Y’all, the age of Miss Carona is upon us. Like that Dr Alban song, she’s invited herself to dinner and won’t take no for an answer. Because of this, the general public has been advised to do all they can to make sure she doesn’t stay long i.e washing hands with soap and using hand sanitizer, social distancing, and self-isolation/quarantine. We’re here today to talk about that last part.
Self-isolation involves staying locked up at home to ensure you don’t get infected. Not leaving your house for days can feel like torture, so we’ve made a list of suggestions of stuff you can do to pass the time.
1) Exercise
YAS GAWD! Work those creaky joints and atrophied muscles by engaging in light or heavy workout sessions by yourself in your living space. There are plenty of equipment-free home workout routines on YouTube to choose from.
2) Let your reading habits return from war.
When was the last time you read a book from start to finish without taking a two-year break in between? This is the time to regain that sense of wonder (and the attention span) you had as a kid.
3) Finish learning that new language so the Duo Lingo bird can stop leaving you passive-aggressive messages.
The worst thing about this meme is that you can’t run. You’re in quarantine.
4) Get your diet in order.
Seeing as you’ll be home and will mostly be cooking your own meals, this is your chance to eat healthier stuff as opposed to the junk food that was easily available before judgement day happened.
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Brethren, because we’re currently in the age of Miss Corona, there’s news about her EVERYWHERE you turn. You’ve thought of tuning it out but won’t because you need to keep up with the recent developments. It’s exhausting. You’re exhausted. Chile, we get it. With that in mind, here are 5 funny Nigerian TV shows suggested by 5 Zikoko writers you can binge to take your mind off who’s coming to dinner (Miss Corona).
1) Assistant Madams(suggested by Daniel)
According to RedTV’s website, Assistant Madams chronicles the lives of three beautiful hustling ladies played by Sophie Alakija, Osas Ighodaro, and Tana Egbo-Adelana, who are hell-bent on living their best lives at any cost, one man at a time.
As Daniel already established in his episode of Zikoko’s “Quickie“, everything about this show is bad. The writing, acting, editing, sound mixing etc. And that, ladies & gents, is why he wants you to watch it. The show manages to achieve the rare feat of being so bad, it’s good. Trust him, y’all. He’s not wrong. There are 5 episodes currently available and you can watch them all on RedTV’s YouTube channel.
2) The Men’s Club(suggested by Boyin)
The Men’s Club stars Ayoola Ayolola, Etim Effiong, Enado Odigie, and Baaj Adebule as four friends who come together in sharing their highs and lows all the while being surrounded by their women, their businesses, and the hassles of their city.
A thing you should know is that The Men’s Club and Assistant Madams both exist in the same fictional universe. Watch this show and get your entire life. There are 2 seasons currently available to watch on RedTv’s YouTube channel.
3) Jennifa’s Diary (Suggested by Astor)
Jenifa’s Diary documents the life and hilarious hijinks of Jenifa (yep, the same one from the movie trilogy) after she drops out of university to become a hairdresser.
This show began in 2015 and somehow has 18 seasons already. Don’t let this scare you, though, because pretty much every episode is thigh-slappingly hilarious. It’s comedy at its purest form and if you don’t enjoy it, chile, you need help. You can watch all the available episodes on SCENEONETV’s YouTube channel.
4) Skinny Girl in Transit(Suggested by Toke)
Skinny Girl in Transit follows that life of an overweight girl named Tiwalade and her struggles to lose weight and find a man, triggered by her mother’s incessant complaints and emotional blackmailing.
It stars Abimbola Craig, Ngozi Nwosu, Sharon Ooja, Bisola Aiyelola, Ayoola Ayolola and a host of others. The 6th season began on the 14th of February 2020. All episodes are available on NdaniTV’s YouTube Channel.
5) The Johnsons(Suggested by Toheeb)
The Johnsons is a sitcom-style TV series which focuses on the eponymous family, the diverse traits of its many members, and how they cope with life in Lagos, Nigeria in relation to relatable social issues.
It stars Charles Inojie, Chinedu Ikedieze, Ada Ameh, Seun Adebajo Osigbesan, Kunle Bamtefa, and Samuel Ajibola. It airs on Africa Magic.
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Today, we’re going to set aside any memories of being members of the music, literary and debating or 2 Face fan clubs, to pretend that all we’ve ever been are Boy Scouts. Because if there was ever a time to be prepared, that time is now!
With the coronavirus present in Nigeria and rapidly spreading around the world, this is the best time to prepare to ward off any chances of its occurrence in you or your household, by practising social distancing.
What is social distancing?
