ashawo. When he came back, he forgot that he left someone sleeping under the trailer to secure the trailer battery and fuel tank. This man just drove off, and was already on his way to Lagos when he remembered me.

    Then I got another boss. Really good man. One time someone from his village asked him to come home, he went and never returned.

    I worked with more people, and started to relax more. I used to cry a lot when I worked at the factory but now I wasn’t crying.

    I was now getting up to ₦70k per month. But the problem with trailer life is that you eat a lot. So na food I dey use am buy.

    2015, I made my first trip to the North. We were carrying biscuits across the North; Kaduna, Maiduguri, Gusau.

    Then Zaki Biam–ah, they used to rob too much. Armed robbers with checkpoints and military uniforms.

    Maiduguri in early 2015, we used to see dead bodies on the road to Maiduguri sometimes. One time, we were parked along a highway and this small truck just packed, offloaded rice. Inside bush o.

    Later, another truck came, and there were men. They were wearing military uniforms, and they covered their faces in those turbans and masks?

    Who were they?

    Omo, me I no know o. Sha, After then, we went to Gusau, to pack oranges for offloading at Ore Toll Gate. I never went back to Maiduguri again, but I won’t forget that journey because, when we got to Kogi, my Oga parked the trailer, came down, and told me to enter the driver seat.

    That was the first time I drove my own trailer in my life, and when I got back to Shagamu, I got my first trailer job.

    Mad.

    So when I started, they were paying ₦20k per month. But we don’t really care about the money they pay us. It’s the money we make on the road that’s the koko–up to ₦80k. It was this period I started saving. Also, I now had my own Motor-boy. I made sure I treated him well.

    Nice. How long did you do that for?

    Not long. Kasala burst. I had a small room I rented in Shagamu, and there was someone staying with me. I was in Lagos for a family thing. My room caught fire, burnt my neighbour’s room.

    How did it happen? I had gas cylinder. The person staying with me cooked noodles. And when he finished, instead of turning off the gas, you know what he did? He just poured water on it. Like a Kerosene stove. But the gas was still open of course.

    A few minutes later, he wanted to smoke, and as he used his lighter; GBAO.

    Ah.

    When I got back home, the person I was staying with had run away, but the Landlord was waiting with Police. They collected all my savings, ₦350k, and they came back for more. But when they came, I done ja. This was April 2017.

    I didn’t get another job again for one year. All I was doing was helping people park and shouting twale for change.

    But in July 2018, I finally got my current job, selling grilled catfish.

    Between 2005 and now, how you see life?

    Wait, make I off my cap.

    See, life is hard for a poor man. Even worse for a person without a proper handwork. The worst thing is to not have an education. Life is just really hard. There’s a kind of hunger you have when you have very few options in life. Na that one I get.

    I struggle to sleep because of all the times I was working on trailers. But the struggle continues.

    Only advice my mumsy gives me is, don’t steal. Don’t do rituals.

    Some days, she doesn’t even care whether or not I give her money. All she wants to do is hear my voice.

    I believe one day, it will be well. If na by who work pass, I no fit carry second. I work for what I eat. My own is, I just want to make it before my mother dies. Because after God, she’s next.

    How much is your salary now, and how do you spend it?

    I was collecting ₦20k, but now I’ve started collecting ₦25k. See, my spending is straightforward. I save ₦5k. I send my mum ₦5k. I survived on ₦15k and the tips that people give me when they come to buy fish.

    I save, just in case anything happens, I can have backup.

    How much money is a good salary right now?

    ₦70k, and I go dey okay. I’ve collected this salary before, but trailer job is different. In a trailer job, we spend money as it comes. We collect money, work a lot, and spend a lot. Because it’s physical work. But I’ve seen how I managed with ₦20k, so ₦70k will be enough now. Also, I’ve done all the types of hard, physical work. I can do office work. I can read and write.

    What’s something you want to buy you can’t  afford?

    Right now? Clothes. And paint, because the room I’m staying, the paint done peel.

    What size do you wear?

    Shirt size; Small. Jeans; 29-30. Shoes; 40-41.

    What do you think about when you think about the future?

    Guy, many things. The first thing I want to do is build a house for my mother, I don’t care if I’m living inside one room. When my father died, my spirit could take it. But if my mother dies without me giving her a better life, ah.

    Then I want to build a home for homeless people. Free. This is my biggest dream. Just come and live, then we’ll help you get work, so you can also get work for other people.

    I want to wipe tears. I want to help people forget, and think of bright things.

