Noticing the two hair strands on your chin
At this point, it’s unclear whether you’re finally growing a beard or your body’s just playing a prank on you. But you stroke your chin in front of the mirror every day while visualizing your imaginary beard.
Using spirit makes it grow
You’ll do this until you realize you’re doing nothing but sterilising your chin. Chances are you gave up on this plan.
Shaving your beards more often to make them grow
You did this because of one half-baked theory that said it works. But that’s how you get bumps the size of a baby’s head. It probably didn’t make you stop anyway, because the love of beards is greater than the fear of bumps.
Then you give up and start buying beard oil
At some point, it was obvious you were just fooling yourself,, so you decided to splurge on beard oil promising that you’d look like Lebron in a few months.
Then you start praying to God that they connect
You finally start seeing some real growth, but the problem is, the strands don’t seem to be ot connecting. So you try everything you know. You go back to using spirit to fertilize the patch that has somehow refused to grow hair. Or you keep using rollers to make the hair on your chin look fuller. Either way, it’s stressful.
And when they finally connect, you’ll treat it like it’s your most valued possession
When your beard connects, they become your entire personality.
Then 2023 comes and no one cares about them that much anymore
Women don’t even list having a beard as part of their spec anymore. How the mighty have fallen.
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