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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.

    Christabel* and Henry* fell in love after a year of working together for a social association. While Christabel is more prudent with money, Henry enjoys going all out for the people he loves. Now they live together as a married couple and tell Zikoko how their personalities complement and balance out each other.

    What’s your most memorable date?

    Christabel: Our second date. We went to a park to have a picnic and had the best time with each other. We talked, walked around and even did small PDA.

    Henry: Mine was our getaway weekend in December 2021 — we used to have those once every few months when we were dating. For this one, we. stayed at a fancy hotel for three nights, went on a date at a restaurant, and even did a photoshoot.

    Christabel: Ah, sorry. That’s my favourite date, too. He had a car pick us up and take us wherever we went. I was convinced he would propose that weekend because of how extra everything seemed.

    But he didn’t?

    Christabel: No, he didn’t.

    Henry: I just wanted to make you feel special.

    How long was your relationship at the time?

    Henry: It was about nine months.

    Back to the getaway. How much did it cost?

    Henry: I can’t remember everything but the hotel was ₦100k per night. Our photoshoot was about ₦40k, and the dinner date cost ₦30k.

    Christabel: Ah, ₦30k? On top of small burgers and chicken wings? He didn’t tell me how expensive this thing was, I’d have freaked out.

    Henry: Clearly. But it wasn’t expensive because we had lamb chops and wine too.

    Do I need to ask who is better with money?

    Christabel: It’s definitely me. He likes to go all out for dates, but after we started dating, I made him put a ₦10k rule on every date. We’d only go on dates that would cost ₦10k per person, except on special occasions. He won’t admit it, but I know it helped. 

    Henry: You know what? I agree. She wasn’t a financial advisor for nothing.

    Oh? Financial advisor?

    Christabel: He was the president of the social group, and I was the financial advisor. That’s how we officially became friends, even though we knew each other in university. 

    Tell me about that

    Christabel: He was a year ahead of me, and we attended the same fellowship. But I never liked him. He was one of those brothers in fellowship that girls used to flock to after service.

    Henry: Haha. We met after we had both graduated, at a summit in 2018, exchanged pleasantries and went on our way. In 2019, we saw at another event, and later in the same year, we met at our reunion. 

    Christabel: He was voted in as the president, and I was the financial advisor. This time I asked for his number. 

    Finally! 

    Christabel: We got close during the pandemic in 2020. But when I asked him out in July, he turned me down and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I took my L, but we remained friends. I’d call him whenever I needed help with some design or Excel. 

    In 2021, this oga sent me a cake with the inscription, “I love you”. When I called to ask him, he said it was platonic. I was talking to someone then, but that one didn’t send any gifts, so my family members already assumed Henry and I were dating. 

    When did the relationship move past platonic?

    Henry: I invited her to my family house in 2021. I had promised to cook, but we ended up buying food at a restaurant instead. And when we got to the house to eat, I asked her if she’d like to be in a relationship with me.

    What of the other guy?

    Christabel: It wasn’t working out. And looking back, Henry had always stayed consistent in trying to know how things were between me and the guy. The whole time I didn’t know he was trying to displace him.

    Fair. But what was it like working with your partner?

    Christabel: For a whole year, nobody knew we were dating. Most people knew about us when we announced we were getting married in August 2022.

    Was there a proposal?

    Christabel: Yes! It happened in March 2022. We were supposed to go out, but his mum called me and asked me to come over. The plan was to go to her’s first then return home to change. If I knew what they’d planned, I’d have dressed hot — church girl with a pinch of Cardi B.

    Hahaha, I feel you

    Henry: The house was candlelit, and there was a screen with pictures of us from over the years. 

    Christabel: I tried to run, but he sat me down on the same couch we sat when he asked me out. This time, his question was if I’d marry him. I said yes. Then we had a small house party with our friends there.

    Wedding plans kicked off almost immediately, and we got married in August 2022. 

    How was the wedding?