Social distancing is a way of cutting off or reducing physical contact with other people at work, school, church, mosque, essentially public spaces – to prevent and reduce the chances of the infection spreading.
Imagine this…
You and your friends have a favourite barber. He takes a month-long break, so you decide to try one of the other three remaining barbers in the shop.
But here’s the thing, you’ve seen one of the barbers ruin a person’s hairline to the point where no amount of methylated spirit or prayers could bring it back. And you’ve heard how one of the remaining two is just as bad a hairline terrorist. You just don’t know who. They both look pretty capable.
Your best bet is telling yourself and all your friends to remain home, cutting their hairs themselves, until your barber returns from his month-long break, and the situation goes back to normal.
That’s kind of how social distancing works.
Currently, the world as we know is on a little break, with the coronavirus changing things up. Rather than take unnecessary chances with your health, especially knowing that some people suffering from the coronavirus don’t exhibit the typical symptoms like a persistent cough, a fever and difficulty breathing — the best thing is to avoid unnecessary contact with people, pending the time the disease is contained.
Should everyone observe social distancing, it will leave very little room for the spread of the virus, following which, an actual chance at containment can be realised.
How do I practise social distancing?
You can practise social distancing by limiting the amount of contact you have with other people.
Meaning, where you can manage it, take a break from public spaces like church, public transportation and going in to work. In situations where you can’t, it is advisable that you maintain a space of at least six feet from the next person, especially where they cough or sneeze. As it is believed that the virus, usually spread by mouth or the nose can travel distances that far.
Other safe practices to adopt while the coronavirus is contained.
Observe self-quarantine: This is where you remain at home, away from family or other inhabitants of the home, especially where you may be exhibiting early symptoms of the flu.
Practise self-monitoring: routinely check your temperature and watching out for signs of a respiratory illness like a cough, fever or shortness of breath.
Eating healthy to boost your immunity: stick on vitamin heavy foods and an immunity-boosting diet high in fruits and vegetables.
Remember, should you suspect that you or anyone you’re acquainted with, might have the virus, reach out to the NCDC on the following:
Toll-Free Number: 0800 9700 0010
SMS: 08099555577
WhatsApp: 07087110839
To test your preparedness for the virus, try out this quiz.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
It’s no news that miss Rona is in town. And part of the requirements of avoiding miss Rona’s wrath is social distancing. What this means is that if your company or industry can afford to, they have probably issued a work from home statement.
Alas, we all know we live in a peculiar place with peculiar problems (did someone at the back shout Nepa, Politicians, and Healthcare?). So, what do you need to effectively work from home and not lose your source of income?
Hop in.
It’s very important to continue the same morning rituals even when working from home.
Usual drag yourself out of bed – check.
Cry about adulting in the shower – check.
Wear cloth and spray perfume – check.
It’s crucial that even when you are working from home you maintain the same morning routine because this shifts your brain from rest mode to work mode. Also, getting a dedicated space which is not your bed or room to work from counts. These things help significantly boost your productivity.
Open a mini-filling station.
Three things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and Nigeria disappointing you. The form it takes, in this case, is in the form of Nepa. It is just out of self-preservation to have copious amounts of petrol that can be safely stored on stand by. This is to make sure all your gadgets are sufficiently charged for work. To be fore-warned is to be fuel-armed.
Do what you have struggled to do with your Nigerian parents – Establish boundaries.
Because of the absence of traffic to remind you that you are going to work and re-remind you that you are done for the day, it’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole. This means spending more time working than you usually would. You can end up working from morning till the next day and ruining your already almost ruined work-life balance. Set an alarm for closing time and also buy a whistle. Once the alarm rings, blow the whistle like referees do to signal the end of a match. It’s important to establish a boundary and find balance.
Keep up with office gist.
Don’t let working out of the office stop you from hearing sweet gist. Since everyone is working from wherever that is not the office, there’s no chance for lunch banter and elevator gist. Fix this by keeping in touch via Slack, Zoom, or whatever channel you communicate with at work. Keeping in touch can help with isolation that comes from working alone. Also, don’t let remote work kill your office husband/wife romance.
Finally, say hi to your nosey neighbour.
Every morning, you dash out only to return late at night. Now is the time to get to know your neighbours who have probably been wondering why you think you are better than them. Take regular intervals from work to go outside and stretch and maybe say hi to your neighbours (If you shake them, wash your hands with soap and clean water oh). A change of scenery can help with the fatigue that comes from being in the house all day.
How prepared are you for the Coronavirus? Take this quiz to find out, and don’t forget to share it with people who need to see it.
