10 Violent Lies Every Unemployed Person Has Told At A Job Interview

July 16, 2020

Unemployment is a terrible thing. It’s ten times worse in Nigeria. Today, I remembered all the promises I made before getting my current job. After talking to some friends about it, I realized we are all living the same lives.

Here a few violent lies we have all told:

1) “This is my dream job.”

Truth: Help me, I don’t want to be poor.

2) “I can work long hours.”

Truth: I was only joking. It was just a joke.

3) “This is how much I earned at my previous job.”

Truth: I have inflated the peanut I was earning by 3 in the hopes that I can finally leave poverty behind. For good.

4) “I like additional responsibility.”

Truth: I can die if you give me more work.

5) “In 5 years time, I still see myself in this company.”

Truth: I am using this job to raise funds for Canada.

6) “I work well under pressure.”

Truth: If you stress me too much, I can die.

Fainting man. Zikoko Half-naked

7) It’s not even about the money, it’s about passion.”

Truth: Yimu.

8) “I am looking for a challenge.”

Truth: I am super super lazy.

9) “I don’t mind the distance.”

Truth: Cries internally.

10) “I am ready to resume as soon as you need me.”

Truth: Can you just be paying me while I sit at home?

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 16, 2019

Trying to find a job in Nigeria that brings you joy can feel like you’re looking for a microscopic needle in a very messy haystack. So, we’ve created a quiz that will try its very best to guess when exactly you’ll luck out and finally land that dream job. Take it and see:

March 31, 2020

“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. Today’s subject is *Yemi, a 27-year old sex worker who tells us how […]

April 14, 2020

“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. Today’s subject is *Agnes, a nurse currently caring for Covid patients. She tells […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 22, 2021

FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) is also known as female circumcision and it is the cutting of some or all of the external female genitalia. It has been criminalized in some countries, but not all. Unfortunately, there have been millions of women who have been victims of this act. Six African women talk about their experience […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

More from Hustle

January 12, 2021

“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is an Alaga Iyawo. These […]

December 29, 2020

On March 10 2020, I published the first-ever “A Week In The Life” story. It addressed the struggles of a female Keke driver who was punching her weight in a male-dominated field while also doubling as a breadwinner. This theme of understanding people’s work struggles set the tone for the rest of the episodes in the series. Since then, […]

December 22, 2020

On March 10 2020, I published the first-ever “A Week In The Life” story. It addressed the struggles of a female Keke driver who was punching her weight in a male-dominated field while also doubling as a breadwinner. This theme of understanding people’s work struggles set the tone for the rest of the episodes in […]

December 9, 2020

People quit their jobs for various different reasons; financial reasons, change in career, you know the rest. We asked Nigerians to tell us the prettiest reasons they quit their jobs. Some of the responses will leave you shocked. Note: Names of respondents have been changed for anonymity 1. Soji, 29 I had a job when […]

December 1, 2020

“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a twenty-six-year-old fish specialist. […]

November 30, 2020

If you read today’s Naira Life, you’ve probably been triggered. However, there is hope. We’ve put together a guide for you to figure out how to get your money up. And the first step is to find out if you are underpaid by your employer. Come along on this journey: 1) You’re not earning in […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X