    Wait, what of that your friend in Onitsha?

    Ah, yes. One time when I was a Motor-boy and we weren’t too far from Onitsha, I told my Oga I wanted to go into Onitsha to visit someone. When I went back to the hood, I heard the good news and bad news.

    He came back. What happened was that, when he entered that Hummer, he said he didn’t remember anything that happened. But when he finally escaped from where they were keeping them–he escaped with someone–he found out that they were in Shagamu.

    The bad news is that, they say when he came back, he moved out of the area not too long after. Nobody knows where he went.

    I’ve never seen him since that December 21st, 2007.

    The end.

    Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people.

    But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else, with extra sauce and ‘deleted scenes’ just subscribe here. It only takes a minute.

  • The visa application struggle is very real with our not-so-much-loved Nigerian passport, and a lot of us have learned that the hard way. However, there are still a few countries that will have us with no hassle! Check out these African countries you can visit visa-free.

    Thank God, sha. We never cast for here.

    1. Cape Verde – West Africa

    A former Portuguese colony, this beautiful island country is located on the West African coast. The official language is Portuguese, and the national language is Kriolu. Cape Verde has amazing weather and is a great choice for a visit.

    2. The Comoro Islands – East Africa

    Comoros is a constellation of islands off the south-east coast of Africa, east of Mozambique and north-west of Madagascar. Although The Comoro Islands is listed as visa-free for Nigerians, we still have to get visas on arrival. Life. There are lots of exciting touristy things you can do on the islands, so you should definitely check it out.

    3. The Gambia – West Africa

    Africa’s smallest country, The Gambia is absolutely beautiful and is known for its diverse ecosystems around the central Gambia River, abundant wildlife, beaches, and so much more. It has it all. Nigerians can visit The Gambia visa-free for up to 90 days.

    4. Ghana – West Africa

    As part of ECOWAS benefits, Nigerians can enter our sister country visa-free, but sometimes, visas may be given on arrival. Ghana is famous for its slave-trade historic artefacts, beautiful beaches and parks, and Shatta Wale lol. You should definitely visit.

    5. Kenya – East Africa

    Kenya is a beautiful country with incredible wildlife. Nigerians can visit for up to 90 days, visa-free. From fun rides through the safari to snorkelling, Kenya is one of Africa’s most impressive vacation locations.

    6. Madagascar – East Africa

    Madagascar is situated off the South East coast of Mozambique and is the world’s 4th largest island. Different species of palm trees surround the waters and you can go swimming or snorkelling in the Indian Ocean. In Madagascar, Nigerians receive visas on arrival.

    7. Chad – Central Africa

    Chad is located in the central African region and is home to a wide variety of wild animals. You can visit Chad visa-free and can pay a visit to the Zakouma National Park which has 44 species of large animals and many species of birds. There are also many interesting sandstone formations.

    8. Mauritania – West Africa

    Mauritania a beautiful desert country situated between Morocco, Mali, Algeria, Senegal, and the sweep of the Atlantic Ocean. On arrival, Nigerians can acquire a visa. You can cross the desert on a camel, or explore Chinguetti, an impressive “Old City”; a crumbling, sandstone village, with various antiquated mosques and a few libraries.

    9. Mauritius – East Africa

    Mauritius is a gorgeous island nation located along the coast of the Indian Ocean, off the southeast coast of Africa. Mauritius is an English/French-speaking country with a tropical climate, clear and warm sea waters and beaches. A perfect romantic getaway spot, you can go snorkelling, swimming or scuba-diving. For 90 days, Nigerians can visit Mauritius visa-free.

    10. Seychelles – East Africa

    Seychelles is located off the coast of East Africa in the Indian Ocean and is bordered by other islands like Zanzibar, Madagascar and Mauritius. The beautiful country of 115 islands boasts of a diverse blend of cultures and has some of the best beaches in the world. It offers Nigerians a visitor’s permit for one month.
  • 1. The Sleepers

    They are the Head Sleepers of the Sleep Society. If you have the slight misfortune of sitting next to them, expect to have your shoulder become their pillow. You should also expect to find their slight spittle mixed lightly with sweat on your clothes.

    2. The Eaters

    If it comes wrapped up in something and sold in trays balanced on heads, these ones are buying. It is not wise to part them from their food. They’re generally the first to ask the driver where he is stopping to eat. Merchandise of choice usually includes but are not limited to; Gala, Chinchin, Akara and Bread, Boiled eggs, Ekpa etc. Consequently, they also will regularly request to relieve themselves on the way.

