Humans are unable to like everyone they’d ever meet. For some people, the person they don’t like is themselves. Here, 6 Nigerians tell us why they don’t like themselves.
The question should have been “why should I like myself?” because that’s more encapsulating of how I feel. I’m a woman. There’s nothing I can do about that, and how my gender alone opens up an avenue for disrespect and harassment. I’m queer in a country that hates queer people. I’m fat and that apparently annoys a lot of people, and most importantly, I’m not rich. Being poor is one of the reasons I don’t like myself. It’s not like I’ve not tried to do anything about it, but Nigeria is hard.
I don’t think I have one particular reason. I’ve always felt less than a person and there’s this deep sadness I feel every time I’m alone with myself. I don’t think there’s anything about myself I actually like. Everything from my personality down to the way I walk really doesn’t sit well with me. Sometimes, when I think of the intense dislike I have for myself, I cry.
I’m currently in therapy because I need to know why I don’t like myself. It’s the main cause of my depression, and I’m really stressed about it. I don’t believe that disliking myself as much as I do is this normal. Sometimes, I think there’s something wrong with my brain, and I want to fix that.
I think I hold myself to unreasonable standards and since I don’t meet them, it leads to a form of self loathing. I spend so much time being hard on myself because of things that most times are beyond my control. I’m stuck constantly wishing I am better than myself and it leads to me not liking who I am currently.
There are a lot of things about myself I don’t like. I don’t like my head and how big it is, the way my legs look, the shape of my eyes, and many other things. I don’t think there’s any part of my body I genuinely like.
I fee like I used to appreciate myself and my eccentricities, but other people have always made me feel like I’m weird and odd. That made me hate those parts of myself that people didn’t like and by extension, made me dislike myself. I’m trying to appreciate who I am more, not necessarily like myself. Just appreciate the little things about myself that somewhat distinguish me from everyone else.
I don’t think I’ve ever liked myself. My body irritates me especially because no matter how hard I work out or change my diet, I look the same. My head is too small, and my fingers are a funny shape. I’m not as tall as I wish I was, and I’m not necessarily the smartest pup in the litter. Sexy is not something you can use to describe me and people don’t put in efforts with me. Personality wise? I think I’m annoying. Would I want to be friends with someone like myself? No. I’m clingy, stupid, ugly and manipulative. I used to hate myself last year, but now it’s just a strong level of dislike. Maybe it’ll get to a point where I can actually like myself or have someone do it for me so it can stop bothering me as much.
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