Dear Nollywood, Come and Explain These Ridiculous Scenes, Please

March 24, 2022

Nigerian movies have evolved greatly over the years, and we applaud Nollywood for that. However, you look at some scenes from Nollywood movies over the years and you just wonder what exactly was going through the minds of the writers responsible for them. Scenes like: 

1. The scene in Stolen Bible where Jesus jumps off the cross to chase Kate Henshaw’s character around for being a kleptomaniac.

In what has to be the funniest nightmare sequence of all time. Kate Henshaw’s character in this movie is catholic and goes to pray in front of a statue of Jesus on the cross. She is so much of a sinner, that Jesus is disgusted, jumps off the cross and chases her away. 

2. That scene in Blood Sisters where Esther hangs from a tree

Why’s Esther hanging from a tree with her eyes open and her tongue out? How did she, a blind person, pull all of that off? The scene is so cringe and funny. I’m sure Genevieve has a good laugh whenever she remembers it. 

READ: I Watched The Nollywood Movie “Blood Sister” So You Don’t Have To

3. MI’s sudden appearance in Namaste Wahala

Namaste Wahala has many questions to answer and one of them is MI’s sudden appearance. He literally appears out of thin air like a genie. Let’s not get into the violent product placement in that film. 

4. Why was Nneka’s bumbum outside in Nneka The Pretty Serpent?

Nneka jumps into a river (or whatever that is) and her clothes somehow disappear so she has to kill a couple on the shore to take theirs. Do you know how crazy this sounds? Nneka the Pretty Serpent gets a solid one star for this. And that one star is because Idia Aisien, the lady who played Nneka, is fine AF. 

5. The entire Chief Daddy 2

Apologies for flogging a dead horse, but we need to speak on this. We can’t point to one scene in this movie because the whole movie is nothing but a mad joke. 

6. The remarkable Fufu scene in Mark Of The Beast

In this scene, the pastor is about to eat a plate of fufu so he prays over it but the fufu rejects the blessings and calls him an idiot because the fufu is possessed by the devil. LMFAO

7. Homosexual lunch turned public display of humiliation – Brought to you by Men In Love

John Dumelo and Muna Obiekwe are having homosexual lunch at a restaurant in matching shirts when Muna’s ex-boyfriend comes in and starts screaming, ’BOYFRIEND SNATCHER!” at John Dumelo.

8. That one scene in Mr and Mrs Jejeloye where they’re fighting themselves and their in-laws

Yoruba movies are funny and unhinged, and this scene proves it. The couple is fighting with themselves and sticking with each other to fight people who try to come between them. Pure comedy. 

9. “I never knew you were a harlot” – Blood Sisters

This is one of my favourite scenes of all time. I even learnt the letter by heart. “Don’t try to look for me because if you do, I will disgrace you”. Big ups to the comedian person who scripted this scene. 

10. A round of applause? Sorry, a round of slaps. 

I searched far and wide for the title of this film and couldn’t find it so I’ve decided to title it A Round of Slaps starring Mike Ezuruonye and his girlfriends.

CONTINUE READING: Nollywood, You Won’t Die If You Stop Doing These Things


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