Once upon a time, I recapped an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity. The article’s popularity made me turn my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc) and recap them for your pleasure.

Today’s book is titled, “How To Overcome The Deadly Sin Of Lust”.

Meme aside, I want to know if this guy made it and what he did to piss the hippo off so much.

The book starts with insisting that the deadliest disease in the world is LUST. Not Ebola. Not AIDS. Not cancer. LUST. Seeing such a wild declaration so early in the book let me know the kind of wild ride I was in for.

THE DEADLY SIN OF LUST

The author starts this chapter proclaiming that a lot of people on earth are just living corpses because they’ve all allowed themselves to be engrossed by the things of the world. He specifically goes out of his way to chastise people for judging others based on looks. Maybe the object of the author’s desire once judged him based on looks and he never got over it. Who knows?

The author goes on to say that God sees everything and won’t let anyone with LUST in their hearts into heaven. He also says that the sin of LUST originated in the garden of Eden when Eve, thanks to the snake, LUSTED after knowledge by eating the fruit. He then goes on define LUST in approximately 2000 words.

YAS, KING! SERVE US VERBOSE REALNESS!

THE MULTIPLE BIRTHS OF LUST

The chapter starts with the author listing out the many evils that have been birthed by the spirit of LUST, and all this brought to mind was that one scene in Game of Thrones where Melissandre gives birth to the shadow demon who promptly proceeds to kill some guy. There are 61 evils and this asshole doesn’t even put them in list form. He just separates them with commas, turning it into the world’s longest, most annoying sentence.

My secondary school English teacher is rolling in his…tiny ass apartment.

What follows is a list of things humans LUST after (another long-ass list) and a description of the spirit of LUST that made it sound like The Nothing

from “The Never Ending Story”.

I do love that he goes after prosperity preachers sha.

That super-rich American pastor with the mega-church who refused to open his doors to the survivors of Hurricane Harvey until the world blasted him is SHAKING RIGHT NOW!

HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THE DEADLY SIN OF LUST?

Even though the author has previously pointed out that the spirit of LUST and its modes of transportation (media) are the problems, he starts this chapter by saying this:

Hmmm. Smells like victim blaming to me.

1) REALIZE: This point says for you to realize that LUST is the deadliest disease to have ever existed and that harbouring the spirit of LUST in your heart will affect the futures of you and your descendants.

2) TOTALLY STOP: Stop watching television and shit.

3) DISCIPLINE: Be disciplined enough to stay away from porn on the internet.

4) TOTALLY DISCHARGE: I don’t know what the hell that title was about but this point says for you to destroy anything capable of sparking LUST in your heart. E.g. the object of your affection, all worldly music, magazines, and movies. That includes that VCD of the porn classic, Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge, you have stashed away in the back of your wardrobe. Instead, channel all that porn money into buying church pamphlets.

5) OBSERVE: “Monitor what your children watch on television. Restrict them to educational and soul-building programs only.” JESUS CHRIST

6) SEMINARS: “Be very careful of the kinds of seminars you attend or social gathering. Most of the seminars and motivational speeches offered around will breed lust.” What kind of seminars has this author been attending?

7) REJECT RECREATION OR LEISURE TIME: “Spend all your free time studying God’s word, reading or listening to soul-saving messages.” HIAN. NO free time? EVER?

Until next week. ✌️

OUR MISSION

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.