    3. The Debaters

    For these ones, a journey is always an opportunity to get on the debating stage, and it doesn’t take much to get them rolling. Topics generally include any popular issue. From Daddy Bubu’s frequent holidays to the abroad to whistle-blowing and finding money in strange places. All it takes is the bus bouncing over a small pothole in the road and away they go. But try to steer clear of the general area surrounding their mouths, they tend to be spitters as well. Although, it’s not their fault, all that talking has made their lips numb.

    4. The Cellcoholic *Yes, it is a word

    You can tell them by the earpiece/headset in their ears or the phone pressed tightly to their heads. From personal to business call, they’ll make it all. By the end of the journey you’ll start to feel like you know them better. “Don’t worry Brother Ignatius, the container will come in on time”.

    5. The Assistant Drivers

    As the name implies, they’re the driver’s second-in-command. Usually riding shotgun, or in the row behind the driver, their functions include but are also not limited to; – Helping the driver see sudden, upcoming potholes – Warning the driver of an oncoming trailer – Monitoring the driver’s speed and keeping tabs on fuel level.

    So the next time you’re travelling with public transport in Nigeria, keep watch for these 5 people.

    And if you look closely, you might just realize that one of them is you! Here are five other kinds of people you’ll always find in any group setting.
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  • 1. You will not be told you’re travelling until the last minute.

    I can’t have plans, abi?

    2. They will wait till the tickets are at their most expensive before booking.

    Then spend forever complaining.

    3. You must not tell ANYBODY that you’re travelling.

    Especially your relatives.

    4. You become their house-help the night before the flight.

    You will pack for Africa.

    5. Their whole suitcase is for them. Half of your suitcase is also for them.

    “My bag is full, help me put this thing in your bag.”

    6. You are going to carry more food than clothes.

    Especially stockfish.

    7. Half of the things they’re making you pack are not even for your family.

    Relatives and friends have hand inside that luggage.

    8. They will make you dress like you’re going for a party.

    Can I just wear shorts and be great?

    9. You must go to the airport at least 4 hours before the departure time.

    You will be at the airport longer than the plane sef.

    10. They’re not paying anyone at the airport to help with all the bags, that’s why you are there.

    Oya, carry them.

    11. Excess luggage is their right and their’s alone.

    Don’t even think of carrying extra unless you have the money.

    12. You become the parent to all your other siblings.

    STRESS!

    13. They must start gisting with the first Nigerian family they meet there.

    Ugh!
  • You travelled for business? Pleasure? It doesn’t quite matter which. All that matters is that you temporarily escaped the mad house of your beloved Nigeria.  Temporarily. And now, it is finally time to go back. Long sigh.  We know exactly how you feel. Because every time you’ve had to go back, you are like:

    1. Kai, it’s time to go already?

    Abroad, I’m gonna miss you.

    2. You are already thinking about your next trip.

    3. Then you spy all those Nigerians at the boarding gate…

    Supporters club of life and destiny.

    4. And you’re real happy to hear folk speaking a familiar language.

    Doesn’t matter if you are Yoruba and they are speaking Tiv, Naija knows Naija.

    5. Until the familiar Nigerian energy starts making you tired inside.

    Nigerian reiatsu is on permanent Bankai.

    6. And when one of them inevitably begins to mix it up with the flight officials, you are like..

    7. Because, right now…

    8. But when you run into the Nigerian celebrity who’s traveling back on the same flight as you, you remember your roots once more.

    No one is above famzing.

    9. That time when the plane touched down in Lagos, and everyone clapped for the pilot.

    Jesus took the wheel.

    10. When your luggage that is filled with abroad shopping appears not to be coming onto the conveyor belt in baggage claim.

    Blood of Jesus!

    11. Praying in tongues so the customs people don’t check your bags and discover all the shopping you brought back from Dubai.

    Tax is not my portion, IJN!

    12. You are frantically looking for Naira to settle the airport lackeys, but you mistakenly pull out hard currency.

    Choi! Na you mess up.

    13. When someone asks you how you are leaving the airport so they can hitch a ride.

    Look at my passport very well, I am Nigerian, not a Samaritan.

    14. When your relatives and friends who came to pick you up are asking “what did you bring for us?”

    My friend, better enter duty free and buy KitKat, now now.

    15. When you step out of departures and are greeted by that blast of hot, humid air.

    Welcome back to Nigeria. Driver, please turn the air conditioning all the waaaay up.