    Christabel: There’s nothing like a small wedding. He had to tell me to cut down on some costs because the budget was already close to ₦6m- ₦7m. I’m usually the more frugal one, but I got carried away with the whole wedding. I was willing to pay ₦150k for my makeup for a white and traditional wedding each. But after I spoke to him, I realised it wasn’t just about me or that day, so I found an alternative that cost just ₦75k for both events.

    Henry: We had a spreadsheet where we documented the different expenses and costs, so that helped us stay on track. In the end, we spent about ₦3.5m- ₦3.8m. 

    Christabel: It was our responsibility, but he handled most of the expenses. I contributed about ₦1.5m or so.

    Fair. How do you handle expenses now?

    Christabel: It’s pretty much the same thing. He mainly handles things that involve heavy spending, although I help sometimes. We try to reduce our day-to-day expenses by buying stuff like toiletries, body essentials and consumables in bulk once a month. Sometimes it’s as low as ₦30k; other times, it’s as high as ₦100k.

    Do you still go on dates?

    Henry: Yes. We have evening dates. Most times, we just go out and eat. The last proper date where we dressed up was in February. 

    Was it for Valentine’s?

    Christabel: No. We spent Valentine’s indoors, and we exchanged gifts. I picked out pictures from three key events in our lives and framed them. He was going “aww”, but the real joy came out when he saw the wireless gamepad I got for him… 

    Henry: It’s not like that. I liked the frames, but I’d been planning to get the gamepad for a while, so seeing it was nice. 

    Christabel: His gift for me didn’t come until five days after because of some logistics issue. He got two Kampala dresses I’d been eyeing online. I started the conversation with the vendor until she mentioned the price. But he got them. 

    How much did the gifts cost?

    Christabel: You know you’re not supposed to tell people how much their gift cost sha. But the frames were ₦25k, and the pad was about ₦23k.

    Henry: Both dresses were ₦40k.

    Christabel: No wonder I didn’t buy it. Please, I’ll look for a tailor to sew it next time.

    How often do you gift each other?

    Christabel: We try to get something nice for each other on special occasions. I can’t seem to remember most of it, but for Valentine’s in 2021, we were both busy at work. He got me a large picture frame, chocolates and perfume.

    Henry: She got me those open-cut shoes.

    Christabel: He didn’t like shoes like that, but now he loves them. I think we buy better clothes for each other than we do for ourselves. Like, during our first Christmas as husband and wife last year, we agreed not to exchange gifts, but he’d been going on about one kaftan, so I got his tailor’s number from his phone and made it for him. I also added perfume and some chocolates in a box. It cost ₦35k.

    How do you celebrate birthdays?

    Henry: We’ve had just two birthdays together, and our birthdays are a month apart. For her birthday in 2021, I got her a dress, a picture frame, and a love book with 28 reasons why I love her.

    Christabel: There was also the cake and photoshoot.

    Henry: Oh yes, everything cost like ₦150k sha.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here

    Christabel, what about you?

    Christabel: He’d said he wanted his birthday to be just us, so I booked a room at a hotel, got a cake, wine and two shirts. 

    Henry: We talked and danced. It was a private party for both of us.

    Christabel: I got a discount on the room because we weren’t going to spend the night, and the cake was baked by my friend. In total, I spent ₦70k.

    And the second year?

    Henry: Her mum was sick at this time, so we were too busy moving hospitals to celebrate her birthday. But I got her a custom box with her name on it, cake, juice, small chops and chocolate. I also got her an adire dress and custom-made affirmation cards. Everything cost ₦65k. 

    Her mum passed before my birthday a month later, so we didn’t do anything for mine.

    Quick question, who is your next of kin?

    Henry: She’s mine.

    Christabel: He’s not only my next of kin; he’s my unpaid business consultant. I have a cleaning business, and he assists with financial advice and solutions. I make about ₦100k in profit on an average month.

    Do you have a financial safety net?

    Christabel: I try to keep aside some money whenever something enters my hand. Sometimes it’s ₦20k, sometimes ₦50k. But I have a ₦200 auto daily savings. 

    What do you think about your financial future as a couple?

    Christabel: We’re going to be wealthy. I can’t say how, but we’re both open to exploring different business opportunities, so that’s bound to happen.

