1. When your arch nemesis keeps looking for your trouble.
2. And you are just looking at her like:
3. And all her friends now join her to mock you and look for your trouble.
4. Now your head is getting hotter and hotter.
5. And before you know it you are abusing her like:
6. Then she says after school you people will see.
7. Now during maths you are calculating how many slaps it will take to make sure her mouth is swollen shut.
8. And imagining how you will fight without tearing your school uniform.
9. Your own friends are busy sending you notes of encouragement.
10. After school you meet each other face to face for the real deal.
11. Then you realise that she’s actually taller and fatter than you thought.
12. Then she lands the first blow and you think this might be how you die.
13. When she lands another one you decide to help yourself by “fainting”.
14. Before she will use her big hands to kill you for your parents.
15. When you get home your siblings laugh at you like:
16. Meanwhile your mother is shouting at you because your uniform is dirty.
17. If not that you survived a near death experience you would have fought all of them.
18. But God is good, you faint today to fight tomorrow.
1. The ‘My Mummy Said I Shouldn’t Fight’
After looking for trouble they’ll say “No…I want to fight…it’s just that my mummy said I should stop fighting”.
2. The ‘Always Injured’
These ones always have injuries, “I injured my hand yesterday, ask Seun. If not i’ll have rubbished your body”.
3. The ‘Hold Me Back’
“Guy, hold me back because it’s like this one wants to see my other side”.
4. The ‘Cry-Cry Baby’
“I SAID I’M NOT CRYING!… it’s just sand in my eyes”.
5. The ‘Mad Man/Woman’
The ones that fight like a demon is inside them. Please for your own safety, avoid at all costs!.
6. The ‘Snitch’
Argue small and they’ll run to a teacher like “Esskuz me Sir, Femi said he’ll slap the taste out of my mouth”.
7. The ‘Never Walk Alone’
Always forming Mighty Morphing with their gang and will never fight you alone.
8. The ‘god of war’
Always take fights too seriously, type of person that can blind you because you lost their pen.
9. The ‘Charger’
Very extra people, they’ll tear shirt, off trouser, slap themselves, and you’ll still beat them like your child.
1. When you see her out in public but you’re not ready to make up yet.
Nope, not yet.
2. When she cracks a joke but you are still fighting so no laughter from you.
She thinks she is funny abi?
3. When someone suggests you be the bigger person and apologise.
Bigger person ko, bigger person ni!
4. When you see her hanging out with someone else.
Judas the betrayer!
5. When there is gist and you are waiting for her to apologise before you tell her.
Oya oh!
6. When your parents ask about her, you’re like:
Why?
7. When someone thinks because you guys are fighting they can come and gossip about her to you.
If you don’t get out of here before I give you elbow.
8. When you finally make up after all the shakara.
No more fight!
9. When you are catching each other up on all the gist that happened during your fight.
“In fact ehn…..”
1. When you realise your parents are having a disagreement.
Which kind of wahala is this one now?
2. When your mother comes to report your father to you.
How is this one my business now?
3. When your father comes to report your mother to you.
Oh you too?
4. When they are both shouting over you but you can’t leave because they will now face you.
So I should just stay here and be looking?
5. When either of them try to get you to be on their side, you’re like:
Please don’t involve me in your domestic squabble. Thanks!
6. When they start using style to bribe you for your support.
That’s when both of them know how to give you anything you want!
7. When they are arguing about you or your siblings.
So that is why somebody cannot hear word?
8. You, to the parent that is on your side:
The best parent in the whole world.
9. How you and your siblings have to tiptoe around the house so you don’t collect misplaced anger:
Please oh!
10. When you see either of your parents coming to look for even more support.
I’m not around oh, please!
11. When you try to settle the argument and you end up stressed:
Because you just wanted to help people oh!
12. When they settle their quarrel and then turn on you together.
Wow! Such betrayal!
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1. When you try to go out in an outfit your mother thinks is too short or too tight, she’s like:
“You might as well be naked! My friend will you go and change that rubbish!”
2. When you’re uninterested in cooking and she’s wondering why.
“Is this how you will be doing in your husband’s house?”
