Choosing to spend the rest of your life with a Nigerian man is not a decision made by the faint-hearted. Here is a list of things you’ll need to have before marrying a Nigerian man.
1. A calabash
You’ll need the calabash to store his love and maybe his destiny, just in case he tries to misbehave or leave. He doesn’t need to know about the calabash, so he doesn’t go behind you and break it.
2. The amour of God
This is a lot more important than the calabash. You need to buy the whole amour of God – thankfully, there’s nothing you can’t buy online. There is only a little difference between Nigerian men and principalities and powers. You’ll be needing a power bigger than him to let that marriage work.
3. Babalawo clothes.
In case the armour of God is not enough, you’ll have the amour of many other gods to join to your power. The main aim of this is to make him know you can’t be messed with. You’ll be able to instil the fear of God into him. By fire, by force.
This might seem like a dramatic approach, but it is not. The kayanmata is needed to add sweetness to your marriage. You have to buy this so your future husband won’t even think of looking outside. Except he is greedy.
5. High heels
The high heels serve two purposes.
- To knock sense into his head if all plans fail.
- To remind him that he isn’t the only one that can be on a high horse whenever he tries to raise shoulders for you.
6. A house
This is specifically for our sisters in Abuja. You need to have a house so your future husband will have a place to sleep, so he can stop sleeping in his car or squatting with friends.