What Type of Bridesmaid Are You?

August 8, 2018

“Hello funke, I’m getting married and I’d like you to be on my bridal train” What? Me? Wow! I’m honoured. I can’t stop crying, wow I’m so happy.

That’s the first type of bridesmaid you’d find at every wedding. The extremely emotional one.

While Funke is crying, her friend is thinking of how she will meet Prince Charming at this wedding.

“And I’m sure her husband has fine friends o. Jehovah this is my time. This is it”

There’s also the bride’s best friend who is also her P.A throughout this wedding. This is the person who actually gets to decide who is on the bridal train.

She’s the assistant bride, and if she doesn’t like you. Sorry, your bridesmaid benefit is canceled.

You know those people you can never go shopping with because they never find anything they like? Yes, you will find them on the bridal train.

If you like pick 15 different clothes,  they would not like anyone. “This dress is too big o, no no that’s too small, but the colours are too much, lets have that one, too its too dull”

While the other bridesmaid is being dramatic with clothes. There’s one who just observes, because she has been on her bridesmaid duty for years.

And she knows the dress everyone picks is what you will still wear. Whether you like it or not.

There’s the bridesmaid who has suddenly taken the wedding planners job. She is everywhere and in everything.

Except her actual bridesmaid duty.

This persons only mission for the wedding is to catch the bouquet. So if they throw the bouquet and this next person doesn’t catch it.

Let’s just say things won’t end well.

There’s the one that’s friends with every and any one because she’s not bothered about husband or wife or dress or anything.

She just want’s to pop bottles and party.

The last person on this list is at this position because she is always late. For everything.

“Wait where’s Toke? She’s not here yet”

If you have ever been a bridesmaid. And you fall under any of these categories.

You’re a real G.
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 21, 2020

1) The quiet ones: They mind their business and the only time you interact with them is from bargaining fare to eventual payment. 5 stars, Okada edition. 2) Chatterboxes: Sir, I can’t hear you over the sound of my heart beating fast because I am holding on for dear life. Stop talking sir. 3) Daredevils: […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 28, 2021

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means […]

February 27, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 39-year-old heterosexual man who was celibate for almost a decade before he got married. He talks about his wild sexual past and how he thinks that might be stopping him from fully enjoying married sex.

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X