3. When she doesn’t like your boyfriend and you are still dating him.
Everyday she will use her advice and wise words to be torturing you in the house.
4. When your hairstyle or make up is too loud or crazy for her.
“Why do you like to do yourself jagga jagga like this?”
5. When you go to school and you only call her three times a week instead of twice a day, she’s like:
Hello ma, how many talk do you want us to talk?
6. When she doesn’t like your friends and you still hang out with them.
She’s usually right about them at the end of the day sha but still!
7. When you decide to stop following her to her own church/mosque.
Madam God is everywhere please let me go where I want!
8. When you stop telling her gist because you know she’ll use it against you later.
How can we be fighting because I’m not talking enough!
9. When your female cousins/friends come to visit and your mother starts comparing the both of you.
Be satisfied with what you have ma!
10. When you come home “late” which is any time after 7:30pm.
“You are now a nightcrawler abi?”
This spiritual battle between a Ghanaian babalawo and another pastor reminds us of the latest Batman Vs Superman movie- how the fight looked like it was going to be one deadly match!
Apparently, Bishop Obinim, the Founder of International Leadsway church got mad when a spiritual priest claimed to be the source of his healing powers.
Na wa!
Bishop Obinim got angry and challenged the priest, Okomfo Yaw Appiah, to a spiritual battle at Jackson park, Kumasi.
As per actor and boss.
The rules were simple. Bishop Obinim wanted the priest to come and show his powers and the loser gets to be buried in a coffin.
The loser should just go and report to God in heaven.
Being a baby boy, the bishop came dressed in all white and bling with two VIP buses full of his congregation.
As per angel of the most high.
Funny enough, after making plenty mouth, Priest Okomfo didn’t show up because he claimed the police ‘prevented’ him from coming for the battle.
Instead of him to say he’s not doing anymore.
Bishop Obinim kuku declared himself winner of the battle in the presence of the over 3000 people who gathered to watch the battle.
There are over 7 billion people on earth today with obviously diverse cultures and ways of life. But why should food cause a huge fight between people of different nationalities?
It all started when Love & Hip-Hop Star, Tammy Rivera shared a picture of a plate of Pounded Yam and Egusi on her Instagram.
Those who found it disgusting commented saying the egusi looked really nasty.
And Nigerians brought the rage of their ancestors (and fuel queues), calling them slaves for daring to bash their beloved Egusi soup.
And then it became a full blown war between Nigerians and anybody that thought Egusi looked gross.
Some Nigerians bashed other people’s foods.
And people’s education and English speaking skills were questioned.
When did weaves and make up have anything to do with Egusi soup?
And while this messy fight was going on, Tammy explained to a fan who really wanted to know how she fell in love with Egusi.
Why are they cursing themselves on another person’s Instagram page over food?
When people that have to queue all night for fuel are calling people with constant supply of electricity slaves.
Not even all Nigerians like Egusi soup but Nigerians still went in to fight like…
When you try to ignorantly bash a Nigerian food but Nigerians came for you like..
Not all foods will be appealing to everybody, we all have our different preferences. However, people should learn about other cultures before commenting or simply just unlook!
There are several ways of handling issues in Nigeria which hardly ever includes keeping calm.
Nigerian senators usually solve issues by either making serious banter…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv0W5aQhqMc
Because Nigerian women’s lives don’t matter.
Or fight things out, street style.
Because decorum is too much stress.
On April 4, Nasarawa state lawmakers left trash for LAWMA.
And fought at the state House of Assembly.
Apparently, Governor Al-Makura’s appointment of 11 new council chairmen was what caused the wahala.
Some of the senators opposed the Governor’s motion and accused those in support of receiving 50 million Naira bribe from him.
The newly appointed council chairmen were supposed to be succeeding the former council leaders whose appointments ended on March 24.
These senators disagreed because they thought the appointments were illegal.
Na wa oh!
We didn’t vote them for this sha.
When those in charge of making the laws that guide the country are actually lawless.
What a shame!
Watch full details of the fight here:
Perhaps, if the passion and anger of this fight is channelled into the Agatu crisis plaguing Nasarawa state, the problem could be solved quicker than imagined.
