Every person who drifts into our orbit has some effect on us. Some small, some big. The most likely to leave huge impacts are the people we are in relationships with. I spoke with five men who told me heartwarming stories about how their partners have changed their lives.
Feyi
Before we started dating in 2019, I was nonchalant and carefree about a lot of things I should have taken seriously like school, planning and routine. I preferred to go with the flow instead of making long-term plans and this caused me a lot of anxiety. When I started dating her, she changed all of that. I’m more deliberate with my decisions and I’m taking my life more seriously. She has also taught me to be emotionally intelligent and better at properly articulating my feelings.
She’s a writer and I’m trying to emulate that, even though I suck at it. She’s a lesson in resourcefulness. She always knows what she’s doing and has a handle on everything. I could go on and on but my life had been transformed for the better since I met her and I still have a whole lot to learn from her. I love her very much.
Laide
Before she came into my life, I used to be bad at managing money. I could hardly account for my money. When she came into my life, she made me account for every kobo. She taught me how to manage my money and avoid living lavishly. She’s also taught me to be patient and changed how my thought process about things. I’ve become more serious with my plans because she makes me accountable to them.
Lekan
My partner makes me feel less insane. My sense of humour is very silly and weird but my partner laughs at all my jokes and makes jokes at the same frequency. He makes it easier for me to exist, I think that’s the best way to explain it. We’re very different people in so many ways but very much the same in all the ways that matter. I love that I can vocalize all the things in my head, even the half-formed things and he helps me make them make sense. He goes out of his way to fulfil all my irrational Disney-esque desires in a relationship. I don’t think my life has changed per se, he just makes it easier for me to live in it, easier for me to exist in this skin and reality of mine without feeling stupid or uncomfortable.
Yinka
We’ve been together since I was in 300-level, 8 years ago. I used to be laid back, preferring to go with the flow rather than make plans. She made it clear that she had certain goals and aspirations and she wouldn’t compromise on them for anything, including me. I knew she was the person I wanted to be with, so I realised I’d have to make adjustments to my life. I became more serious with my academics and set life goals for myself.
My worldview has also changed from when I used to hold archaic notions. She’s a feminist who made me think more intelligently about social issues and I’m a better man and partner for that. Yet, the biggest impact she has made is that she’s provided me with a reason to be better. I just want to be the best man and partner I can be for her. Also, she’s beautiful so being able to go out with her as her man does wonders for my self-esteem.
Mark
My babe has made me a more emotionally intelligent person. I used to place a lot of premium on being a logical person. I’ve learnt softness without feeling like I’m less of a man, and how to be a human being. I realised that sticking to logic makes me come off as cold and unfeeling. You can’t always be rational about life.
Read: How I Almost Lost My Testicles. Twice
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