    Henry: I agree; we’re a good team. We will make money from whatever we decide by creating and giving value.

    Get your HERtitude tickets

  • There’s a way to avoid a problem if you identify it early. If you date some Nigerian men though, sometimes the problem can be confused with romance. How then do you prevent entering that kind of trap?

    Watch out for these signs.

    1. He likes home-cooked food but he cannot cook.

    Listen to me, if you proceed with that relationship, prepare to start your own food channel because you will cook tire.

    2. He wants to know your body count.

    The question is why? What does he need that information for?

    3. He likes feminism oh, but he thinks you should tone it down.

    I’m not wishing you bad oh, but hmmmm.

    4. He likes your size oh, but he wants you to ‘slim down small.’

    Na from clap dance dey start. Just so you know.

    5. He is a ‘spiri-koko.’

    Spiritual is different from Spiri-koko. If you can’t tell the difference between both, then I’m sorry.

    6. He always wants to know where you are.

    It will look like love and accountability at first. But accountability is different from monitoring. Learn it now before it’s too late.

    7. He is always making comments about the amount of male attention you receive.

    He is caring, abi? Wait until you see that jealousy is different from being caring.

    8. He believes in the concept of the ‘traditional woman.’

    If you are a traditional woman, feel free to stay oh. But if you know you are not, nne, run and let your leg touch the back of your head.

    9. Like play, like play, he’s always hinting at beating you.

    “Is it me you’re talking to like that? Am I your mate? I’ll slap you oh.”

    Omoge, one day will be one day when fish will swallow Jonah and the wall of Jericho will fall. Biko, run now before it will happen.

    10. His friends always disrespect babes in your presence.

    Who is to say they are not disrespecting you when you are not there? Disrespect is like party pack. Everybody must surely collect it. Time of serving can just be different.

    11. He says things like this:

    ANY WOMAN THAT I WANT TO MARRY MUST, FIRST OF ALL, STAY WITH MY MUM FOR 6 MONTHS/1 YEAR SO THAT MY MUM CAN TRAIN HER AND LET HER KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

    Abeg run.

    12. He belongs to Twitter for Violence.

    Any small thing, I’m here for the violence. Yes, there are times we choose violence, but if that is all he uses his Twitter account for, my dear you have your answer.

    13. He believes that even though you both marry, you are still not 100% his family.

    May you not marry a man that will not consider you family. Amen, sis?

    QUIZ: What Kind Of People Do You Attract?

    [donation]

  • In choosing a partner to date or marry, most people do not often consider food compatibility as much as they should. The stories these 8 people told me about food issues in their relationship are a mix of hilarious and ‘oh dear’, but after writing and reading, it made me think about the importance of knowing and understanding your partner’s food preferences.

    Tunji

    I like my yam thinly sliced while my girlfriend likes big chunks. And this, yam slices, was what caused our fight. She had a fit about it. She said it was an indication of how I don’t listen to her. How I don’t care. I apologized and started to cut my yams differently.

    We broke up two years later. There were many reasons, but at the core of it was that one partner was less attentive.

    Sarah.

    My boyfriend is always undecided when it comes to food. The first time I asked him what he wanted to eat, his response was “I don’t know o, the men in my family have this thing where we’re always indecisive when it comes to picking food.”

    I was silent for a few seconds. In my mind, I thought, “As per generational curse or?” Because frankly, I didn’t understand. The next thing he said was, “So what are we going to eat like this?”

    I have learned to stop asking him that question.

    Dolapo.

    I love locust beans (iru). It’s what I grew up eating; my best stew is one that contains a lot of it. My boyfriend doesn’t like it. He loves beans, I don’t. The first time I cooked stew, he made a comment. “You eat a lot of iru oh.” I laughed, brushed it off as a normal compliment. But for the two days that we had the stew, I saw that he was forcing himself to eat it. Later, when we made a food timetable, he found a way to include beans into everything while locust beans was dropped. For the first 2/3 months, I had to manage the beans. He’d cook it, and I would eat very little with a lot of garri. He never noticed. I had to let go of iru even though it was something I love a lot. I only used it in okro, which was something we cooked once in a while. I picked up eating beans which was something I do not care so much for.

