The Old Nollywood Guide To Falling In Love

June 19, 2020

Old Nollywood movies all had the same formula for falling in love, and the couples always seemed to live happily ever after. So, here are some tips and tricks that can help you trap meet the love of your life.

1. Find someone significantly poorer than you.

The bigger the wealth gap, the stronger the love.

2. Hit that person with your car.

Not too hard sha, you can’t go and kill your future spouse.

3. Pretend to be poor so they fall in love with the “real you”.

As per rich people are artificial.

4. Go eat jollof rice at Mr. Biggs.

…or any other poorly-lit eatery.

5. Slowly sip juice through straws.

While looking lovingly into each others’ eyes.

6. Run on the beach and ride a horse together.

This is the peak of your romance.

7. Chase each other around the nearest tree.

In slow motion, of course.

8. Push each other on a swing set.

While laughing and smiling at nothing in particular.

9. Throw popcorn at each other.

While Celine Dion plays in the background.

10. Go shopping at a “boutique”.

…and never look at the price.

11. Feed each other icecream.

Then playfully smear a little on their nose.

12. Have someone bitterly scheming to break you up.

Either the secretary or the housegirl.

13. Have your parents irrationally disapprove of the relationship.

The more ridiculous their reasons, the stronger your love.

14. Prayerfully overcome all the haters.

Your love must win.

15. Marry and finally have sex fully-clothed under the covers.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 19, 2021

Not everyone hates their exes, some people still have fond memories of the ones who got away. Sometimes, relationships don’t work for reasons beyond our control and some people still hold their exes dear to them. Here are what some people have to say about their favourite ex: David, 35 I have known her since […]

December 16, 2019

Oxlade — “Craze” ft. Reekado Banks Afro Nation Ghana, the upcoming music beach festival, is one of the most anticipated African events of the month, and in a bid to get people even more excited, the festival recently dropped a star-studded body of work, Afro Nation Vol. 1. A standout track off the project is “Craze”, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Pop

Hollywood conference
July 2, 2022

The 12th edition of ZUFF, Nollywood’s major film festival, raised the question of whether the world’s second-largest film market by the number of films can tap the continent’s huge film-making potential and leverage changing economic and technological realities.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X