The Old Nollywood Guide To Falling In Love

June 19, 2020

Old Nollywood movies all had the same formula for falling in love, and the couples always seemed to live happily ever after. So, here are some tips and tricks that can help you trap meet the love of your life.

1. Find someone significantly poorer than you.

The bigger the wealth gap, the stronger the love.

2. Hit that person with your car.

Not too hard sha, you can’t go and kill your future spouse.

3. Pretend to be poor so they fall in love with the “real you”.

As per rich people are artificial.

4. Go eat jollof rice at Mr. Biggs.

…or any other poorly-lit eatery.

5. Slowly sip juice through straws.

While looking lovingly into each others’ eyes.

6. Run on the beach and ride a horse together.

This is the peak of your romance.

7. Chase each other around the nearest tree.

In slow motion, of course.

8. Push each other on a swing set.

While laughing and smiling at nothing in particular.

9. Throw popcorn at each other.

While Celine Dion plays in the background.

10. Go shopping at a “boutique”.

…and never look at the price.

11. Feed each other icecream.

Then playfully smear a little on their nose.

12. Have someone bitterly scheming to break you up.

Either the secretary or the housegirl.

13. Have your parents irrationally disapprove of the relationship.

The more ridiculous their reasons, the stronger your love.

14. Prayerfully overcome all the haters.

Your love must win.

15. Marry and finally have sex fully-clothed under the covers.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY.

You'll like this

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz:

More from Pop

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X