    Image result for iru woro
    Locust beans (iru).

    And there was the issue of my not eating much. Although I love to cook, so much that I even offer to cook for people, I don’t eat much. Sometimes, I eat once a day, and sometimes I can even forget to eat. I find it very stressful that we humans have to get our energy from eating. The result of this is that I find it hard to make food decisions. I can spend close to three hours trying to decide what to eat.

    And now here’s the problem: I have ulcer, and I weigh about 50kg, so he always wanted me to eat three square meals even though I did not want to. He’d ask me what I wanted to eat and I would take a long time to decide. Or I could decide and then change my mind five minutes later. I eventually told him that putting the responsibility of deciding what to eat on me was a difficult situation to put me in.

    We lived together for seven months before we broke up. There were a lot of reasons, but my indecisiveness about food and my refusal to eat was a large part of the problem.

    Chidera.

    We went out on a date to a place I’d never been. He’d been there lots of times, enough times to know what slaps on their menu and what didn’t. So, I asked him to order, and he settled for spaghetti Bolognese for the both of us. Now, here’s the problem: I’m the kind of girl who can have a full plate of food in front of me but would rather eat yours. It’s a love language.

    When our spaghetti Bolognese was brought, I put my fork in his bowl and tried to eat from it, and he got so angry. I honestly couldn’t figure out why. That was not the first time I would be eating his food even though I had mine, so why was this one different?

    You know what he did next? He pushed his food toward me and said I had to eat both. And I was like, What? I told him I couldn’t eat it, so he just left the bowl in front of him. He didn’t touch it until I finished eating mine. It was such an awkward, quiet date.

    I tried to kiss him when we got home, but he said he’s still mad at me. And so, me too, I told him I still don’t understand the problem because it wasn’t the first time I would be eating his food. Here’s what he said: “All the other times you ate my food, we weren’t eating the same thing. I have a problem with the fact that we had the same plate of food and you still decided to eat mine. And not just anywhere, but in public.”

    I never touched his food after that. And it’s very painful, because how do I show love?

    Folasayo.

    My husband loves Semo and Fufu — two things I do not like. I mean, who eats Semo??? But because love and other such stories, I buy Semo during our monthly grocery shopping and I prepare it for him as well. Fufu on the other hand? Jesus has to intervene.

    Ibinabo.

    Shawarma is my life. My life. And I’m dating someone who doesn’t eat shawarma. Can you believe that? I have threatened to break up because of it. It’s like why??? That’s a red flag nau. Beyond that, they’re such a picky eater. Do you know I keep a food chart for them to keep track of what they eat and how they eat it?

    And then they judge my food choices. Imagine. So what if I eat ice cream and fried yam? Why are you judging me? They tell me they love me either way, as if they’re doing me a favour and I’m not the one adding spice to their life. Tueh. Also, he feels like I’m going to dump him for food one day. He’s not wrong. Food makes me happy, food makes me cum, food makes me feel good. What do I really need a man for?

    Roseline.

    My fiance is a white man. He cannot stand pepper, neither does he completely enjoy Nigerian food. Yes, I am used to foreign food—mashed potatoes, full English breakfast, the whole shebang, but I am Nigerian, Yoruba, and it’s inconceivable to assume I can survive so long without pepper or Nigerian food.

    At first, I made what he liked: foreign food, less pepper. And when I started craving efo riro, eba, soup, I decided to introduce him to Nigerian food in small ‘doses.’ I’d cook meals that were not too peppery for him to handle. It was a fair deal.

    And then I made pounded yam and efo riro one day. When I cook, I don’t taste it until I’m done or it’s time to eat. It’s just how I am. When I served my man the food, he screamed. It was too peppery. Even me, I tasted it and knew that I had fucked up.

    After that incident, I had to settle for making two meals: my own Nigerian food and his own foreign food. It wasn’t the most enjoyable thing. In fact, it was a lot of work. Getting a cook made it easier.

    Grace.

    Before anything, I should let you know that I love spaghetti and ponmo. I can eat spaghetti as breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even as an afternoon snack. As for ponmo, I can buy food and have them fill the whole plate with ponmo. It is who I am. Now, the issue.

