6 Things About Merlin That Still Make Me Angry

February 20, 2020

The fantasy-adventure drama TV series, Merlin, aired for 5 seasons from 2008 – 2012 on BBC One. The show was wildly popular in Nigeria, with DVD store owners ripping off unsuspecting fans of the show by selling them discs containing shitty film adaptations of the Arthurian legend.

Even though it’s been over for 8 years now, there are things about the show that still bother me. Like how:

1) Merlin was a one-trick pony.

Throughout the show, Gaius never shuts up about how much power Merlin has and how he’s destined to do great things. However, the only spell we see Merlin cast 80% of the time is “Tospringe,” an unlocking spell. (Similar to the Harry Potter universe’s “Alohomora.”) Even worse, Merlin is useless during magical duels, only casting spells to knock his enemies down in slow motion for a few seconds.

2) Was no one really guarding that dragon?

After Merlin arrives in Camelot, he learns about the Great Purge, a raid twenty years earlier during which the King, Uther Pendragon, outlawed magic and killed all the dragons except one named Kilgharrah, who he imprisoned in a cave beneath the castle. Merlin (being a dragonlord) hears Kilgharrah down in the cave and goes there to talk to him, which is insane. Because, how does a king imprison a freaking dragon beneath his castle and then not assign guards to watch it?? For the remainder of the show’s run, Merlin waltzes in and out of that cave with the ease of someone going into their kitchen to grab a snack and I’m still confused.

3) Morgana had only six gowns.

Girl, ignore all that text on the image above. That’s an edit made by a fan that gave the show’s costume department too much credit. I get that a character can’t have an unlimited number of costumes. But still, for a princess, she should’ve had more.

Side Note: I LOVE Katie McGrath but her British accent on the show was terrible. She slipped in and out of it so many times, she gave Thandie Newton in the Half of a Yellow Sun movie a run for her money.

4) Why did the writers have Arthur and Morgana flirt heavily with each other in the show’s early episodes if they were later going to reveal them to be half-siblings?

I haven’t seen unintentional incestuous drama this messy since the original Star Wars trilogy. Even worse, Uther, knowing the truth, stood by and let it happen for some reason. It’s wild because they lived so close to each other and could’ve scheduled a genital bump session anytime. Christ.

5) The person in charge of Guinevere’s wardrobe clearly didn’t have Angel Coulby’s best interests at heart.

90% of Guinevere’s dresses were designed to hold her breasts up to her neck, a thing that couldn’t have been the character’s fashion choice because she was poor as shit. I remember always being super concerned when watching her scenes, wondering how much discomfort she must’ve been in while filming.

6) WTF was that ending??

In the show’s two final episodes, the writers go on a killing spree, in what I suspect was an attempt to shove as many tiny knives as possible into the hearts of fans. But the biggest knife is when Arthur dies before Merlin can save him. Merlin is distraught because now the prophecy of Arthur uniting Albion will never be fulfilled, but Kilgharrah tells him that Arthur will indeed rise again in Albion’s greatest hour of need. Fast forward to present day and we get a glimpse of an old, immortal Merlin still waiting for Arthur to rise up.

So in what I assume was millennia, Albion’s greatest hour of need never came? Is that hour of need Brexit?? Will Merlin’s watch ever end???

While you’re here, click here to take a quiz to see how much you remember from the show, Merlin.

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