The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
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How long have you been with your partner?
Tabitha and I started dating in January, so that’s about six months.
How did you both meet?
She’s a university student in my neighbourhood, so I’ve seen her around for a while. I finally got the courage to talk to her when she came to my POS stand to make a transfer. The person she sent the money to didn’t receive the alert, but the transaction was successful on my end. I convinced her to exchange numbers so she could reach me if the person didn’t see the money.
We actually didn’t need to exchange numbers. She would’ve seen me on her way to school the following day, but I insisted because I wanted to get close. After that day, I reached out on WhatsApp and we started talking regularly.
The talking stage lasted for two weeks. I officially asked Tabitha out on her birthday with a ₦3k teddy bear (she’d told me she liked them) and a handwritten card.
Romance!
After she said yes, I took her to the cinema for a movie date, and we bought shawarma, popcorn and drinks. I spent close to ₦30k on that date, which was quite dumb on my part. That’s how much I make in a week. But I was excited. She deserved it.
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Speaking of money, what’s your and Tabitha’s financial situation like?
I think we’re both doing as well as we can. Tabitha is in 300 level, but she does several things to make money. She sells perfume oils, female two-piece outfits and also cooks for money. Her parents and siblings occasionally send her urgent ₦5k or ₦10k, but she doesn’t rely on them alone.
I don’t know how much she makes exactly, but she pays her ₦80k rent herself. I also know she has savings because she has been trying to get me to be consistent with savings, too.
Saving is difficult for me because I live with my parents. My dad is sick, so he doesn’t work. Out of the ₦30k I make weekly, I have to drop ₦10k to support my mum, who doesn’t make much from her provisions store. Sometimes, extra expenses like my dad’s medicine also take out of my money.
So, it’s hard to keep money without touching it. Tabitha is always on my case about saving sha. She’ll say, “Aren’t you concerned about your future?”
How do you respond when she says that?
I can’t really say much because I know she’s right. I started this POS business in 2023 because I was tired of job hunting with my HND certificate, but I can’t do POS forever.
My business was one of the first things Tabitha asked me about when we started dating. She asked if I had future plans outside the POS work because she’d only date me if I had a plan to stop the work one day. So, I told her about my hopes of opening an outlet to sell male clothes and shoes to both online and walk-in customers.
We agreed I’d save ₦30k monthly so I can start the clothes business by the end of the year, but I haven’t saved anything. I saved ₦10k twice and withdrew it later. Tabitha is unhappy with that, and I’m trying to improve.
I plan to be more intentional starting this month. A few days ago, I made a kolo from a large tomato tin, and I’ll be dropping ₦1k there daily.
I hope that works out. Does your savings plan leave room to budget for dates and romance?
We don’t really spend on dates like that. I’m usually at my POS stand every single day till evening, so there’s not much time to go out.
However, I always go to Tabitha’s hostel in the evenings to spend about an hour with her. Sometimes, she cooks for me. I sometimes buy shawarma or suya when I visit because she likes them. That usually costs me ₦3k.
The last big relationship expense I made since our first date was in April. A dispatch rider ran away with ₦20k worth of Tabitha’s perfume oils, so I paid for the loss. She didn’t ask me to pay. I just saw how badly it affected her and paid because I didn’t want her to be unhappy. She thanked me for that money for three days.
That’s so sweet. What’s the most memorable gift Tabitha has given you?
She gave me a new money pouch last month. It touched me because my old money pouch was tattered. I always postponed entering the market to buy a new one because I didn’t want to leave my stand. We didn’t even talk about it. She just came to my stand that day and handed me the pouch. I almost cried o. Big man like me.
I’m screaming. Do you both have money conversations?
We’re both open about how much we have, but it’s not because we ask each other; the information just flows. We can just be talking and I’ll say, “It’s only ₦5k I made today o,” or she can say, “My sister sent me ₦5k.”
I think there’s still plenty of time for serious money conversations. I don’t need to know exactly how much she earns when it’s not like we want to get married tomorrow.
What do you think the future holds for you both?
We still have a long way to go. I don’t think I’m ready to get married in the next five years. So, we’re just taking it a day at a time. I’d really love it if we manage to stay together. She once joked that I had to convert to her religion because that was the only way her father would approve of a future marriage. If it comes down to that, I don’t mind converting.
What’s the ideal financial future for you as a couple?
Japa. We both want to leave Nigeria one day.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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