Did somebody say:
I’m always one to look for silver linings in any situation. So when news of the coronavirus in Nigeria broke, I didn’t fret. Right there for the taking, was a golden payback opportunity, for every Nigerian child who has had to respond with ‘insightful’ to a 400-page essay forwarded by their Nigerian parent in a BC on Whatsapp.
I won’t tell if you won’t, but we’re about to beat our parents at their own game. We’ve been on the receiving end of too many BCs telling us not to use phones in the kitchen and to consume saltwater sandwiches to cure cancer. Here are quick and easy Whatsapp Broadcast messages to send to your parents to have them doing your bidding for good:
“To help fight coronavirus, the government is advising that all forms of daily broadcast messages be stopped.”
“A limit of two broadcast messages per week, no longer than 6 lines is advised.“
“It is advisable that while the coronavirus is around, the elderly engage in exercise.”
“A nameless, faceless medical doctor in India 6 years ago advised that to fight Covid-19, elders should stand to pick up the remote and not call Bola in the next compound when it’s close to them.“
“Mothers please, put down the coronavirus agbo cure someone sold you on the bus.”
“My guy was just trying to make a buck. He probably whipped it up with engine oil in his back yard. 0/10 would not recommend.”
“While the coronavirus rages and henceforth, it has been scientimathematically proven that answering ‘put it on my head’, will no longer work in response to inquires on object placement by your respective children.”
“Signed, management.“
“To prevent annoying the coronavirus in Nigeria, researchers have advised that parents resist asking their older children the question ‘when will you marry’”.
“It’s science that said it, not us.”
“Government said we should tell you that ‘because you’re always pressing phone’ no longer counts as a reason to chastise children.”
“You’re addicted to Whatsapp too daddy. That’s what government said we should tell you.“
What did we leave out? Compose your broadcast messages in the comments below.
Yesterday, we got information about a new case of Coronavirus in Nigeria. In addition, we also got the decision of the Nigerian Government on Covid-19 thanks to the meeting by the Presidential Task Force On Coronavirus. Part of this decision is a travel ban on countries with more than 1000 reported Covid-19 cases.
Govt. of Nigeria is restricting entry into the country for travellers from: China, Italy, Iran, South Korea, Spain, Japan, France, Germany, United States of America, Norway, United Kingdom, Netherlands & Switzerland
These are countries with > 1,000 cases domestically
Today, the Federal Ministry of Health just announced 5 new cases in addition to the previously discovered ones and here’s what we know about the latest development:
@Fmohnigeria has announced 5 new cases of #COVID19 in Nigeria bringing the total number confirmed cases in Nigeria to 8
All 5 cases had a travel history to the UK/USA
We urge Nigerians to remain calm as public health response activities are intensified across the country pic.twitter.com/yoKLHXoxhq
1) These are totally new cases independent of the previously reported ones.
They had a travel history to some of the banned countries on this list.
2) Risk assessment measures and contact tracing are ongoing.
Contact tracing means tracking everyone the infected person has been in touch with to reduce the risk of these people spreading the virus. Read more about it here.
3) The Nigerian Center For Disease Control will provide continuous updates and advice as they know more.
Don’t panic and don’t spread the wrong information.
So, while we await updates, let’s all remember to take the necessary precautions:
This wasn’t the world tour Africa wanted to participate in (side-eye Beyonce), but it’s the one we’re getting anyway. The coronavirus is making its way around the continent, with yet another stop in Nigeria.
While no one hopes for the third time to be the charm that sets off its spread around the country — we’re better off taking proactive steps to make sure it stays out of our way, while we stay safe. Who doesn’t want to go back to living it up in 57 like the good old, pre-corona days.
Noting this, the best practice to observe is self-distancing, aka self-quarantining, to prevent exposure to and the spread of the virus between people. But all that time alone is going to require some careful planning and a ton of supplies. To make this easier for you, we’ve whipped up a list of essential supplies to tide you over until it’s relatively safe to come back out to play.
Food
You do not want to be the family asking your neighbours to send you food via drones during quarantine. Nobody will answer you. Stock up on dry foods like beans, rice etc as well as canned foods which are easily preserved.
We have also declared this period of self-quarantine as cheat season. Get your favourite chocolates, biscuits etc, you deserve it, okay?
Water
If you usually buy one dispenser bottle per week, you might want to consider upping that amount during self-distancing. It’s also very important to stay hydrated during this period, so chug up.
Petrol
Without creating a false scarcity, it would be wise to get a little more petrol in your reserves because NEPA can act up at any time. Do this provided you have enough storage space to safely stow away the fuel.
