The Nigerian federal government is the big boy who borrows money to keep his swag alive. But how long will this go on for?

It’s probably time to sort our debts out once and for all, and we have a few ideas on how to make this happen.

Borrow from other African countries

During times like this, it’s best to get help from those close to you. We can just get other African countries to pay our debts and sort them out later. They’re our brothers and sisters, after all.

Seize the politicians’ expensive property

The Federal Government should start from the top and cut off bonuses and unnecessary expenses like lawmakers’ newspaper and wardrobe allowances. Reduce their salaries too. 

Let’s use the money to pay back some of our debt. It’s a small sacrifice to make for our beloved nation.

Or let Nigerians contribute

Trust Nigerians in the goodness of their hearts to come through for the country. So seek their faces for assistance, FG. Small contributions here and there and money will complete before you know it.

Try GoFundMe

Maybe if Nigeria shouts that we’re broke and cries out to the world for help, people will come to our aid and we may sort out our debt and possibly cashout, too. It may look like a skit, but who knows where our helpers will come from?

Cry to God

For a country that’s super religious, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t let God be in charge of Naija’s finances. There’s nothing He can’t do.

Deny the debts

If all options to pay back fail, maybe all Nigeria needs to do is deny that it owes anyone money. After all, when it comes to unlooking, Nigeria is the father of invention.

Close the country and run away

If denying the debts doesn’t work, Nigeria might as well close shop and run away for a bit. When the collectors come for their money, we’ll tell them our president and the powers that be aren’t around. The citizens didn’t take out the loans, right?

Our Burning Ram Meat Festival is on the way.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.