Since the lockdown started, I’ve been having strange dreams. I didn’t think too much of them at first because my dreams are usually bizarre. But as the lockdown went on, they got even more batshit. This got me wondering if this spike in the weirdness of my dreams had a connection to the mental effects of the lockdown (it totally does). And because I’m an amebo, it also got me wondering what kind of weird dreams other people were having.
So I went ahead and asked around. I’ll start.
“Two weeks ago, I had a dream that I was watching an R-rated version of the 2020 movie, ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’. And because of the way dreams work (where you’re sometimes in them as opposed to just observing), I was IN the movie, running around frantically with everyone else as Doctor Robotnik violently killed people in a bid to draw Sonic out of hiding. Why is this a weird dream? I haven’t even watched Sonic the Hedgehog in real life!”
“I was at a house party, watching myself dance when someone ran up to me (not me exactly but the version of myself I was watching), grabbed me, and screamed, ‘YOUR EYES ARE HURTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE CURRENT EYES!’. Immediately after this, I woke up in a haze. I picked up my phone, googled ‘current eyes’ to see if it meant something (it doesn’t btw), and went back to sleep.”
“I think the strangest dream I’ve had in the last few weeks was the one where mop hairs started growing out of my crotch in place of pubic hair. Yeah, like the mops for cleaning floors. It was horrifying! The more I cut them, the more they grew. I shaved so hard until I began bleeding. It was just like that scene in ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ where Angel’s father walks into the bathroom and finds him frantically cutting off his wings with a knife. It was so random and disturbing. I still haven’t been able to look at mops the same way.”
“I was going on vacation with my family to London. To show you how detailed this dream was, I knew in the dream that we were flying with KLM. Got on the plane and fell asleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up in Accra. Before I could find out what was going on, I fell asleep again and woke up in Kinshasa. We went straight from the airport to a nice big house where a wedding was taking place. I wandered off during this wedding and got lost in the house. As I was trying to find my way out, I woke up. I’ve never been to the Republic of the Congo or Ghana.”
“I had sex with 8 men on the same night. Look, I’m not a child. I’ve had sex dreams before but not on this level. What made this weirder is that it wasn’t at an orgy or something. It happened in quick succession. It was like a series of dreams. Every time I woke up from one sex dream and went back to sleep, there would be another guy (my spec) waiting to rock my world. I messed up my hip IN THESE DREAMS because of all the thrusting. Best sex of my life (real or imaginary)! I would not mind one (or all) of those guys returning at some point sha. I can’t go out because of Corona but body no be firewood. And there’s only so much your hands can do, you know? Lol”
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!