Once upon a time, I recapped an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity. The article’s popularity made me turn my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc) and recap them for your pleasure.

Today, I will be recapping the music video for Seyi Sodimu’s hit song, “Love Me Jeje.”

Seyi Sodimu is a Nigerian singer-songwriter who rose to fame in 1997 when he released his smash hit single, “Love Me Jeje. It featured vocals from singer and actress, Shaffy THEE Bello.

Love me jeje

This song was everywhere. As a human living in Nigeria in the late 90s, you couldn’t avoid the song or its music video. I heard about it for the first time in Sunday school where the teacher told the class — full of children less than 10 years old — that if we listened to this song or any others like it, we were condemning ourselves to an eternity of hot girl summer in hell, right next to other people who sang secular songs, like Fela and Michael Jackson (which is insane because it would be another 12 years before Michael Jackson died).

A Bottle of Jameson

Sunday school in the 90s was brutal.

But we’re not here today to talk about my Christianity-inspired childhood trauma. We’re here to talk about the music video for “Love Me Jeje.” I wrote about the music video’s plot a while back but I will be expanding on that today.

The video starts with Seyi Sodimu himself walking into a bar with two bodyguards flanking him. It’s clearly daytime and the bar is PACKED. I take this to mean that everybody in the bar has a serious drinking problem that will consume (or has already consumed) them in due time.

As Seyi’s bodyguards are trying to find a place for him to sit, the video cuts to Shaffy Bello seated at the bar. She spots Seyi and is like:

Love me jeje

Then we see her doing her makeup in front of the ocean for some reason.

Love me jeje

This video is like 70% green screen. My theory is that the director got access to the technology and lost his mind with it.

Sang by Shaffy Bello, the chorus goes, “Every day I think of you. Every night I think of you” which is weird seeing as she’s seeing him for the first time. But whatever, I guess. Seyi starts the first verse by singing…

…which supports my theory that everyone present is battling alcoholism. Because why is he in a bar if he’s clean and sober?? He sees Shaffy sitting at the bar and approaches her with a look on his face that says:

He asks Shaffy her name but as she answers, a sassy broad in an incredibly 90s two-piece outfit and a synthetic wig comes and steals Seyi away. Shaffy is left sitting at the bar like:

Shaffy refuses to back down and decides to fight back. The problem is that the scene where she does this was probably left on the cutting room floor. I say this because the video just cuts from a shot of the sassy broad bringing Seyi to the yard with her milkshake…

…to him dancing after Shaffy as she sashays down the dance floor.

We stan a strong, independent woman who goes after what she wants. UP FEMCO!!!

The video’s plot is chaotic because as he’s singing to Shaffy and hyping her up, he’ll randomly go rock other women.

Men were scum in the 90s too.

My favourite thing about this video is the group of extras they used, who seemingly received no direction whatsoever on what to do or how to dress so they just shuffled about in the background at different energy levels, while dressed for completely different occasions. Like this guy:

This guy:

This guy:

This guy:

This guy:

This guy who is clearly sick of the whole thing:

This woman, who bravely wears a pantsuit out on an afternoon out to pick up men.

And the bar’s DJ, who just looks happy to be included.

I leave you with this awkward GIF of extras being forced to dance while the others watch:

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.