1. When you’re eating sweet amala at work and you stain your white shirt
Hay God!
2. When you eat onions before going to work, so you spend the whole day talking to people like:
See my shame in 3D.
3. When you open your packed lunch at work, and all your colleagues are like
Who sent me to put locust beans inside this food?
4. When you’re having dinner with bae, but the fork and knife is not having sense but he’s just looking at you like:
âWho is this one forming for, please?â
5. When you eat beans at work and your tummy wants to start doing rough play
What is all this one now?
6. When you want to form posh and you order something you can’t pronounce on the menu
What is this yama yama?
It appears Ghanaians are taking the Jollof wars to a whole other level. There’s been an intense battle since forever, over who cooks the best Jollof between the two countries.
Even though we all know Nigerian Jollof is the main thing, this video is still hilarious!
Nigerian Twitter is seriously dissing the video though.
@That_IjebuBadoo Taa.! She used the entire video to slice tomatoes please where’s the jollof?! ??
Now, let’s all sit and wait for the Nigerian version.
1. This one that is already complete on it’s own.
2. This strong independent rice that doesn’t need meat to survive.
3. This one that obviously has more international exposure than you.
4. This one that got married to dodo and is now living happily ever after.
5. This one that is having the best cuddle session with chicken.
6. This beautiful plate that can’t even shout.
7. This rice that is well protected by grilled meat.
8. This fried rice that looks more supportive than any bae will be.
9. This fried rice that is ready to be there for you after a breakup.
This Sunday is World Jollof Rice Day!
You might be a Nigerian jollof fan or a Ghanaian jollof fan. Â You might think that Jamie Oliverâs jollof was on point or you might believe it was disgusting. Â You might not even like jollof rice (what is wrong with you?). Â But you have to agree that jollof rice is important.
So this World Jollof Rice Day (yes, this is a thing), MAGGI Nigeria and Kitchen Butterfly have organised a special event to celebrate World Jollof Day.  Hereâs whatâs going down:
1. A Jollof Rice exhibition.
Involving food art from super-creative Haneefah Adams (@muslimahanie) and the winners of the Instagram Photo Contest for World Jollof Rice Day.
2. A lesson on the history of Jollof Rice.
For those of you who want to know were jollof comes from (hint: heaven).
3. A chat with the convener of the first Wolof/Jolof Exhibition.
His name is Folakunle Oshun and heâs a sculptor. And a jollof rice lover.
4. A book meet on “Jollof Rice in Literature.”
Who knew that jollof rice was so deep?
Wana Udobong, Ozoz Sokoh and Amanda Chukwudozie will be discussing Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie, Without a Silver Spoon by Eddie Iroh and other books. Eghosa Imasuen, author of fine boys will moderate and theyâll discuss themes like the cultural significance of Jollof, Jollof Rice across ethnic and socioeconomic barriers and Jollof as comfort food.
(Seriously though, who knew?)
5. An actual meal of Jollof Rice from Ghana High
Now youâre talking!
6. And finally, the after-party!
Because ainât no party like a Jollof partyâŠ
7. And it’s going down this Sunday 21st August…
⊠at Whitespace (58 Raymond Njoku, Ikoyi, Lagos) between 4 and 7 pm.  They said you should come hungry, we agree!
1. Yummy small chops
To hold your stomach before they bring the Jollof.
2. Spicy ofada rice and soft dodo
The one served in leaves only!
3. Crunchy chin-chin for whiling away time
In case the waiters are acting childish and still delaying your Jollof.
4. Jollof rice garnished with orisirisi
Because, no Jollof, no owambe!
5. Steaming amala and ewedu
With all the obstacles you can think of.
6. Fried rice that’s actually green and turkey
Itâs okay to cheat on Jollof rice sometimes.
7. ‘Chinese rice’
Even if we donât think this rice is actually Chinese sha.
8. Yam pottage and stew
Oh my!
9. Fluffy pounded yam and egusi soup
The food to eat right before loosing your home training.
10. Cake slices
Even if the caterers share the cake like they want to carry the rest to their house.
11. 5 Alive
This one is for when they want to make a toast.
12. Ice-cold bottle of malt
To wash everything down.
13. Shawarma
In case youâre forming ajebutter.
By now, you’ve definitely heard of Princess Vitarah’s “Nigerian Pussy” song.
And people canât seem to make up their mind if they love it or hate it.
Now before we start, we’re going to borrow an idea from Siyanda Panda đ
This whole time I seriously thought "jollof rice" was code for pussy.