Drugs
If you require drugs daily, weekly or routinely enough to support your lifestyle, make sure to get enough supplies to last you during the usual period of self-quarantine which is around 14 days. Drugs like painkillers, digestive aids etc should also be stocked on during this time. While self isolating, it’s also important to stock up on flu medicine, just in case you get the flu. While cold and flu tablets do not cure the cold, they provide relief. There’s recommendation that using paracetamol will also help if you’re experiencing any form of pain.
PSA: Do not panic buy drugs you won’t need.
Feminine hygiene products
Even though self-quarantine should typically last around 14 days, it would be advisable to stock up on feminine hygiene products like pads, tampons and panty liners, skin care products. But just enough to cover your period for the month or a maximum of two months, just to be extra prepared.
Men care products
Unless you’re down to return from self-quarantine sporting a beard that won’t connect (we kid!) don’t forget your shaving cream, shaving sticks, beard oil, skincare products etc, all the necessaries to keep it fly during quarantine.
Condoms
Y’all nasty asses buy your usual two-packs. You’re not getting that much action this quarantine. Unless you are, then add one more. We don’t need any quaranteens coming from this period of self-distancing okay?
Soap
All the soap – dish-washing soap, detergent, bar soap, hand washing soap. All of it. It is imperative to keep a clean and hygienic environment during self-quarantines. It’s also very important to keep clean hands while the virus rages.
TV shows
Right before self-quarantine starts, we advise you use the office wi-fi to the max. Get your fill of everything. You’re actually helping if the subscription has been paid for the month. It’s your duty at this point. S1E1 Assistant Madams, leggo!
However, we have one big warning to issue out – we better not see you leaving Shoprite with your supplies looking like this:
Buy only enough to tide you and your family over for around 14 days.
Books
Because Nepa is bound to fuck up, this is a good time to buy books – build that reading culture that you’ve been shouting about since. Get a range of books, not just fiction, get books related to your career, books that can help you pick a skill or two.
There is so much information out there as regards the Coronavirus in Nigeria that it has become hard to separate truth from fiction.
Misinformation is just as deadly as the virus itself so it’s important we get the facts right.
In the name of promoting healthy practices and all-round baby boy and girl living, we the people of Zikoko spoke to a health care practitioner. This is to help us clarify some of the myths about Coronavirus in Nigeria and put us at ease.
1) Black people can’t get the virus.
With the latest reports coming out of African countries about new cases, everyone is at risk of getting infected. There is currently no proof to show that racial difference protects you against being infected.
2) Saltwater can kill viruses.
Unless you are an ordained priest of the church fighting vampires, you have no business with saltwater. Soap, water, and hand sanitizer are the three musketeers that can fight this infection.
3) Heat not only kills workplace productivity, but it also takes along Covid-19 with it?
The temperature required to kill the virus is so high that it’s not practical for everyday use. It would probably kill other unintended things so it’s better to just stick to plain old hand-washing. Soap and clean water are your best friends.
4) After “God forbid”, will a face mask also protect me?
Yes. Only certain types used by healthcare workers have the capacity to protect you. However, surgical masks currently used by the general public don’t have that capacity. Although, it is advisable for infected people to wear surgical masks to reduce the risk of infecting others.
5) The virus is a propaganda by the West.
The Coronavirus is very real and is not a hoax by any Government to incite fear. It is a worldwide emergency, so please take the necessary precautions during this period.
6) My two capsules of antibiotics can protect me from miss Rona.
This is a viral infection so antibiotics don’t have any effect. What you can do is try to eat healthily, get enough sleep, and generally do activities that improve good health I.e staying hydrated.
Remember to take these preventive measures:
While we wait for more updates, we thought of innovative ways to greet your friends outside of hugging and handshaking. Find out about that here.
The Nigerian Government’s Decisions on Coronavirus are now public, thanks to the Presidential Task Force On Coronavirus. They have reached important decisions that will impact almost every Nigerian in the coming day and weeks, but before we get into that, let’s start from the beginning.
On December 31, we saw the beginning of a fast-spreading new virus – the coronavirus. On February 27th, a first case was announced in Lagos, Nigeria. The NCDC has been seemingly on top of the case — reporting new cases and attempting to track down possible cases. As of today, there are only three known cases of the virus in Nigeria.
Nigerians have been clamoring for the president to address the country and for the government to take proactive steps in sensitizing citizens. Some citizens want the borders to be closed and for travel to be banned. Well, in response to this, a Presidential Task Force On Coronavirus (PTF-COVID9) was recently set up by the Nigerian government and here are the decisions they reached on March 17.