    One day, my boyfriend and I were hungry. We’d both had a long day and we decided to get food on our way back home. Where we stopped at, they had only swallow, so I offered to buy spaghetti on the road and cook when we got home. He said nothing — not to agree or disagree or make any comment. I bought the spaghetti with my money, prepared it, and served him. And then he refused to eat it. It wasn’t even that I could not finish the entire pot if I wanted to. I could, but there I was, offering him a plate and he was rejecting it.

    The next thing he said was, “Did you even ask me what I wanted to eat before deciding on spaghetti?”

    Wahala.

    He didn’t eat that spaghetti, and he didn’t talk to me that night. Same thing the next day. He went to work, came back and still kept up the silent treatment. So I confronted him. He took it very serious. Started talking about, “Have you even considered eating other things except spaghetti?”

    Me I told him, “Bros, no shout for me oh.”

    That incident passed, only for the ponmo incident to happen. That day, he helped me get food, and he told me there was no ponmo, so he got meat for me. I agreed and ate the food. It was after I finished mine, that I saw that he had ponmo in his own food. So I asked him, “Why was there ponmon in your food and you gave me meat? You know I’d rather have ponmo.”

    Frankly, I was angry. It seemed like a comeback on the spaghetti incident and all the spaghetti-related issues we’d had before then. Like how he’d buy me tiny spaghetti to cook when he knew fully well that I don’t like tiny spaghetti. It also seemed like he didn’t put me into consideration.

  • Ending a relationship is hardly ever as effortless as romantic comedies like to make us think. It takes more than binge watching a Netflix show, eating ice cream and crying for one day to get over a breakup. The stages of a Nigeria relationship breakup are way more complex.

    1. The mutual ghosting.

    This is usually the beginning of the end. You both just stop talking to each other and your Whatsapp message thread suddenly becomes deserted land.

    2. The official closing remarks.

    Which is technically the actual breakup and is most often dramatic. If its an annoying one then it most likely sounds like something from this list.

    3. The initial shock and denial.

    Now it’s officially over but you’re still shook. You have been in the relationship for a while and being single suddenly feels strange. Do you publish a statement or do you just start flirting and posting single life memes? Very strange.

    4. Then comes the rage.

    The part where you unleash your craze because you just realized how much time and energy you invested in the relationship and it should not end like this. It becomes worse if the ex cheated. This is also when most people take to their twitter feed to drop nuggets of wisdom about the futility of relationships and how much of a scam love is.

    5. Oh the pain.

    Not beautiful pain please. This is one is the painful pain.

    6. The chesting of the pain.

    zikoko- Nigeria relationship breakup

    And then of course you pretend you are ok because somehow the end of a relationship gradually transforms into a competition to see who between the both exes is doing better. And there’s no way you’re losing this competition.

    7. The part where you finally move on.

    zikoko- Nigeria relationship breakup

    Or think you have. You go on new dates and meet interesting people so it seems a lot like you have moved on and are in a happy place.

    8. And then the part where you run into your ex.

    zikoko- Nigeria relationship breakup

    For some people, seeing their ex for the first time after the breakup takes them right back to stage 3. With even more shock if the said ex is already in a new relationship. Like how dare they?

    Did we miss any stage?

    Click here for happy thoughts.

  • 1. So you threw the baddest owambe in Lagos for your wedding.

    As per, you had to leave the single life in grand style.

    2. But you didn’t know there were many people entering the marriage with you.

    Awon aunties and uncles.

    3. So you have to wear your trad to greet all of them after the wedding.

    Kneeling and greeting up and down!

    4. Instead of them to give you money to help the marriage, it’s only advice they have o!

    Let somebody see front abeg!

    5. When your mother-in-law comes to inspect your cooking pot only two days into the marriage.

    See wahala!

    6. When your aunties start praying for twins and triplets in your home.

    Who asked you, o?

    7. When it’s 3:30am and your wife isn’t up doing one or two things.

    Come and be going to your daddy’s house abeg!

