Everyone knows that Chiby Iwobi is the undisputed king of nightlife in Lagos. From South Socials to HardRock, Chiby has the whole of Lagos by the neck, sometimes literally.
So who better to give us tips on how to throw a sick party than the man himself?
Long Islands that’ll have people seeing their forefathers on the dance floor
What is a party without long island? This drink is the master of chaos because of how it shows everyone’s true colours. The best part is no one can tell when it’ll hit, so you could be acting all calm and before you know it, your inner werey has been exposed to the world and you’re in a corner texting your ex, “I miss you.”
To ensure people survive the heat, you have to make sure they pull up dressed like seduction is their first and middle name. I’m talking ashawo shorts, shirts unbuttoned to the navel, show me your backs and spaghetti tops. If you combine all the fabric in this party, it mustn’t be more than five yards.
Someone feeding everyone tequila like it’s Nutri C
Everyone who comes to my parties knows this is my job. Once you pull up, I will feed you tequila. If you’re too busy to do this yourself, make sure you have a friend pouring tequila down everyone’s throat so they can loosen up.
Heat and sweat
Are you really having fun if you’re not sweating like a conductor under Oshodi bridge traffic at 8 p.m. on a Monday evening? The heat and the sweat are a core part of party culture. Get into it.
People from the TL
A party is only as good as the conversation people are having about it on the interwebs. You need people to login to Twitter and have fomo. They should be choking and crying in a corner because they missed your party. Intense heartbreak!
Adventurous people and drunkards
You can’t have a party where everyone is sober and acting normal. That is a big no-no. Everyone present must be ready to lose their home training at any fucking time!
People looking to find love or scatter other people’s relationships
For a party to really hit, you need a mixture of people looking to get cuffed and people looking to scatter other people’s relationships. One way or the other, cuffing will occur, and you’ll get to attend a wedding by Saturday morning.
Dim lights so people can’t tell their exes from their current baes
One minute you’re dancing with the love of your life, and the next thing, you’re receiving a lap dance from your university ex or that sneaky link whose number you saved as “Edible Catering”. You can blame the lights all you want, but the heart wants what it wants.
Speed dating with tech bros
Everyone is looking for a tech bro these days, so imagine a party where you have tech bros and people looking to date tech bros?
DJ Tohbad in the dj booth tearing shit up
I have the baddest DJ in Lagos, so please find yours. That’s all I can say.