What Would Abbott Elementary Teachers Look Like in a Nigerian School?

April 14, 2022

Not since The Office have we seen a workplace comedy as fun as Abbott Elementary. Created by Twitter sensation, Quinta Bronson, the show introduces us to the crazy teachers in the fictional public school, Abbott Elementary. Even though the show has wrapped up for the year, we can’t seem to get these teachers out of our minds. What would it look like if we took them out of Abbott, and placed them in Nigerian schools? Let’s find out.  

1. Janine Teagues as the I-too-know Fine Arts or Music teacher 

Janine is that teacher you try so hard to avoid, but you just can’t seem to escape her. For some reason, she always has a bubbly personality as if she’s not suffering in Nigeria like the rest of us. Always in charge of extra-curricular activities, she’s probably the teacher leading the debate club, the boring mid-term excursion or the end-of-year party’s choreography. Sis, rest abeg. She truly enjoys teaching, and if you let her, she’ll introduce herself to your family and become your lesson teacher.

2. Gregory Eddie as the strict Mathematics or Intro-Tech teacher

Teachers like Greg are always super annoying. Yes, we know our education is important, but, please, sir, be calming down. He’s the type of teacher to bombard you with assignments and give impromptu tests because he wants to “stimulate and ascertain the depths of one’s intellectual reserve”. The only redeeming quality about Greg is his good looks. And the annoying thing is, he probably doesn’t even know it. Shame. 

3. Barbara Howard as the bougie French or Home Econs teacher

She’s the religious, bougie teacher who speaks British English. She’s probably going to teach a fancy subject that doesn’t stress her too much, because all she really wants to do is drag students to her office during lunch break to talk about Jesus Christ. She’s good at her job without putting too much effort into it and will most likely get along with your parents. Fun fact: her husband drops and picks her up from school every day, and her nail colour is always red or purple. 

RECOMMENDED: We Replaced the Bridgerton Season Two Cast With Nigerian Actors

4. Ava Coleman as the short, skirt-wearing principal full of vibes and enjoyment

If there’s one thing we know about Principal Ava is that this woman is all vibes. She’s the type of principal who’ll change her name from Ijeoma to “IJ Baby” on a whim. Will she run the school to the ground and be the worst principal? Yes. But you can always count on her to make every graduation ceremony and prize-giving day lit AF! She’s also the type of principal that’ll tell your parents all the rubbish you did in school, just so she can famz with them and collect gifts once in a while. She’s incompetent as hell, but her fashion game will always be on point and hair will always be laid to slay. Purr. 

5. Jacob Hill as the “I want to be cool” NYSC teacher

Do you remember that NYSC teacher that always acted like he knew all the happening slangs and popping songs? Yes, that’s Jacob. Teachers like this are so desperate to connect with students, that it can start to become very irritating. You’re not one of us, sir; go and play with your age mates. 

6. Melissa Schemmenti as the easygoing Social Studies teacher 

She has all the tea about everyone in school. If you check, you’ll also see that her classes are fun because she’s always going off-topic with crazy “back in my days” gist. Students love her because she doesn’t eat into free periods and rarely has the energy to punish anybody. The coolest teacher for real. 

7. Mr. Johnson as the oversabi non-academic staff member

He’s not a teacher, but he’s constantly snitching on students to the principal. No one knows his full name, so he tends to go by Baba-Something. He’s either the bus driver, security guard or school cleaner. If you check the records, he’s probably been in that school since they opened. Major ancient-of-days vibe.

ALSO READ: What If Ozark Was a Nigerian TV Show?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 29, 2019

Nollywood doesn’t get enough credit. While it is recognised for its productivity – it is the 3rd largest movie industry in the world – and for exporting Nigerian culture, what most people won’t tell you is that Nollywood is also a place where dreams come true, whether they’re good dreams or nightmares. It’s a place […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2022

Just three months to the start of the 2023 elections, the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Senator Abdullahi Adamu, started a beef with the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). It wasn’t about electoral violence or vote buying but rather a new feature of the 2023 elections. The APC national chairman believes Nigeria […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from Just Imagine

August 6, 2021

Two days ago, I asked Nigerians to share what would happen if Nigeria hosted the Olympics and just as I expected, they did not disappoint. Not only did they understand the assignment, they spiral-binded the whole thing and submitted a day in advance. Taking a page from their assignment, I have decided to compile it […]

July 30, 2021

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji* So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you. It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your […]

July 23, 2021

What’s not to love about ATMs? If you just ignore the long queues, bad network, and occasional swallowing of cards, ATMs are a lifesaver.  They do their jobs and let you go about your day. But what if you were stuck in a parallel universe where ATMs could speak? It’s 5 a.m. A young man […]

July 16, 2021

GPS technology is very simple. You input a location, and it gets you to where you need to be. Clear cut and No drama. Except when the GPS is voiced by your Nigerian mother. Heavy sigh. It’s morning and a guy, casually dressed, steps into his Mercedes Benz and turns on the ignition. As the […]

July 9, 2021

Nigerians parents would rather walk into a crocodile-infested river than spend two minutes in a room with a cat. You now bring a woman, who claims to be a cat, to meet your parents? Disaster.  On this episode of #JustImagine, Catwoman meets her Nigerian in-laws and things get very weird. There is a small crowd […]

July 2, 2021

When you take a closer look, Romeo and Juliet is a classic Nigerian story. Boy meets Girl. They fall in love. But their parents refuse to agree to a union due to irreconcilable differences. Sounds familiar? The only part of this story that doesn’t quite gel is the dying part. Nigerian men will say they’d […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X