    8. Your mother, when your wicked aunty from the village comes visiting.

    Blood of Jesus!

    9. You and bae, when single people tweet, “I think marriage is…”

    See these ones!

    10. You, when people start asking when you’ll get pregnant.

    Face your front!

    11. When people don’t add Mrs to your name:

    Put some ‘respek’ on my name!

    12. When you forgot to break up with your girlfriend before your wedding:

    Gbese!

    13. You, when your side chic sends you congratulations text with your wedding pictures:

    “Actually, it’s not really my wedding….”



  • A few days ago, Joro Olumofin shared an email he received from a young lady on his Instagram page

    And for you people that don’t like reading long things; she basically said that when her boyfriend saw the robbers approaching, he ran out of the car without even warning her

    So when the Zikoko team heard about this craziness, we just couldn’t help but chook our own mouths inside

    Maryam, Junior Writer

    “I’ll dump him on the spot and ask if he’s okay afterwards since we all want to be childish. Just to make him know what it feels like to be suddenly abandoned.”

    Nerd Efiko, Senior Writer

    “It will pain me sha. At least warn me before you take off, let us run together. Hian.”

    Damilola, Editor-In-Chief

    “If my boyfriend did this to me, we are basically done. And since he wants to be silly and childish, I’ll put on him on blast – tell his mother, his father, his pastor, put them on a WhatsApp group and put him on BLAST. And it’s the kind of guy who’s always doing Bonnie and Clyde on Instagram that’ll do this sort of thing. But when it comes down to it…?”

    Osarumen, Zikoko Contributor/Senior Editor at TechCabal

    “First of all, I’m likely to be the one doing the running. If she beats me to it, then I’m going to put a ring on it. That is, if I can find her afterwards.”

    Tola, Zikoko Contributor/Writer at TechCabal

    “I’d probably just break up with him by never speaking to him again. Ever again. People heard the gist and were laughing… It’s so embarrassing Jesus!”

    Odunayo, Staff Writer

    “LMAOO. For me, I don’t expect my boyfriend to fight armed robbers, that’s obviously stupid. But at least stay with me, let’s give them all our belongings together. If he runs, I’m single now.  We could have run together but…anyway, no space for cornflakes guys in my life.”

    Tobi Smith, Staff Writer

    “I’ll see it as God showing me she’s not the one for me. As she ran away, she should run out of my life. We are single now. But if it was the other way round, I’ll either stay with her and see what happens, or ask her how many legs she has, depending on how much I have and how strong the armed robbers faces are.”

    So if your significant other ran away when you were approached by armed robbers, what would you do? Share your thoughts in the comments section

  • When you’re complaining to your girl that you and Femi haven’t fought in a month.

    So you send him the “we need to talk” message.

    How you act when he comes and tries to hug you.

    “LOL, ok what did I do now?”

    “SO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW?”

    “Jesus! Look at how you’re now shouting like a mad woman”

    “It’s your side chick that is mad!”

    “Which side chick now?”

    “Your ‘edible catering’ now”

    “Which one is ‘edible catering’ again?”

    “So you’re going to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about abi?”

    “You’re really not making any sense”

    “It’s your mother that doesn’t have sense!”

    “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BRINGING MY MOTHER INTO THIS?”

    “Omg why are you now shouting at me?!”

    “Because you’re always taking things too far!”

    When you realise you’ve actually taken things too far but the show must go on…

    “So now you’re keeping quiet abi!”

    “But why are you now getting angry?”

    “Ok fine, let’s forget it. I’m sorry”

    When you realise that he’s actually apologising for the fake drama you started:

  • Everybody loves happy and cute couples. Those ones that make you want to fall in love everyday.

    Couples that still spend quality time together and have fun in their own way after decades of being together are the utimate relationship goals.

    A Nigerian shared these tweets of this elderly couple having a quiet picnic at Agodi gardens, Ibadan.

    Meet Chief And Mrs Frederick Olutunde Obadina…

    ..who have been married since 1958.

    They were enjoying a quiet time and a game of cards together.

    And he ended the thread with this important lesson…

    [zkk_poll post=18781 poll=content_block_standard_format_7]