Today is the day of love and kisses, and everyone is sharing love stories like it’s testimony time.
So, we completely understand why you might be tempted to return to that person you swore off many moons ago, in hopes that you too might give your testimony next Valentine’s Day. But read these Nigerians’ stories first before you take that leap.
Derin*, 28
The first time my ex and I dated, we were together for nine months. It was great but also a toxic because he was reckless with money and always wanted to go clubbing. I was also still in love with my ex at the time. After I passed out of NYSC, we broke up. I was ready to face the real world and adulthood, and he just wanted to evade planning his life.
About a year later, we got back together. He was going to be in my city and reached out to me to reconnect. We lasted two months this time around. But nothing had changed with him. He was still unserious, and when he randomly asked me to dash him ₦200k, I decided it was time to break things off for good.
Ebuka*, 26
My ex and I dated for a year and a half, but we broke up a couple times in between. We were in our early 20s when we met, and we were just in awe of each other until we started drifting apart because of things I’m not even clear about.
After a while, she asked for a breakup. Fast forward three weeks later, she came back and was like, “So, you’re not going to talk to me?” I’ve never responded so fast in my life. I’d even been stalking her WhatsApp. We made up, but I still kept my walls up.
It went on for a year before we finally broke it off and just stuck to catching glances from afar. Then close to my birthday, she came to my house to talk and we tried to make up, but she was with someone else already.
Cynthia*, 23
I don’t think we were ever exclusive, but we saw each other for a year. I hate to admit it, but he was my first love, and I might still be a bit in love with him right now. I got tired of the non-exclusivity and tried to stand on business. It obviously didn’t work because he ghosted me in the middle of exam week.
We didn’t speak for a year after that. Then one day, he appeared with a girlfriend and I was ready to take my L and move on. But he kept talking to me, so we became friends. It started feeling like our village people might have tied our destinies together when he asked me out on a date a little while later. We have chemistry, so the date was great. Then he kissed me at the end of the night and I just remembered the hurt he put me through the first time. I’ve been running ever since. But I never run too far because he always catches up and we start talking again. The feelings rise from the ashes, and we continue fooling ourselves.
We’re currently on our fourth reconnection. I give it two more months before we start exchanging “I love you” again and I run for the hills.
Mide*, 24
We dated for five months, and it was rocky, but it was also a lot of fun. It was the first time I really liked the person I was dating, and I wanted to make it serious. But there were too many things going wrong in my life then, and I was transferring a lot of that aggression to her. I called her a day before Valentine’s Day and ended things. I swear, I’m not proud of it.
I’m not sure how long it took, but I remember missing her terribly and reaching out to her. After courting her for a while, she sent an eight-minute-long voice note, politely advising me to take the friendship route.
Favour*, 22
My ex and I dated for six months. He had an insanely huge ego. He would treat me like someone he didn’t care about, so I just decided to end it.
Then he called me after a month or two, saying I should come back and we’ll figure it out. I genuinely thought he was doing better, but he actually became worse. He’d yell at me, call me names, then he kicked me out after begging me to move in with him. I’ve never experienced such staggering levels of see-finish in my life, and I genuinely feel like he only wanted me back because he couldn’t handle the fact that I actually wanted out.
One day, I just stopped replying his texts, went back to get my things and never looked back.
Bella*, 25
I went back to them just for the sex. I couldn’t connect sexually with anyone else after the breakup, so I figured, why not?
The first time we dated was for a year, and it was good, but we had different goals. He said I was too ambitious, and he wanted someone he could control. When we got back together for the second time, I won’t even lie, it was a lot better than I expected. He was emotionally intelligent and honest. But I tapped out mentally when I realised he didn’t know what he wanted.
Psst! Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
Daniella*, 27
My first boyfriend in uni came up with this stupid idea to tell each other who we were crushing on, so I did. He said he had a crush on my roommate, and I told him I was crushing on his friend. After that day, he started acting weird and just stopped talking to me. My friend asked him what the issue was, and he went on this tangent about how I knew he was insecure about his friend and he didn’t know how to feel about my crush. He sent me a message and ended the relationship.
I just went to my room, laid on the bathroom floor, and cried my eyes out that day. The next day, he finally spoke to me and said he couldn’t handle being away from me, but the thought of his friend and I made him really insecure. He said he’d thought about it for a while and understood better, so we got back together. We still broke up in the end because he kept talking about how he wasn’t enough for me, even though he loved me. Then he ghosted me again, and that was it.
Laolu*, 22
He was my gym trainer, and we were always extra touchy with each other, but we never dated. We fooled around for about six months and only stopped when his girlfriend came back to the country, and I started liking someone else. I had a great time with him and the sex was great.
After a while, we started meeting in random places for sex just because. He tried to make it a real relationship at some point, going on about how he loved me and my boyfriend at the time wasn’t good enough for me, but I wasn’t really interested in dating him at the time, so I paid him no mind.
