We like to look back fondly at popular Nigerian dances. But you wanna hear some truth? Even though those dances were fun (albeit stressful as shit), a lot of them made the people who did them look like Victorian-era children battling polio. Here are 6 of those dances:

1) Atlanta:

There are only 2 ways to describe this dance

  • Trying to claw your stomach open because you mistakenly swallowed a few of those flesh-eating insects from The Mummy (1999).
  • You’re writhing in pain because you got impregnated by one of the aliens from Alien so now the offspring is about to burst out of your torso.

2) Galala:

This dance requires the dancer to squeeze their face, half- squat like they’re about to take a shit in a filthy toilet, and then throw their legs all over the place. That’s too much of a workout for a “fun” dance.

3) Suo:

This dance required the dancer to squat and repeatedly pull the rope of an imaginary generator. This is why I strongly believe that this dance would fit in perfectly on the list of punishments in hell (if it’s not there already).

4) Shoki:

I mean, everything about this dance screamed nervous disorder.

5) Skelewu:

There is no way this dance was good for the spine.

6) Zanku:

This dance is what people imagine when they hear about Restless Leg Syndrome for the first time. The “gbese!” part of it is the worst because what if the leg you land on slips, leaving you to scatter on the floor like a crate of eggs?

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