You’re Not A Man If You Can’t Do These 11 Things

August 26, 2020

Many people seem to have different ideas of what it means to be a man. Here’s our own addition to that list:

1) If you can’t fight off armed robbers.

Without any weapon.

2) If you can’t kill a snake.

Using only your hands.

3) If you can’t cheat quietly.

Why must you always confess to your partner? or get caught? Women that cheat quietly, do they have two heads?

4) If you can’t repair the gen when it spoils.

Get off it my dear.

5) If you can’t hold your tears.

Big boys don’t cry.

6) If you can’t lift a bag of cement.

You don’t want to work for your 2k at the site abi?

7) If you also can’t carry a bag of rice.

Read the above.

8) You’re definitely not a man if you can’t read your babe’s mind.

This is a life saving skill any real Nigerian man possesses.

9) If you want gifts outside of singlets and boxers, you’re disqualified you from being a man.

Real men take their gifts with a big smile.

10) Did I hear skin care? Not a man.

See your mouth like Vitamin C serum.

11) If you don’t have a secret family, then you’re not a man.

This is the final test before you graduate.


Hello Zikoko fam, something is coming soon. A series for men by men about men.

Watch this space:

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 31, 2021

The Nigerian society can be quite conservative. While the majority of older Nigerians struggle to enforce these religious and colonial-era dictates, a new crop of men is questioning the norm by wearing hairstyles outside the usual low-cut and cleanshaven look. I spoke to five of those men about their experiences going against the grain in […]

December 27, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 27, 2021

With Nigerian Aunties, it is one of two things. Either they make life soft or a living hell for you. There’s the one that is basically your elder sister and the one that is always in your business 24/7. Here are 8 types of Nigerian aunties. 1.The rich Nigerian aunty This type of Nigerian aunty is […]

two women with curly hair
July 27, 2021

If you found out your younger sex was having sex, how would you react? We spoke to three Nigerian women about how they found out that their younger sisters were sexually active and how they reacted. Here’s what they had to say:  IB, 24 One day, we were gisting and she said,  “You know I’m […]

July 27, 2021

Smartphone brand, TECNO, has just received the 2021 Beacon of Information and Communications Technology (BoICT) Award for “Mobile Phone Brand of the Year”. This will make it the second time the brand will be getting this recognition after it did in 2020. This achievement reaffirms TECNO’s innovative capabilities as a leader in the mobile phone […]

July 26, 2021

If making money on your own has proved futile, then maybe it’s time to find money other people are not using urgently. Please, pay attention, these are multi-billion dollars tips. 1. Go to Agent Fash Seek out Agent Fashola for special tutorials in the art of finding ‘The Unseen.’ 2. Pray and fast If flesh […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Man Dem

July 26, 2021

Evil Nigerian women are like little devils, roaming around, looking for whom to devour. Thanks to Momsy’s prayers, you have managed not to fall into the grasp of evil Nigerian women. If you have, my condolences to you. May affliction not rise a second time. If it had already risen a second time, you need […]

July 12, 2021

If you date Nigerian men, here are some of the kinds you might enter into a relationship with or have already been in a relationship with. 1) Oedipus complex This kind of man only dates women who look like, talk like and act like his mother. Whenever you hang out, he brings his mother into […]

July 12, 2021

Alcoholism is a thing that many people suffer from and alcoholism exists in many degrees and affects people in so many ways. Today, we asked five Nigerian men how their alcoholism affected them and how they go on the track of sobriety. Daniel, 30. I started drinking when I was in my second year at […]

July 11, 2021

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to […]

July 8, 2021

There are men, and there are alpha males. One of the easiest ways for people to identify you as an alpha male is for you to do these nine things. 1) Never use an umbrella Alpha males allow rain to flog them like someone that stole meat from the market. It is emasculating for any […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X