1. Nigerians are advised to cancel or postpone all non-essential travel:
PTF-COVID19 Decisions, March 17, 2020
— The general public is strongly advised to cancel or postpone all non-essential travel – whether business or pleasure – abroad, especially to “high-risk countries.” (Will list countries later in thread)
The Nigerian Government is saying that if you don’t have to travel, you shouldn’t travel to places with high-risk. Find some of those countries here.
2. Public officials and civil servants are BANNED from official travel:
— ALL official travel by public officials and civil servants is hereby banned “until further notice.” Approvals previously granted for such travel are accordingly rescinded.
We do honestly hope that this is not spoiling all of our dear president’s travel plans. Just a genuinely concerned citizen here.
3. Anyone that comes into Nigeria from the abroad is to self-isolate for 14 days:
— Everyone traveling / returning to Nigeria from abroad is urged to strictly self-isolate for 14 days in their homes. @NCDCgov has today issued guidelines for self-isolation; these will be widely publicized.
Self isolating simply means staying indoors and completely avoiding contact with other people. This is to stop other people from getting it. It Is important to do this if you’re showing Coronavirus symptoms. Symptoms include runny nose, dry cough, fever. Other times you should self isolate:
Before getting tested for coronavirus.
While you wait for test results.
If you have had a positive test result for coronavirus or been in contact with someone who has tested positve.
Here are six tips to protect yourself from the virus.
4. The Nigerian Centre for Disease Control will be actively monitoring everyone who has come into Nigeria:
No, they don’t want to deliberately spy on you. They want to protect Nigerians and it only applies if you’ve come from a country with high community transmission rates (esp countries with 1,000 cumulative cases and above).
5. We’re to avoid crowded places and practice social distancing:
Social distancing is basically curtailing social contact with people. It might mean working remotely, instead of going to work. The Nigerian Government is urging Nigerians to practice social distancing in order to limit/stop the spread of the disease.
It’s hard considering a lot of states are quite clustered and you may not escape entering danfo. But what can woman do in this perilous times? We’ve made a list of things we think you should avoid.
6. If you’re wondering who is on the Presidential Task Force For The Control Of Coronavirus Disease, here’s a list.
It took the Nigerian government long enough, but we’re glad they’ve spoken; the Nigerian government’s decisions on coronavirus are now public.
We hope they put their money where their mouth is and enforce these decisions.
While we wait for more instructions from the federal government, we thought of innovative ways to greet your friends outside of hugging and handshaking. Find out about that here.
Guess who’s coming to dinner, it’s the rona.
While we all say our collective ‘God forbids’, the reality is that the Coronavirus has done what imported rice cannot do — infiltrated the Nigerian border.
With the new case, the wisest thing to do is to be proactive in taking precautionary steps against the coronavirus in Nigeria. A simple step in that direction is to practice social distancing – where physical space is maintained apart from people to reduce the likelihood of a spread.
With this in mind, here are certain places and things it would be advisable to avoid, pending the time the coronavirus is contained:
Domestic flights.
While the coronavirus is being contained, it is definitely advisable to put off any visits to local destinations. However, where absolutely necessary, domestic flights should be substituted for road travel in self-driven vehicles where possible.
Public transportation.
While this might be difficult to manoeuvre, especially in the states where a genius cut down the modes of transportation; being confined in close quarters with people in your daily commute can greatly increase your chances of catching the coronavirus. Please avoid public transportation where possible.
Clubs.
If it’s easy for a stranger to spill their drink on you at the club, imagine how free-flowing an easily airborne disease would be. 0/10 would not recommend.
Weddings.
Look, we know wedding jollof rice bangs different, but I promise you want to be alive to eat even more of it in years to come. Which is why you should avoid heavily populated weddings at this time. It would also be advisable to scale down the number of guests you have planned for your wedding during this period. Imagine how much you’d save on catering!
Church/Mosques.
There hasn’t been a better time to connect one on one with God on Fridays and Sundays. Congregating is a little risky right now. But if you’d still like to listen to sermons, online preachings should be available.
Gyms.
Think of the Coronavirus as your ‘get out of the gym free card.’ If you actually want to work out, there are plenty of workout videos and guidelines online. Practise that in the comfort of your home within a restrained crowd.
Pharmacies.
An easy place for an unsuspecting victim of the coronavirus to visit is the pharmacy. At this time, it is advisable to avoid these places, resorting to online orders where necessary. The elderly are especially encouraged to send younger people to help purchase drugs on their behalf where this won’t be possible.
Street food.
First off, you shouldn’t even be on the road, let alone consuming food sold on the road. Avoid both instances where possible until a proper handle on the virus is made.
Stay safe everyone. Remember to self-distance and hydrate.
